Archive: Master & Apprentice Site and The Wonderful World
of Makebelieve okay. All others, please ask, just so I can
visit! :-)
Disclaimer: These characters are the creation and property of
George Lucas. No copyright infringement is intended and no
money may be made from this story.
Summary: A short AU, I'll assume taking place some time before
the events in TPM.
Feedback/LOC's: Since this is my first time writing in this
fandom, all comments/crits are very much appreciated. Send to:
dbkate2@aol.com
The twin suns of Berhat rose with their usual vengeance.
Binary stars, a smaller, hotter one placed beside a cooler
giant, circling eternally together, heating light years worth
of space ... burning and destroying some parts, giving warmth
and life to others.
Obi-wan Kenobi avoided looking at them directly. Their combined
might could blind a man in minutes if he were careless and
Obi-Wan had no intention of being scarred for a lifetime by
mere curiosity.
Instead, he stared out onto the vast desert plains of Berhat.
Watched the sands shift and sway in patterns, static gold
weaving to and fro in the still cool morning breeze. His
vantage point was an excellent one, a huge cliff jutting out
from the side of Berhat's third highest peak, overlooking miles
of wasteland.
Wasteland that still held endless forms of life and Obi-Wan
contemplated them easily, letting himself flow with and around
them, enjoying their disparity. The hours passed easily before
he was through and he felt refreshed when finished.
Stretched his limbs lazily and on an impulse, looked down. A
rocky chasm lie hundreds of feet below and to his surprise, he
felt a strong touch of vertigo roll up his spine. A dizzy,
frightening wave of chaos overtook his senses and he
immediately grew fearful.
He didn't step back from the edge immediately, but instead,
carefully examined the experience. Remembered that as a child,
he'd feared chasms such as this, feared the possibility of
falling ... the terror of final flight. It was an ordinary,
childish terror, one that shouldn't have bothered him, but
since it did, it had to be dealt with.
He concentrated on the fear, tore it down to its most basic
elements and let it wash over him using the methods Qui-Gon had
taught him from day one. Attempted to let it pass through him
and away, banishing it to a part of his conscience he no longer
needed, therefore eliminating it entirely.
It didn't work. He was still afraid.
Immediately, Obi-Wan felt a sharp sense of failure pervade him,
accompanied by deep shame. Failing such elementary lessons at
this late stage was inexcusable and he had no idea how such a
thing could happen.
He tried again, desperately this time and once more he failed.
The vertigo grew worse and for one terrible moment Obi-Wan was
convinced that he might actually lose his footing, but luckily
his reflexes were still working and he caught himself just
before tumbling headfirst into the abyss.
Trembling, Obi-Wan stepped back from the chasm's edge ... and
fairly ran back to the safe shelter of his room.
Without a backwards glance.
That evening he found Qui-Gon waiting for him in one of the
southern conservatories.
It had been set up as a huge greenhouse, sheltering exotic
flowers gathered from the galaxy over, protecting them from the
dryness and heat of the outside wasteland. It was there, within
the chaos of color that his Master sat, a peaceful island
surrounded by an oasis of life.
Obi-Wan greeted him as always. Showing him respect tempered
with a gentler emotion that he'd always made sure to keep well
under control. "Master."
Qui-Gon didn't look up, but with the slightest of head
movements, motioned for his student to sit.
He obeyed, taking his place at the Master's feet, cross legged
and silent. Took a few moments to examine the flowers that
surrounded them, carefully noting their various shapes and
colors, allowing himself to wonder at the endless variety of
life; to feel the fused energy that was flowing throughout the
greenhouse.
Heard Qui-Gon's quiet voice interrupt his meditation.
"Something happened to you this morning on the cliffs.
Something that troubled you." It was a statement, not a
question.
Obi-Wan felt himself flush and berated himself for it. Another
failure. "Yes, Master."
Qui-Gon didn't look at his apprentice, he didn't reply ... he
simply waited.
A moment later, Obi-Wan continued. "I stood at the cliffs this
morning looking out over the wastes. All was well, until I
chanced to look down. Upon viewing the height, I noticed that I
felt an old childhood fear return ... a fear of falling. I
attempted to alleviate the fear as you had taught me long ago,
but I failed." He hesitated. "This bothered me greatly."
"Which bothered you more? The fear or your failure to conquer
it?"
Obi-Wan considered carefully. "I would have to say my fear,
Master. For most failures can be remedied with practice and
discipline, but if I cannot control a fear as simple as this
one..."
"All creatures fear falling," interrupted Qui-Gon easily,
plucking a faded bloom from a huge flowering bush beside him
and running his thumb over its death burnt petals. "Even if
they don't fear the inevitable death that would follow such an
event. They fear the flight itself, wondering what it would
feel like to lose their footing ... to tumble through
nothingness. To lose the power of their limbs, leaving the fate
of their physical being to pure chance. No, it's not the death
that we fear ..."
"It's the loss of control," whispered Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes."
It was a unsettling revelation and Obi-Wan nervously
contemplated it. Turned to Qui-Gon, intending to question him
further, when he noticed that a large piece was missing from
Qui-Gon's cloak ... a jagged rip right that went all the way up
to his elbow.
Obi-Wan felt a further sense of unease. Qui-Gon had usually
maintained a neat, if austere, appearance and this aberration
surprised him. He wondered if the Master had even noticed the
rent in his clothing, perhaps spending the day lost in
contemplation.
He decided to risk finding out. "Master," he said quietly,
hoping not to offend. "Your cloak. It's torn."
Qui-Gon didn't look down, but instead looked into Obi-Wan's
eyes with an open, affectionate gaze. "Yes, it is. Don't you
remember how this happened?"
Obi-Wan blinked. Shook his head. "I'm sorry, Master, but I do
not."
"Last night I was instructing you on the seven principles of
Tsu'it-Zin. I'd barely finished with the first one before I'd
noticed that you'd fallen asleep."
Obi-Wan's eyes widened. He was about to apologize, profusely,
when Qui-Gon stopped him with a wave of his hand.
And the slightest hint of a smile. "Yes, deep asleep. With your
head resting against a piece of my cloak. So, instead of waking
you from your rest..." Blue eyes, fathomless and deep, met his
own. "I tore it off."
At this, Obi-Wan was struck speechless.
His Master ... tearing his own cloak instead of waking him. It
was an action so thoughtful, so impossibly considerate, he
could hardly bear to imagine it. He slumped against his seat,
lost in thought, when he felt a gentle caress against his
cheek.
It was a light, ghostly touch, yet at the same time, perfectly
warm and human. Obi-Wan quickly turned to look at what he
assumed was its source, but his Master's hand was nowhere to be
seen.
"Go to bed, Padawan," said Qui-Gon gently. "Tomorrow we have
many tasks."
Numbly, Obi-Wan nodded and obeyed. Leaving Qui-Gon once more as
he'd found him.
A calm island framed by a chaotic display of life.
Obi-Wan retired late that evening to his pallet. It was there
he discovered a small piece of cloth lying on the end of the
coverlet.
He immediately recognized it as the torn piece of his Master's
cloak.
Obi-Wan picked it and examined it closely. Felt around its
soft, worn edges and it immediately became a symbol to him, a
symbol of care and affection.
A symbol of sacrifice.
He held onto it tightly and allowed himself to contemplate the
sacrifices that Qui-Gon had made for him throughout their years
together. The sheer scope and depth of them took his breath
away and it reminded him of the cliff's edge when he felt the
same sense of dizziness nearly overwhelm him.
Debated what to do, when the answer hit him.
Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan visualized the chasm and allowed
himself to fall ... fall straightaway into the abyss without
another thought.
It was a beautiful flight.
A spiraling tumble through warm air that at once freed and
exhilarated him more than almost anything he'd ever known. His
control was gone, and along with it, he realized that his fear
of falling had disappeared.
Completely.
He opened his eyes slowly and with reverence, Obi-Wan tucked
the torn fabric into the sleeve of his cloak. Lay down and
slept easily, dreaming of flight and the light touch of his
Master's care, soft as the worn bit of cloth kept safely beside
him.
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