Summary: Qui and Obi hash it out. Eventual happy ending.
Warnings: I don't know what came over me. I am a fluffy, happy
person. I was ambushed by the angst-bunny. So, it's not my
fault. I need to read and write some good smut to recover.
Feedback: I admit, I'm a sucker for it. I even write back, if
only to say thanks.
Disclaimer: They are not mine. After putting them through the
wringer, I really don't think they'd want to be claimed by me.
I had to promise hot and heavy sex for the next one.
"No."
Qui-Gon Jinn looked at his former Padawan with confusion. At
first he thought his hearing had suddenly deserted him and he
was hallucinating. But no, Obi-Wan confirmed what he had heard.
"I will be traveling the Outer Rim, Master Jinn. The assignment
could conceivably take a year or two." Obi-Wan bowed
respectfully. "I will not be able to assist you in training the
boy."
The Jedi Master could not understand from where this polite
stranger had come. 'Master Jinn'? He'd taken an assignment on
the Rim? Qui-Gon had hoped that his former Padawan would help
him with Anakin. He didn't understand the distance that
suddenly appeared between them.
"Excuse me, Master Jinn. I must go and pack." Obi-Wan gave that
little courteous bow again and quickly disappeared.
"Troubled you are, Padawan." Trust Yoda to announce the problem
even before Qui-Gon sat down in the diminutive Jedi Master's
quarters.
"Yes, my Master." Qui-Gon hesitated. "It's Obi-Wan. I...He's
suddenly distanced himself from me."
"His Master no longer you are. Perhaps distance he needs?"
Master Yoda casually poked his gimer stick into the rug under
his feet. A little too casually.
A pang of hurt went through Qui-Gon's heart. "He needs to be
his own Knight without his old Master hanging over his
shoulder," he heard himself say.
"Do that he could without the Rim mission." Again Yoda said
nothing directly.
"Have I done something? Is that the problem?"
Yoda sighed. "No. What have you not done, hmm?"
"Master..."
"Know your own heart do you? Know Obi-Wan's heart do you?"
Yoda's piercing gaze pinned the tall man to the floor. "Go.
Speak to him you must. Leaves tomorrow he does."
Qui-Gon found himself outside of his Master's quarters before
he could get a word out.
What the Sithhell did the little green troll mean?
Obi-Wan lay on the bed of his Knight's quarters. He hadn't been
here long enough to assert his aura on everything. And now, it
wouldn't matter. He was leaving. Okay, he was running away. But
he hurt. Qui-Gon chose Anakin for his Padawan before he could
get rid of Obi-Wan. At least he'd been supplanted by the Chosen
One, right? That counted for something, right? Fuck that.
Nothing could change the fact that Qui-Gon all but threw him
away and in front of the Council no less. He'd always known
that he wasn't good enough for any Master, especially Qui-Gon
Jinn. Never mind that he loved his Master with all of his
heart. He and his feelings didn't matter. His rather backhanded
Knighting only confirmed this in his mind.
And to add insult to injury, his former Master wanted him to
help train the boy. Although why Qui-Gon would want such a
flawed Jedi to assist him was beyond Obi-Wan. No, he belonged
on the Rim with the other misfits and unwanted people.
His communicator chimed abruptly.
"Kenobi."
"Knight Kenobi, this is Hardo Gisp, Captain of the d'Arc. We
need to leave sooner than expected. Can you be at the landing
bay in ten minutes?"
Obi-Wan grabbed his pack. "I'm on my way, Captain."
Qui-Gon stood outside Obi-Wan's quarters waiting. When the door
did not open, Qui-Gon cautiously scanned the interior with a
tendril of the Force. He found no trace of the young man.
A much longer search did not result in his finding his former
Padawan.
The Jedi Master stood in the Meditation Gardens trying to calm
his mind.
"Gone he is," Yoda sighed. "Apologize Captain Gisp did. Left
sooner that expected."
Qui-Gon nodded. That was that. He would have to wait now.
Five years later.
Obi-Wan strode down the ramp of the trader vessel with careless
ease. His years away and experience gained had melted away the
last vestiges of the young Padawan he'd once been. His hair was
longer held in a ponytail. He wore black tunics, leggings and
boots. Only his robe remained the same.
His mere presence certainly gave the crew of the trader vessel
a serious case of nerves. Sourly he thought they only knew
rumors. If they'd known the truth, they never would have let
him aboard.
The small form of Jedi Master Yoda waited patiently on the
landing pad for Obi-Wan.
The young Knight smiled and bowed. He truly was pleased to see
the old troll again.
Whack!
"Old am I?" Yoda huffed as Obi-Wan rubbed at his stinging shin.
"Pleased I am to see you, as well."
They entered the Temple proper Yoda taking the lead. Neither
Jedi spoke but seemed content in silence. Eventually they
entered one of the little-used meditation gardens.
Yoda motioned the young man to a convenient bench. "Tired of
running are you?"
Obi-Wan grimaced inwardly. He should have known the ancient
Master would nail him almost immediately. "I suppose I am," the
Knight said surprising himself.
"Where is he?"
Yoda didn't need to ask if Obi-Wan meant his former Master.
"There."
Obi-Wan followed the direction of Yoda's gimer stick. Through
the bushes he could see the vague outline of Qui-Gon Jinn and
his Padawan in meditation. His heart leapt at the sight of the
man. Even after all this time, Qui-Gon still had a grip on that
treacherous organ.
Master Yoda stared at the Knight for a moment, then patted him
on the knee and walked away.
Qui-Gon Jinn rose out of his meditation when he felt the
disturbance in the Force. Something akin to anger-tinged shame
washed over him. He sought out the source and opened his eyes
to see Obi-Wan Kenobi standing in front of him.
"Knight Kenobi," he said and nodded respectfully.
"Master Jinn." Glaciers weren't as cold as that voice.
Qui-Gon winced. Five damn long years and he still managed to
hurt his Padawan. He'd had those years to figure out what
Master Yoda tried to tell him. Obi-Wan loved him. He felt the
same towards the young Knight. But Obi-Wan stayed away and
Qui-Gon refused to abandon Anakin's training. The boy needed to
bond with the Jedi as a whole.
So, this unresolved matter between them had festered.
"Forgive me. I am an old fool." Qui-Gon's hushed voice carried
the weight of those years with it.
To his horror, Obi-Wan felt tears gather in his eyes. "Yes, you
are," he blurted then wheeled around to leave.
Qui-Gon sprang to his feet and grabbed the younger man's arm
suddenly angry. "Dammit, stop running, Padawan!"
A sob wracked the slender frame. "I'm not your Padawan.
Sometimes I wonder if I ever was."
That shocked the Jedi Master out of his anger. "What does that
mean?"
"You accepted me grudgingly. I know you didn't want me as a
Padawan, no one did. Eventually, you couldn't wait to get rid
of me. You had more important things to do." Obi-Wan gestured
to a wide-eyed and momentarily forgotten Anakin Skywalker.
"That's not true!" Qui-Gon burst out. "There were plenty of
Masters who wanted to train you. Yoda held out hope that I
could overcome Xanatos and be your Master. He was right. I
admit I behaved badly at first. But I did want you, Obi-Wan.
You were ready to be a Knight. When I found Anakin, that merely
precipitated your Knighthood. And now, you are one of the best
Knights ever."
Tears streaked unchecked down Obi-Wan's face. He wanted to
believe. But the insecure and unreasonable Obi-Wan hidden so
deeply inside of the unaware young Knight whispered that
Qui-Gon was his former Master and didn't want to be embarrassed
by a failure. So, of course, he said those things.
Obi-Wan shook his head in denial and yanked his arm away. "You
don't have to lie to me, Qui-Gon."
That blindsided the Jedi Master. "LIE! You think I would LIE to
you? You young idiot, have you no sense of self-worth at all?
Sweet Force, how did I fail you in this?"
"Y-you didn't. It w-was me," Obi-Wan stuttered in surprise.
"No, Obi-Wan, I was the Master and I failed you. I didn't see
this self-doubt, I didn't see that you loved me, and then I let
you go trying to figure out what had happened." Qui-Gon laughed
harshly. "Then, I finally figured it out and you were nowhere
to be found. I missed you, my Obi-Wan."
The last was a barely spoken whisper. It still managed to
squeeze Obi-Wan's heart.
"I-I-I'm sorry, Master. I-Please..."
Years of doubt, denial and selfishness washed over both of them
through their long dormant bond. This wasn't their training
bond. That Qui-Gon dissolved when he severed the Padawan Braid.
This was the lifebond that grew during Obi-Wan's
apprenticeship. The bond they never noticed as its growth was
unobtrusive.
Now they gave each other strength and healing through that
bond. Problems still existed between them but now they could
begin to face them honestly and together.
"Master Qui-Gon?" The unsure voice of Anakin Skywalker startled
the two Jedi. "Are you all right?"
Qui-Gon looked into Obi-Wan's eyes and smiled. "Yes, Anakin. I
believe we are."
Archive 