Master
Apprentice  Archive
The Merry Month of Premature Masturbation Challenge
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Rating: Not rated
Category: Other
Summary: Once upon a time, Emila-Wan got her mental months mixed up and issued a 150-word, first-line challenge for the Merry Month of ... March. See individual entries for ratings, warnings, pairings, etc.
Warnings: This challenge is like a box of chocolates ... or maybe Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans ... not only do you not know what you're going to get, it might end up tasting like earwax. Gungan earwax. Those with delicate sensibilities should move along. These aren't the snippets you're looking for.
Feedback: Oh, give it to me baby ... emila-wan@coruscant.net
Archive: M_A. Others please ask. Also available at http://www.jediphiles.com/index69.htm
Category: PWP, Angst
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: NC-17
Summary: An answer to my own 150-word masturbation challenge.
Disclaimer: George Lucas is da man. He owns everything. We just play.
"Are you _masturbating_?"
Qui-Gon stilled his hand. "I didn't know you were awake."
"I was meditating."
Qui-Gon rolled to his side and punched his pillow. "Good night, Padawan."
There was a long silence.
"Master?"
"Yes?"
"Don't stop on my account."
Qui-Gon sighed. "It's all right, Obi-Wan. Go to sleep."
"Don't think I _can_ sleep, now."
Qui-Gon's pulse quickened. "We shouldn't even ..."
"Shhh. I know, Master." The slow, rhythmic rustling of skin-on-skin whispered from somewhere to his right.
Biting back a moan, Qui-Gon rolled to his back. He listened for a moment, then took himself in hand, matching Obi-Wan's leisurely pace. After a while he heard Obi-Wan groan softly, deep in his throat. The sound brought him over the edge. He swallowed an agonized cry.
The room was silent for a few heartbeats.
"Oh, Force, Master ..." Obi-Wan sighed.
"Shhhhht ..." Qui-Gon soothed, his own heart aching with what
could never be said. "I know, Padawan. I know."
END
Archive: Booth's 150W archive if she still takes new entries
Notes: Remember last year, folks? Those 150W ficlets that drove some of you batty? Be afraid! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
"Are you masturbating?"
Sounding both amused and curious, Qui-Gon risked an eye to watch his lover firmly and determinedly run his hand up and down his ebony shaft.
"Love, I know, four hours is a *long* time without having sex, but... must you do it here? In *public? Really!" Qui-Gon averted his eyes, checking the beach he and Mace had chosen to sun themselves carefully for any onlookers.
"Oh, shut up, Qui. Of course I am *not* masturbating, but since you insisted on choosing this nude beach for our morning nap, I better take care of my skin ... all of it! I burn easily!"
Almost indignantly, Mace continued his application of sun loation to his impressive member.
"Well, if you burn *there*, I will have the best excuse to be on top the next time, won't I?" And with a chuckle Qui-Gon lay back again to enjoy the sun.
Archive: Yes to master_apprentice, anywhere else please ask first, so I can say yes :)
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rated: PG
Written: 27 February 2002
Feedback: All comments welcome.
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. They belong to George. I'm just playing in the tower for a wee bit just for fun, no money involved.
Summary: An answer to Emila-Wan Kenobi's 150-word masturbation challenge. This one clocks in at 149-words.
"Are you masturbating?"
"Did he truly say that?" Mace asked wide-eyed with surprise.
"Yes," his friend and age-mate replied. "I nearly swallowed my spoon."
Now Mace's eyes danced and chest rumbled with laughter. "I warned you about petting Popsicle under the table."
"I don't think it's funny, Mace. When I'd stopped sputtering soup the felinoid had jumped off my lap, and Obi-Wan was snickering at me!"
"Poor Qui! Did he offer to help get that felinoid hair off your crotch?" Mace responded while still chuckling.
"Mace, you are one sick Jedi! I'm sure my Padawan would never use such a line..."
"Are you masturbating?"
"Oh, tell me you didn't actually ask him that!" squeaked Bant.
"Oh but I did," her friend and age-mate replied with a twinkle in his eye. "You should have seen him choke on his soup."
"You're going to drive your Master crazy."
Obi-Wan just smiled.
Archive: m_a, my site (http://www.geocities.com/greensage2/). All others, please ask.
Category: PWP, Challenge fic
Rating: Um, PG-13?
Warnings: none
Summary: Obi-Wan gets surprised while he's *cough* meditating.
Notes: Not beta'd. All mistakes are mine. I read Emila's challenge, and got bit by this bunny. Sorry for doctoring the first line a bit, but, well, you'll see. Hope you like it! I haven't got it up at my site yet, but it'll be on my livejournal too: http://www.livejournal.com/~greensage
Feedback: Oh please, oh please! Either on the list or by email would be fine; I'll take anything.
Disclaimers: Not mine. No money. All hail the mighty Lucas. Promise to put them back when I'm done.
"Masturbating, are you, hmm?" The question was calm, if sly.
A strangled exclamation of shock flew from Obi-Wan's lips as he rolled over in the sun-warmed grass of the Garden to face his inquisitor.
"Master Yoda!" he gasped. "Of course I'm not! Not in public, certainly."
Yoda's ears twitched. "Aha. Lying down for meditation, you were, then, hmm?" he teased.
Obi-Wan couldn't stop the color that flooded his cheeks. "Well, Master, if you must know, yes. My Master will be joining me here shortly."
Yoda looked faintly disappointed. "Ah. A shame, it is, that masturbating you were not."
Obi-Wan choked on nothing in particular. "What?!" he squeaked.
Yoda grinned devilishly at him. "Likes to watch, Qui-Gon does. Catch him for sure, you will, if that sort of meditation, you practice."
Obi-Wan flushed again. Did *everyone* but Qui-Gon know?
The old Master cackled gleefully as he shuffled out of the Garden.
Archive: M_A, anywhere else just ask
Category: humor/parody
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Summary: An inside joke is born.
Feedback: Pretty please?
Disclaimers: Property of George
Notes: Not beta'd. Run. Hide.
"Are you masturbating?"
Qui-Gon's eyes popped open, and he looked sharply at the padawan standing outside his bedroom. "*What*?"
Obi-Wan mentally reviewed his last statement, and turned crimson. "Meditating! I meant meditating!"
Qui-Gon chuckled. "Obi-Wan, I know teenage boys obsess about sex, but-"
"Master, it was a slip of the tongue!" This only fueled Qui-Gon's laughter, and Obi-Wan scowled. "Fine then." He turned away in a huff.
"Wait. I assume you wished to join me." Qui-Gon forced a solemn statement to sooth ruffled adolescent dignity. "Padawan, I would be honoured if you would join me in... masturbating."
Obi-Wan fled, knowing he would never hear the end of this one.
"I don't understand! Why are you taking my master away?"
"Know he is molesting you we do. Overheard him offering to
guide your evening masturbation, Mace did." Yoda glared in
puzzlement as the indignant master and padawan quite suddenly
dissolved into laughter.
* Finis *
Archive: MA, others email to ask
Genre: Humor/parody
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or universe, no money involved
Summary: response to challenge - 150 words with opening line (word count 149)
"Are you masturbating?!"
"Uh -"
"Jedi do not slink away from official ceremonies to practice self-indulgence!"
"You have greatly disappointed me. Even randy 15-year-old boys should know better. Until I excuse you, you will do daily additional meditations and essays on self-control."
"I'm sorry, Master."
"Save your apologies. Control your behaviors."
"I hope your poor Padawan is feeling better."
"Master Healer.?"
"That nasty dermal fungus. Terrible case, but those jungle environments do promote it. Puts even Masters into fits."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's embarrassing, Master. Besides, you were right - it was unacceptable behavior, no matter the cause."
"Obi-wan, Jedi aren't perfect. We get sick. We lose our tempers. Sometimes we even get skin infections. I apologize for jumping to conclusions. And next time, you will tell me when you have a debilitating condition."
"Yes, Master."
"Do you want me to check -"
"No, Master!"
Archive with Group Please...
Feedback appreciated...
Are you masturbating, Obi-Wan?
Qui-Gon had to think about closing his mouth after his question because the sight of his nubile Padawan in his present state of practically naked seductiveness was difficult to ignore. Dressed in a few feathers and a white plumed coronet, the young man was dancing and touching himself so suggestively that his Master felt a rush of blood tint his usually serene countenance and engorge his male member.
"I'm practicing, Master. I've been asked to dance the part of the Swan Prince in a play the Senior Padawans have written for the Annual Artistic Festival on Alderaan."
"I'll leave you in peace then, my Padawan," Qui-Gon said dryly. "I'll be in my quarters."
Once the door was closed, stately Master Qui-Gon Jinn flung off his outer robe, loosened his tunics and reclined on his sleep couch. A touch of Force dimmed the room by drawing the curtains. Visions of the dancing youth filled the Master's mind's eye as his big hands began stroking.
Archive: sure, if you want it
Notes: Thank you Emila-Wan. What a lovely challenge! :=)
"Are you masturbating?"
"Yes, as matter of fact, yes, I am!"
"But ... but my Master, aren't you..."
"Too old? Age matters not, my Padawan. Join me, you should. Learn something you could. Yes! Hmmmpf!"
"Oh, that last pull ... it looked painful. Have you hurt yourself?"
"Banth Poodoo! Pain, close to pleasure it is, yes. Learn that you will, Qui-Gon. Show you I can."
"Aah, no, but I think I might get the concept alone from watching you."
"Chicken, you are my Padawan. Do, you must, not stare! When 800 years old you are, many techniques you will learn. Teach Obi-Wan, you should. Incomplete a Jedi's training is without nookie lessons ... aaaammmppf!"
"Come again, my Master?"
"Cannot, right now! Knew that if do it more often you would. But one thing in my future now I see - council session with Yaddle, much less stressful will be now!"
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Q/O (no Gungans today, sorry)
Warnings: none
Archive: M_A (or wherever they're being archived) and my site http://www.geocities.com/master_fishgoat/
Summary: A piece of smut for the 150 word Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge starting with the line "Are you masturbating?". Gee, what could *this* be about? ;)
"Are you masturbating?"
"Yes, Master."
"Good. Let me hear you."
*moan*
"Wonderful, my pet. Keep stroking yourself."
"Yes.*ugh*. Master."
"Good. Very good. Where are your hands?"
"On my ass and cock." *ooooh*
"Perfect. Insert one finger."
"Ah! Yes, Master. Done."
"Finger fuck yourself."
*groan* *gasp*
"Slave!"
"Yes, Master! I'm sorry, my Master."
"You will not come until I say. Stroke yourself harder and add another finger."
"Y-yes, Master!"
"That is better. Discipline is a Jedi's strength."
"Thank you...ah!... Master."
"Continue your stroking."
*ugh*
*pant*
*moan*
*hiss*
"When may I come, Master?"
"Not yet, slave. Are you close?"
"Oh, yes . Master."
"Are you hungry for me?"
"Yes, Master!"
"Do you lust for me?"
"Yes, Master!"
"Can you live without me?"
"N-no, Master *sob* ...please...!"
*sob*
*groan*
*harsh breathing*
"Come."
*scream*
*silence*
"Are you alright, Qui-Gon?"
"Just a little messy, padawan."
*laugh* "Goodnight, then, love."
"Call me again tomorrow?"
"Oh, yes."
*END*
Archive: M/A and my web site, http://www.sockiipress.org/~rose
Rating: R
Category: Humor/Parody
Warnings: Writing live fic in the #bic room can be hazardous to your health.
Spoilers: None
Feedback: <waves hand slowly in air You WILL send feedback. Ah, come on! You know you want to!
Summary: 150 word and first line challenge response. I modified the first line a bit. Chalk this one up to too much time in aforementioned chat room with too many jazzed writers! This little bunny sprouted afterwards and kept me up even later. Bad, Bunny! Oh, and names have been changed to protect the guilty.
"Is he masturbating?" writer Artkele asked as they crouched, hidden, in the bushes.
"I think they both are," writer Ume said, watching the two Jedi kneeling by the garden pool.
"Oh, boy," writer Esor said, rubbing her hands together. "Hot Jedi love."
The Jedi's hands moved faster. Both stiffened, grunting, and white seed spewed onto the grass.
Silence fell.
"What?" Esor asked. "Is that it? Is that all?"
"Can't be," Artkele moaned.
"Wait!" Ume said, pointing. "Look! They're moving!"
The Jedi kissed - deeply, passionately. Then, they stood and smiled at each other.
"No," Esor groaned, burying her face in her hands.
"Sith!" Artkele said. "They're leaving!"
As the two Jedi strolled away, Ume jumped to her feet. "Hey! You Jedi!" she growled. "Don't even think about it! Let's take that again from the top, okay?"
The Jedi stopped, blinked, then nodded.
"All you had to do was ask," Qui-Gon said.
Back to top
Archive: M_A; anyone else, just ask
Category: Q/O, humor/parody
Rating: R
Warnings: Not beta'd. Run. Hide. Gross ending alert.
Spoilers: nope
Summary - 150 word fic challenge
Feedback - Pretty please? On or off list.
Disclaimers: The toys... I mean *boys* belong to George
"Are you *masturbating*?"
"Um--"
"Master! How could you?"
"Well--"
"I'm on my *deathbed*, I get up to use the 'fresher one last time before I die, and find my master, who supposedly loves me, *masturbating*."
"Padawan--"
"No excuses. Strip and get into bed."
"But--"
"Do I have to do everything around here? Move!"
"Obi--"
"I meant today, Master. Lie down. Spread your legs. Wider. A dying padawan ought to get a few sick days. Next you'll mmph mm huml."
"Wha--"
"*I said* next you'll have me scrubbing floors."
"I was taking care of myse--"
"Leaving me alone! In my condition. While you had fun. You uph mmpph."
"Oooh..."
"Mhmm..."
"Obi-Wan!"
"I think I'll get dressed and eat in the refectory. Coming?"
"I thought you were dying, Padawan."
"It's just a cold, Master."
Qui-Gon smirked as Obi-Wan left. The attitude adjustment was
worth the mucus in the sheets.
* Finis *
Archive: MA, if they want it
Notes: Emila, Emila, what have you done? I cannot stop myself!
*smirks* Done to honor Emila-Wan's Merry Month of Premature Masturbation 150 word challenge.
"Are you masturbating?" The voice from beyond the closed fresher door made the Padawan jump.
"Yes...Master. As a matter of fact, I'm... almost ... doooooooonneeeeeee. Aaaahhhh..." Flushing was heard from within, and Qui-Gon nodded with relief.
"Padawan, I know you are anxious to perform at your best, and I must applaud your eagerness to get the technique I showed you down to an art, but - we are really late already!"
A bit more flushing, then Obi-Wan pranced out into the living room, shaking off any excess water still clinging to his well-exercised cock before stowing it away into his leggings.
"Ready, my Padawan? Hope was shimmering through the Master's voice.
"Yes, definitely! This year I'll finally beat Master Yoda in the annual Temple Speed Jerk Off, Master! Don't you think, Master?"
Lovingly, Qui-Gon put his hands onto his Padawan's shoulder.
"Then there's nothing more I can teach you, Obi-Wan!"
The end
Archive: MA (please)
Rating: R (?)
Category: Challenge, Humor(?)
Spoilers: None
Feedback: If you would be so kind
Warnings: It didn't take me long to write, don't expect too much :)
Summary: A little discussion between lovers (my answer to the 150 word masturbation challenge)
"Are you masturbating?"
"Hmm? No, go back to sleep."
"You are masturbating, aren't you?"
"Maybe just a little."
"Just a little? Why? We spent most of last night making love. Didn't I satisfy you?"
"Of course. It's just that with my youth and the fertility celebrations, I needed more."
Long pause.
"I don't satisfy you, do I?"
"Of course you do, don't be silly. You're the only one that can make me scream out in passion every time we make love. As I said, it's just the emotions of the festival."
"A Jedi must be able to control their emotions."
"I *know* the code."
"Just checking." Another long pause. "Then I do satisfy you?"
"You are the only lover I will ever want or need. You are my heart, my life, my soul. Now go to sleep, Obi-Wan."
"Yes, love."
A few minutes later, "Master, are you still masturbating?"
Archive: MWEB and MA if wanted
Notes: Part of the Landmarks series with Mace and Depa, but also yet again in answer to Emila-Wan's beautiful MMoM challenge!
"Are you masturbating?" Depa's mind was most inquisitive for a 9 year old. "Master Chillek said you get hair on your hands that way." The young girl pointed to her Master's right hand which was hidden within the front of his leggings as he lay on his bed.
Hastily, Mace retracted his hand, blushing, then inspecting his fingers.
"Well, yes I was ... masturbating, Depa. And rest assured, Master Chillek is most certainly wrong, Dee!"
Depa's eyes shone with a gazillion question marks. "Yeah, maybe. But, don't you have Quiggle-Pooh for that?"
"Yes, I do, but Qui-Gon isn't here right now, so... " Mace was at a loss for words.
"And you miss him? Oh, he's with Master Yoda. I'll get him for you. Just wait here!" and off the girl went before Mace could respond or hold her back.
Surely, his next council session would be lively as hell!
Archive: M_A; anyone else, just ask
Category: humor/parody
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not beta'd. Run. Hide.
Spoilers: nope
Summary - 150 word fic challenge
Feedback - Pretty please? On or off list.
Disclaimers: The toys... I mean *boys* belong to George
"'Are you *masturbating*?'" Qui-Gon looked incredulously at his apprentice.
"I know. I couldn't believe it either."
"Well, were you?"
"Of course not! There were fifty people in the room."
Recalling the circumstances in which Qui-Gon had caught him
just ten
minutes ago, Obi-Wan decided to plunge ahead quickly. "I
was... adjusting myself. Then Bruck said... what he said...
and...
They were all staring at me!"
"So you decided to illustrate the difference?"
"Yes. I mean, no! Master..." Obi-Wan trailed away, uncertain
how to explain the conversation, the escalating taunts and
dares
that seemed so logical at the time. "You know how competitive
I am."
"Explain to me once more how being competitive leads a pair
of teenage boys to climb Master Yoda's favourite
meditation
platform and engage in a 'masturbation race' in front of half
a hundred padawans."
Obi-Wan sighed and started the story again.
*Finis*
Archive: if you want it, sure
Notes: *shakes finger at Emila* You *never, ever* want to
challenge a Real Yogie to a 150 word contest! The
consequences
are ... well, see for yourself:=)
"Are you masturbating?"
"What does it look like, Padawan? I'm ertainly not!"
"But the sounds you've made. Those grunts and moans... just like when you jerk off, Master!"
"For your information, my dear Obi-Wan, when I satisfy
myself, I have images of your sweet arse and cock dancing in
front of
my eyes, and the taste of your cum on my tongue. I would
hardly call that jerking off! Now - if you *would be so kind*
as to
help me with this?"
"Alright, alright. Sure I'll help you tend to yourself,
Master! And I am sorry if my comment hurt you, Qui! Now,
where would
you like me to start?"
"Where I always start, Padawan, on the top. And please, be careful, Obi. It's so hard to get these damn knots out of my hair!"
"Maybe I should have put the Nair in your toothpaste instead of Master Windu's!"
Archive: If you want it.
Notes: It's harder than I thought to come up with 150 words! MMoM challenge
"Are you masturbating?"
"Of course not, Master Windu."
"That's good. I'm sure Qui-Gon wouldn't appreciate a padawan with hairy palms. Now, run along."
"You realize, it'll take weeks to convince him to stop shaving his palms."
"Yes, he's a bit obsessive."
"He just stopped waking in a panic every morning, expecting to find his penis had broken off during the night."
"I had nothing to do with that one."
"You could have stopped it."
"Who am I to contradict Yoda?"
"No wonder Council members aren't allowed padawans."
"Yes, that's the beauty of it. We can torment yours and send them back to you. Now, where were we?"
"Wrong head has guided your actions again, hmmm?"
Mace frowned, went to the 'fresher, meticulously inspected
the top of his head and was relieved to find nothing pink
there. Still,
he was due for another depilatory treatment. And Qui-Gon
liked him smooth.
End
Archive: M/A and my web site, http://www.sockiipress.org/~rose
Rating: R
Category: Humor
Warnings: Never read Emila's challenges!
Spoilers: None
Feedback: <waves hand slowly in air You WILL send feedback. Ah, come on! You know you want to!
Summary: Yet another 150 word, first line challenge response.
"Are you masturbating?"
Obi-Wan blinked. "Am I what?"
"Masturbating," Bant repeated, watching her eleven-year-old best friend closely.
"No!" he said indignantly. "I was just --- you know --- touching."
"Touching is the same thing."
"Is not!"
"Is too! What do you think 'masturbating' means?"
Obi-Wan blushed. "It means, trying to make yourself---"
"Don't!" Bant shrieked, holding up her hands. "Please don't quote me any definitions. And, I'm glad you weren't masturbating, because Master Yoda says, if you do, you'll itch and itch and your skin will flake off."
Obi-Wan shifted, already feeling a little itch beginning. "Really?"
"Yes. Master Yoda would never lie, would he?"
Obi-Wan shook his head, fidgeting. Was it his imagination, or was the skin *down there* already starting to flake off? He squirmed, then jumped to his feet. "Gotta go!" he said as he loped away.
Bant hid a grin. "Boys," she said. "So gullible."
Archive: M_A, if you want it, any others, ask. I probably won't say no.
My Home Page: http://www.jediphiles.com
Category: Humor
Rating: NC17
Notes: I so said I wasn't going to do this. I wasn't going to start. No way. Not this time. Emila, my Master you may be, but from the darkside you are from. And by the way, I REALLY do not want to know your answers to this. [grin]
One more thing - 150 words exactly, counting the Title and THE END.
Are you masturbating?
As you read the M_A fic.
Are you wishing that your finger,
Could sometimes be a dick?
Are you playing with a dildo?
Or is a vibrator your speed?
Or is it just your hand you use,
To do this dandy deed?
If you have a partner,
Do you masturbate alone?
Or do they like to watch you,
As you writhe and twist and moan?
How often do you do it?
More than once or twice a week?
Do you do it several times a day?
And wonder if you're a freak?
Do you do it in the bathtub?
Or do you do it in your bed?
Do you do it when you are nakey?
Once your clothes are quickly shed?
Are you quiet when you're coming?
Or do you cry out loud?
Could you get away with masturbating,
While standing in a crowd?
The End
Archive: M_A, if you want it, any others, ask. I probably won't say no. My Home Page: http://www.jediphiles.com
Disclaimer: These beautiful boys aren't mine, they belong to George. I'm just playing with them for a bit. I promise to put them back when I'm done. Don't sue - I've got no money. I've spent it all on seeing TPM way too many times and buying SW toys and feeding my Liam obsession.
Notes: Yes. I did it again. 150 words exactly (does not include the title). Please note that each sentence begins with the next letter of the alphabet - from A to Z. [clever, yes?] This, as you well know, is Emila's fault. Force bless her.
Are you masturbating?
Behind the closed door of your room?
Can you feel me through our bond?
Desiring you will be my doom.
Every night I feel your passion,
Force, you're driving me insane.
Guessing who is on your mind,
Hoping just to hear my name.
I want to be your lover.
Just this once, I beg of you.
Kiss me, touch me, take me.
Let me make sweet love to you.
Make me yours, my Master.
Never doubt you have my heart.
One night is all I'm asking,
Perhaps one night before we part?
Qui-Gon, beautiful Qui-Gon,
Rescue me from this despair.
Save me from this loneliness,
Tell me that you really care.
Use me for your pleasure,
Vanquish all of my self-doubt.
Why do you mourn things long past?
Xanatos was such a lout.
You know I couldn't betray you, chum.
Zero hour, now has come.
Archive: Anywhere, just e-mail me!
Category: 150W Challenge, Humour
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Um...Implied slash?
Summary: Uh. Yoda feels something in his mind and he interogates one of his padawans (Qui) about it.
Feedback: I love feedback. *hint, hint* ::waves hand:: You will send feedback.
A/N: My contribution to the 150W Challenge. Not much to say about my poor, pathetic ficlet.
*Are you masturbating?*
*Master, I am doing no such thing!*
*Lie to me, you do*
*Forgive me master. But I am not lying. Now if you don't mind.*
*Lie to me, you are doing! I feel you in my head, I do.*
*Master, I am trying to finish my report on the Gamara system. So if you would please.*
*Padawan, I insist you get out of my head, you do.*
*Master Yoda, you were in my head to being with.*
*I was not. You first, you were.*
*Maybe you have me confused with one of your other padawans. I have no need for masturbating.*
*An apprentice suffices?*
*::mental grr::*
*Only suggesting the obivious, I was.*
*I don't need your lectures.*
*Disobeident you should not be. You are at it again, you are!*
*At what again, master?*
*Masturbating, you are.*
*As I said before, I am not!*
*Then who is?*
*MACE!*
Archive: Oh yeah!
Notes: It's late here, so this will be my last... for today! Tomorrow ... MWAHAHA:=)
For Emila!
"Are you masturbating." The Master shook his head, looking reproachful at his meek Padawan in front of him.
"Obi-Wan, have *you* started this...this craze? Again? These 150 Word MoM challenge ficlets are flooding my, and every Master's mailbox in this Temple! Haven't you learned anything from last time this happened?"
Eyes cast to the floor, Obi-Wan remained silent.
"Last time, someone - and I don't think I need to remind you *who* started this nonsense the last year, do I? - got the whole Council up in arms. Jedi threatened to leave the Light, initiates were snickering during Master Yoda's lessons. And Mace got even more sour than usual. Do you *really* want this to be repeated, and us being send to Naboo?"
"No, of course not, Master!" came the meek response.
"Good! Now tell your freinds to stop writing these. I really would hate to go to Naboo for this!"
Notes: Okay, this should be the last one and I even spelled masturbating right this time. :o) Another 150 word MMoM challenge.
"Are you masturbating?"
"Yes, Master."
"While we're sparring? Really, Obi-Wan."
"I can't help it."
"You couldn't wait for a little privacy?"
"Well, see, I've yet to calculate the exact amount of time it takes for the pressure to reach its capacity. Garen didn't know either.and I really don't want to take any chances."
"Chances?"
"I know that fear leads to the Dark side, but Master -- I'm too young to die! Dying like that would be very.*painful* and *messy*. And, I'd hate for you to have to clean up afterwards."
"How very thoughtful of you."
"So, until I'm able to ascertain the window of opportunity."
"Until then, maybe you could spar with Master Hogre?"
Obi-Wan shuddered. "M-Master Hogre?"
"Naked, of course." Qui-Gon smiled serenely, gratified by the greenish cast to his padawan's skin. "How's that pressure coming along?"
Obi-Wan gulped. "S-seems to have dissipated considerably, Master."
"Well, thank the Force."
Archive: MA
Series: see notes
Rating: NC-17
Warning: not really
Disclaimer: Here's hoping Lucas doesn't catch *me* in the act
Summary: 150 word dialog fic in answer to the masturbation challenge
Notes: Yikes this is turning into a multiple writer series, the Adventures of Slut!Qui and TalkDirty!Obi. Previously our Heroes appeared in "Padawan's Price" by MrsHamill, "Staking A Claim" by Ruth Gifford, and "Returning to the Scene of the Claim" by Master Jenn Kenobi. This riffs off the last story. I can only speak for myself, but I would love to see other people writing about these versions of the boys. Come on, you know you want to.
Feedback: Talk dirty to me!
"Are you masturbating?"
"Um . . . yes."
"What did I tell you?"
"It's yours and I'm not to touch it without permission."
"And yet . . . "
"I'm sorry. It's just . . ."
"Yes?"
"I was thinking of us and the wall behind the club."
"That's no excuse. Remember my threat?"
"Yes Obi-Wan."
"Bend over, slut."
*gasp*
"Big, isn't it?"
"Force, yes!"
"You like it stuffed up inside you, don't you?
*moan*
"Yeah, you like that big thing shoved up your ass, stretching you for me."
"Oh yes, Obi-Wan."
"Here, this should make things even more interesting."
"Obi-Wan . . ."
"Hush, we need to get going."
<short time later
"Think about it. You're naked under your leggings, you have a very large plug up your ass, and a cock ring keeping you in line. And you like it."
"Oh yes."
"*My* slut."
"Yes, Obi-Wan. Only yours."
The end
Archive: Sure, if anyone wants it.
Category: Challenge Fic (Premature Masturbation) PWP (sorta), Rather Silly.
Rating: Hanged if I know. Somewhere between PG-13 and R.
Warnings: This is what happens when Emila's plot bunnies torment the poor Byrdie. Totally her fault ;-)
Also not betaed. Read at your own risk <eg
Summary: Mace's turn on the hot seat.
Spoilers: None. But THAT SCENE never happened. And never will, either.
Feedback: pleasepleaseplease. My first ever TPM story.
Disclaimers: Mine they are not. To the Mighty GL belongs all things Star Wars. The Force made me do it ....just ask Yoda!
"Were you masturbating?"
Qui Gon *would* ask. Mace Windu blushed and blurted out the truth. "No, it's my underwear. That Sith-possessed new laundry droid... "
Young Kenobi snickered. First time he'd heard that one. He wasn't buying it, knowing too well the Councilor's appetites. Neither he nor his Master minded, but -- in a meeting with the President *and* the Queen? Ye gods, what a shameless slut!
"Maybe, but I'm yours," Mace reminded. "And C-3PO *did* shrink my favorite red G-string. See?" Off came the formal Jedi robes.
Master and Padawan exchanged hot glances, then pounced. Mace grinned. He was *so* gonna be fucked!
He was *so* gonna be sick. "Perfectly normal given the circumstances," Healer Maruko reassured. From Yoda: "When nine hundred babies *you* have had ..."
Mace's last conscious thought was Dark Side or no, this time
his husbands were dead meat.
THE END.
Archive: M-A
Category: non Q/O, although it's implied. Mostly W/L.
Rating: PG
Feedback: sop2nd@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: The original characters belong to Lucasfilm, and more's the pity
"Are you masturbating?"
"What?!" Luke snapped out of his reverie.
The voice of his XO crackled over the communicator. "I said, are you masturbating?"
"Oh. No... 'though I could." Luke tried to stretch in his cramped cockpit. "It'd be better than just sitting here."
Wedge Antilles laughed, and Luke imagined the accompanying smile. "Patrol's over in a few hours," the young Corellian said. "Then we have a whole day off. Together." The voice turned decidedly husky. "Just the two of us. Besides," he added, laughter again coloring his voice, "What would General Kenobi have thought, knowing that you couldn't keep your hand out of your pants?"
"Actually, my hand doesn't want to be in *my* pants," Luke said, a bit plaintively. Panic hit as he thought of something. "Wait -- are we on a private channel?"
Wedge laughed again. "Hey, it's *me* -- of course we're on a private channel! *I* know how to handle this baby." The silent tease was clear: *Better than you.*
Luke smiled. "Well, Ben didn't have to worry about the things I worry about."
"Luke, you're going to be a Jedi, just like he was-"
"That's not what I mean," Luke cut in. "*He* always got to travel with his lover -- not fly solo, like I have to." He gave a dramatic sigh and looked out of his cockpit window. "Do you know how hard it is, seeing you flying next to me, and not being able to touch you?"
"I know exactly how hard it is," Wedge said softly. "Only a few hours more, Red Leader."
Flying behind Luke's X-Wing and to his left a bit, Wes Janson flipped up his comm switch. "Hobbie, should I remind Red Two that to secure a private channel you have to flip the switch *up*?"
Hobbie Klivian chuckled. "Do you *want* to be vaped into space dust? Anyway," he said, yawning, "I know how they feel." He brought his X-Wing a hair closer to his lover. "So, uh... are you masturbating?"
END
Archive: M/A and my web site, http://www.sockiipress.org/~rose
Rating: R
Category: Humor
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Feedback: <waves hand slowly in air You WILL send feedback. Ah, come on! You know you want to!
Summary: Yet another answer to Emila-Wan's 150 word, first line challenge!
"Are you masturbating?" Qui-Gon asked his fourteen-year-old Padawan through the closed 'fresher door.
There was immediate and total silence, then a hesitant, "Umm . . . "
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Obi-Wan," the Master said. "It's expected at your age. But, I think it's time we had 'The Talk'."
"Are you masturbating again?" Qui-Gon asked the sixteen-year-old who had closed himself in his room.
Silence. Then, "How did you know?"
"Do I really need to answer that?"
"Are you still masturbating?" he asked the 'fresher door.
"Yes, Master," the eighteen-year-old replied after a lengthy pause, his voice high pitched and tight.
Qui-Gon sighed. "Well, if it takes this much time, you're doing it wrong."
"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon said in a low, husky voice. "Are you masturbating?"
"Yes, my Master," his twenty-year-old lover purred. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Are you kidding? I want to watch."
Archive: M/A and my web site, http://www.sockiipress.org/~rose
Rating: R
Category: Humor
Warnings: Never read Emila's challenges!
Spoilers: None
Feedback: <waves hand slowly in air You WILL send feedback. Ah, come on! You know you want to!
Summary: Yet another 150 word, first line challenge response. Will these things never stop?
"Are you masturbating?" a soft, husky drawl asked from the bunk above him.
Luke blushed, stilling his hand on his cock. "Um, yes . . ."
"Thought so."
Luke heard the springs shift as Han sat up in bed. "So, who are you thinking about? Leia?"
"No."
"Oh." Han sounded surprised and --- hopeful? "Who, then? Your buddy Wedge?"
"No!"
"Hmmm. Okay, then, kid. Come on, tell me."
Luke sighed. Was he about to ruin everything? "You," he said, the word coming out as the faintest of whispers.
"Say again?"
Luke took a deep breath. "You," he repeated. "I was thinking about you."
He could almost *hear* the lopsided grin, then Han's face appeared, upside down, as he hung over the side of the bed. "Oh, yeah? Well, move over, kid. I'm coming down."
Obediently, Luke scooted over. He had a feeling his life was about to change yet again.
Archive: If anyone really wants it...
Rating: R
Category: Humor
Disclaimer: George's, not mine.
Feedback: If you really want to.
Summary: A 150 word, first line challenge response. Obi has to make a date in his diary...
"Are you masturbating, Obi-Wan?"
"Fuck, yeah."
"Why?"
"Because, Garen, some twit told me it was required. Got the month wrong."
"Man, you are going to be sore come May."
"No shit. I *tried* to tell my Master, but he's deaf as a post and an old perv who likes to watch."
"That's rough."
"Rough? It's going to be *raw* before long!"
"Want me to get some ointment or something? It's not like the Temple is exactly short on lube."
"Only if you promise to help rub it in...."
"Would that still count as masturbating?"
"Sure! I'll keep diddling, you will just be... assisting a fellow padawan in need."
"Well, I guess that works. Want me to grab anything else while I'm out?"
"Maybe some porn? 'Galactic Asses'? 'Pervy Padawans'?"
"Feeling in need of inspiration?"
"*Inspiration*? After two months of this, I think I'll be feeling in need of a *splint*...."
Archive: Master_Apprentice, my site at http://www.geocities.com/area51/keep/8613/artists.html
Notes: For Emila-Wan's challenge, 150 words, first line: "Are you *masturbating*?"
This is a snippet from the Obi-Wan Kenobi: Jedi Action Hero AU.
Disclaimer: The Boyz aren't mine. More's the pity. This story is for the pleasure of the readers only. I don't make a thing.
"Are you *masturbating*?"
The Chancellor's tone indicated surprise at finding his shy lover in such a provocative position. Benjamin lounged on the couch, holding himself firmly in one hand while studying the comp pad he held in the other.
At his lover's low question, the younger man glanced up in surprise. His face turned every shade of red in the spectrum as he hastily righted his clothing.
"No!" he stammered as Qui-Gon stalked towards him. "I'm preparing for a class."
"What class?" the Chancellor asked as he pulled his lover close.
"Fellatio 101," Benjamin sighed happily. "Master Yoda needs a sub for the class. He asked me to do it."
Qui-Gon froze, his eyes burning. "A sub?"
Benjamin flushed again. "A substitute teacher!"
"And you agreed?" Qui-Gon's voice expressed disbelief.
Benjamin suddenly smirked as he showed his lover the comp
pad. "No, I'm only rewriting the curriculum. Care to
help?"
The End
Archive: Master_Apprentice, my site at http://www.geocities.com/area51/keep/8613/artists.html
Notes: For Emila-Wan's challenge, 150 words, first line: "Are you *masturbating*?" This is a snippet from the Obi-Wan Kenobi: Jedi Action Hero AU.
Disclaimer: The Boyz aren't mine. This story is for the pleasure of the readers only. I don't make a thing.
"Are you *masturbating*?"
The tone was hopeful.
Owen turned a glare on the smirking zabrak in his doorway.
"No, Commander Sarin," he corrected flatly, returning his attention to his lap. "I'm cleaning my lightsaber."
The Primary looked thoughtful. "Is that some Jedi way of saying you're masturbating? Because I'd be happy to assist," the zabrak noted with a leer.
Knight Lars reached out for a cloth on the table before him. "No, Commander, it's a way of saying I'm cleaning my lightsaber."
Disappointed, but realizing the Jedi wasn't likely to respond further, Khamier delivered the message he had brought. "The Chancellor requests your presence."
"I'll be there soon."
"When you're finished with your saber?"
"Yes."
"I'll tell him."
The door slid shut and Owen applied a Force nudge to lock it. Then he leaned back with a groan as he tightened his fingers and came, Khamier's name on his lips.
The End
(Khamier snorts. "Not Bloody Likely.")
Archive: Yes
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rated: R
Written: 2 March 2002
Feedback: All comments welcome.
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. They belong to George. I'm just playing in the tower for a wee bit just for fun, no money involved.
Summary: An answer to Emila-Wan Kenobi's 150-word (premature) masturbation challenge. I think this one is for Master Fishgoat.
"Are you masturbating?!"
"Uh, no. Meesa grooming, okee day?"
"I've seen womprats grooming back home, but they're quiet. Watto used to groom a lot and make noises. Mom always said you should never groom in public. It's not nice."
"Anakin, please help Obi-Wan in the cockpit."
"Yes sir, Master Qui-Gon, sir."
A touch of Force deftly locked the door.
"Help me with *my* grooming, Jar Jar."
The tip of Jar Jar's long tongue moistened anxious lips while the master's leggings were loosened.
"Mahster!"
A blaze of blue energy cut through the galley door and Obi-Wan charged through to find his master on the floor, leggings open exposing his genitals, while Jar Jar cowered over Qui-Gon's body.
"Mahster, I...I thought...you were in distress."
Qui-Gon raised himself on one elbow to look at his padawan. "Really Obi-Wan, over-reacting a bit aren't you? Jar Jar and I were just grooming."
Archive: sure thing
Notes: My very first sojourn into slash other than strictly TPM. It just felt so right. For Emila-Wan's 150 word MoM challenge.
"Are you masturbating?" The little voice in the dark from the next bunk over became even quieter. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business. I apologize, Ben."
Moments of silence filled the cabin the two men shared. Then, an answer.
"It's alright, Luke. This is nothing to be shamed of. I just paid respect to my old Master, that's all."
The younger man leaned onto his elbow, watching his older companion and teacher, sadness coloring his voice.
"You must miss him, a lot." Luke fell silent again.
"Yes, I do. He was the wisest man I've ever known. Stubborn, willful, but so full of love. And. he loved to watch me. And I know he is watching when I pay my respect like this." Ben smiled, then got up from his bunk, dressing and motioning Luke to follow suit.
"Come, you still have much to learn, my young apprentice!"
Archive: If you like
Rating: R
Category: Humour
Feedback: ginseng1ca@yahoo.ca
Disclaimer: George's, not mine <sniffle
Summary: 150 word, first line challenge response. Someone needs motivation.
"Are you masturbating?"
"Yes, Master."
"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I don't mean to be so tired."
"That's ok, Master." <sigh
"It was a really exhausting mission."
"I understand perfectly, Master." <pant
"I'm not usually so useless."
"Don't worry about it Master." <pant, gasp
"This is only the first time this month, Padawan."
"Third, Master." <pant, gasp, moan
"Third!?!"
"Yes, Master." <pant, gasp, moan, groan
"I'm neglecting you!"
"S'ok, Master. It probably won't make me turn to the Darkside." <oooooh
"Wait, Obi-Wan! Look, Little Qui is awake after all!"
"Quick, Master. before he has a relapse!"
<pant, gasp, moan, groan, aaaah, sounds of flesh on flesh
"Ooooh, Master. That was perfect!"
"I think I'm dead."
"Have a nap, Master. They say it has wonderful restorative powers."
"Good-night, Obi-Wan."
"Night, Master."
/smug note to self. guilt has been by far the best motivation yet/
Archive: Yes
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rated: PG
Written: 3 March 2002
Feedback: All comments welcome.
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. They belong to George. I'm just playing in the tower for a wee bit just for fun, no money involved.
Summary: An answer to Emila-Wan Kenobi's 150-word (premature) masturbation challenge.
Note: Master Yogie said, "Lets do some more;)" How could I resist doing another one?
"Are you masturbating?" whispered Qui-Gon.
"No! Lower your voice and help me! I think we can work our way onto the terrace."
The pair wiggled and gyrated against each other across the dance floor, but not unnoticed.
"Isn't that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan dancing?" Depa asked.
"Yes," drawled Mace, "really getting into the spirit of the M'ardi Gras, aren't they?"
Depa giggled as the two squirmed out of sight.
"Obi-Wan! It's going to tear if you keep working it that way!"
"I can't help it! My belt won't work loose! If you could just turn a bit..."
~ rip ~
"Oh ... I am sorry, Master."
"How bad is it? Let me see."
"Oh."
"Oh."
"Perhaps if you use the force to keep it up, no one will notice."
"Not likely," Qui-Gon huffed looking thoroughly debauched. "Just how did your belt buckle get caught in my sequined eyelet dress?"
Archive: M/A and my web site, http://www.sockiipress.org/~rose
Rating: NC-17
Category: Humor
Warnings: Um, squick warning?
Spoilers: None
Feedback: <waves hand slowly in air You WILL send feedback. Ah, come on! You know you want to!
Summary: Sigh. Yet another response to Emila-Wan's damn 150 word, first line challenge! Will they never end?
// x // is mind-speak
// Are you masturbating? //
Qui-Gon glared at Obi-Wan. // Of course not! // He glanced again at the steaming main course. Broiled canvian tongue, the Delphasians called it. The long, tight coil of pale pink meat made him shiver.
It wasn't like he'd *meant* for it to happen. He and Obi-Wan hadn't exactly been on speaking terms, and certainly not fucking. And, Qui-Gon had been so damn *horny* . . .
He remembered the Gungan's long tongue, curled tight around his erection. He could still feel it pressing up inside him, so incredibly deep. The hot breath against his crack, those long ears, wrapped around his hips, tickling, caressing. And, the taste of it, fresh from his anus . . .
He clamped his teeth shut to remain silent as he came. In his mind, he heard his Padawan chuckle.
// Oh, yes. You are *so* not masturbating! //
Are you masturbating, Anakin?
Why would you care, my dear. Since you've been pregnant, you don't try to satisfy me.
Stop being a selfish brat. Doesn't selfishness lead to the Dark Side or something?
Oh, the Queen herself has spoken. I suppose I should just bow my head. Well, I can't. I'm not finished with it yet.
You ARE masturbating.
You're right. And you know what else? I'm thinking about Master Obi-Wan and his nice tight...
Archive: on the M_A website if they actually want it.
Category: Humor, I hope
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: No
Spoilers: No
Summary: response to the first-line challenge that escaped the yoke of word limits
Feedback: would be most appreciated at ms_nawilla@hotmail.com
Notes: Hello, I've been a lurker on the M_A website for awhile, so please pardon any shortcomings; this is the first slash writing that I've posted (though that may not be apparent here).
Suffice to say, I am working on a longer fic that Force-willing will get done that this fits into. (Any feedback would be appreciated and might encourage me to get more of it done, hint hint).;)
Sorry about the number of words. It got away from me.
"Are you masturbating?"
The effect was rather gratifying. Memeris grinned as brushes, hand- cloths and cleanser flew in all directions, followed by a flurry of sneezes as a cloud of dust hit her roommate's face just as he gasped in shock.
"Are you out of your mind?" Smirking, she gave him a coy shrug. "I'm not touching anything!"
"You're a Jedi. You don't have to actually touch it." He crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "Well you do it all the time." He raised an eyebrow. "And you always shut yourself up all alone in the bathroom." His eyes narrowed. "And you do it with such enthusiasm."
"Memeris," Obi-Wan began in the tone his students and diplomatic opponents feared most. "How else would you suggest I clean this bathtub?"
With a shake of her head, Memeris left him to his . . . work. "You need a woman BAD Kenobi. Or a man. Sith, even a -"
"Goodbye Memeris."
A short while later the Force brightened the room like the sun from escaping storm clouds. Obi-Wan smiled and addressed the six-year-old behind him.
"Hello Aeris. Something I can do for you?"
"What's masturbating?"
Obi-Wan froze. Memeris was so going to pay for this.
Summary: My response to the 150 word masturbation challenge.
Notes: Obi-Wan is fourteen in this. Spew warning. Blame Yogie for this. She insisted I write one. (Ducks)
Disclaimer: Lucas owns everything. I make no money from this, yadda, yadda, yadda.
"Are you *masturbating*?"
Qui-Gon's head jerked around and he grimaced. Just what he needed - his young, impressionable Padawan walking in. This was worse than the stares he'd received on the way back to their quarters.
"It's not what it looks like, Obi-Wan," he said, continuing his manipulations. Whoever had slipped this Drevokian bottle-mouth into his leggings while he'd showered after saber practice was *not* going to get away with it.
"Master?" Obi came closer and gasped, getting his first glimpse of It. "Oh, wow! Bruck said it was huge, but I never..."
"Bruck? What exactly did Bruck say?"
"He... um... told me that it...grew... when you touched it," he answered, unable to tear his eyes away. "And that it can even... come off??"
"Force, yes!" Qui-Gon grunted, finally prying the creature off of his penis. His triumph was short-lived, however, when Obi-Wan hit the floor in a dead faint.
Response to the 150 word Challenge: The Merry Month of Masturbation.
Well, it's rather mortifying that *this* is my first post to this list. But after reading all the wonderful stories with lovely, slutty Qui-Gon, I became so happy and inspired that this just popped into my head. Not too original, but I had fun writing it, anyway.
"Are you masturbating?!"
"What? No! I--"
"Get your hands away from there! Did I say you could touch yourself?"
"No, Obi-Wan." Meekly.
"Are you hard? Let me see."
::rustle::
"You *are* hard. But why, I wonder? Was it that whore of an envoy I saw you with at the Council? The one panting over your luscious ass?"
"No! He never--"
"Because you *know*. I. Don't. Share. *This*--belongs to *me*."
*gasp* "Nnnnhhhhhh!! Y-yes, only to you, Obi-Wan."
That warm hand worked up and down roughly on his rigid, aching flesh. Oh, he needed it so badly!
"Surrender any ideas of jerking yourself off today, slut."
Slick, tight friction, pumping faster and faster. Too much! Too fast! No control left--!!
"Now! Let the Force suck *this* up!"
One final, squeezing tug on his cock and Qui-Gon sprayed arcs of come, knees buckling.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Mine!" A sweet caress.
A satisfied sigh. "Always."
Are you masturbating, Padawan Kenobi?
"Excuse me?"
Startled, his jaw dropped, Obi-Wan gazed at the white-robed man. The healer calmly looked into the young man's right ear.
"There's nothing wrong with your ears. I asked you if you have been practicing masturbation, learning to be one with your sensuality."
"I have a lover," Obi-Wan whispered.
"She must be very pleased, since you are physically fit and, I must add, at your peak."
Obi-Wan could not help tensing when he felt the man move behind him and spread his legs a little wider. All at once, the healer's gloved and greased finger slid up inside him. Obi-Wan closed his eyes. Nothing felt quite like the practiced, passionless violation of a healer. Certainly not the fullness he experienced when his Master wrapped him lovingly in strong arms, supporting him, fondling him with his big hands. Even the ruthless passion of the Sith, laughing at the naked and pinioned young man's struggles, was not as cold as this man's impersonal touch.
"You have not yet answered me, Padawan."
"Yesssss," Obi-Wan gasped as the finger was removed. He stood panting, leaning over the examination table, the cold draft from the cooling system shrinking his manhood.
The healer touched his shoulder. "That's all for today."
Obi-Wan breathed a sigh of relief. He dressed quickly and slipped back to the quarters he shared with his Master. He turned on the shower in the fresher. Beneath the jets of hot water he touched himself, erasing the Healer's cold touch.
ARCHIVE: Master_Apprentice, the 150 word challenge page (if you want it) and the Seraph's Glade: http://members.aol.com/ChunTianShi/index.html
PAIRING: Q/O
CATEGORY: Challenge, AU
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: Not a humorous submission for the challenge
SPOILERS: None for the movies. Spoilers for my own stories.
SUMMARY: Three points in time, three times Qui-Gon catches Obi-Wan in the act.
FEEDBACK: That would be nice, on list or off.
DISCLAIMER: (dis KLAM er), n. A denial, disavowal, or renunciation, as of a title, claim, interest, estate, or trust; relinquishment or waiver of an interest or estate. A public disavowal, as of pretensions, claims, opinions, and the like.
NOTES: Three responses to the 150 word challenge. Many thanks to Sar, the word-butcher, who worked hard to get each section under 150 words, and to Ange for the editing help. This story is part of my Mirror universe stories, and might not make as much sense unless you've read them (don't you hate it when people say that?) The first two parts happen before "The Mind's Own Mirror", and the last part happens after that.
Before:
"Are you masturbating?"
Obi-Wan jerked his hands away from his lap. He looked at the floor, trying to stop a tell-tale blush from colouring his cheeks.
"Of course not, Master. I would never shame you in that way."
Qui-Gon took his apprentice's chin in his hand and forced him to meet his eyes.
"Good. I would hate to think that you were risking death, just to satisfy primitive urges."
Obi-Wan felt a wave of relief as Qui-Gon turned away. His master stiffened and turned back, looking at him intensely.
"You will spend the rest of the afternoon meditating on the third precept of the Code. Onto your knees now. I want to hear you say it."
Obi-Wan slid from the chair onto the hard wood floor, his arousal forgotten. He chanted, "There is no passion, there is discipline. There is no passion..."
Qui-Gon nodded and walked away.
In between:
"Are you masturbating?"
Obi-Wan jumped in surprise. Qui-Gon wasn't expected back for another two days. He climbed out of his master's bed, and prostrated himself. Denial would only increase his punishment.
"I plead for your forgiveness. It has been very hard, having you gone." Obi-Wan risked a glance up and a slight smile. "*I* have been very hard, waiting for you."
Qui-Gon crouched down and grabbed Obi-Wan's hair, pulling his head back.
"Do not think you can manipulate me, Obi-Wan. Your body is mine, to do with as *I* please."
He let go of Obi-Wan's hair and stood up.
"Go unpack my bags. We will discuss your punishment later."
Obi-Wan scrambled out of the room, and as the door slid shut behind him, Qui-Gon clenched his fists.
In the safety of his own mind, he whispered, "Obi-Wan, you must learn to obey me. I cannot lose you."
Now:
"Are you masturbating?"
Qui-Gon leaned up on one elbow and peered through the darkness of their cabin.
"Yes I am," Obi-Wan said, his voice tight. "Why do you ask?"
"Force of habit."
The lights came on suddenly. Obi-Wan crossed the narrow space separating their bunks and glared down at Qui-Gon.
"Understand, Qui-Gon Jinn. I will work with you in the Resistance, I will playact the part of the proper Padawan in front of other Jedi, but you do not own my body anymore. I will do as I please. And I please to do this." He slid his hand into his leggings. "Any comments?"
Qui-Gon shook his head, not trusting his voice.
Obi-Wan returned to bed and resumed his activities, louder than before. Qui-Gon pushed himself into a meditative state -- away from the sounds, away from the emptiness inside, away from the ruin that was now his life.
Archive: M_A if you want it, any others, ask. I probably won't say no.
My Home Page: http://www.jediphiles.com
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: These beautiful boys aren't mine, they belong to George. I'm just playing with them for a bit. I promise to put them back when I'm done. Don't sue - I've got no money. I've spent it all on seeing TPM way too many times and buying SW toys and feeding my Liam obsession.
Feedback: Oh yes, please. Good, bad or indifferent. maliwane@netscape.net
Once again, this is Emila's fault. Yet another offering for the NOT Merry Month of MARCH masturbation challenge. 150 words including title and the end.
Are you masturbating?" Qui-Gon whispered through the comlink.
"Yes."
"Tell me about it, Obi-Wan."
"I holding my cock, and I'm hard, Qui-Gon. Hard and aching. I'm squeezing it and moving my hand slowly up and down, the way you touch me when we are together."
Qui-Gon moaned softly, and Obi-Wan had to close his eyes against the needy sound of it.
"Hurry, Obi-Wan. I need to hear you come, love. Force, I need to hear you come."
Obi-Wan gasped loudly, his Master's words fueling the fire now burning in his loins.
"Yes, Qui-Gon, I'm moving faster, squeezing harder, getting close, so close."
"I'm thinking of you buried deep inside of me, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon groaned. "It's good, so good."
"Now!" Obi-Wan whispered hoarsely. "I'm coming now!!"
"Yes!" Qui-Gon growled. "There! Right there! Yes! Yes! Obi-Wan!!"
Though separated by a day's journey, they still managed to
make love together.
The End
Archive: Sure, M_A if you want.
Rating: NC-17
Categories: Q/O, PWP
Series: 'Adventures of Slut!Qui and TalkDirty!Obi'
Challenge: Masturbation 150w
Disclaimer: The boys belong to King George. I'm just letting them masturbate. All Hail the King!
Feedback: Yes, on or off list at quigonjdi1@aol.com
"Are you masturbating?"
"Yes." I look up. He's standing in the doorway, eyes downcast. I know what he's hoping for. "You want to watch, don't you."
"Oh, yes. Please?"
"Strip and stand there." I point to the end of the bed and Qui-Gon does as I command. "Hands behind your back so you're not tempted to touch."
I continue stroking my torrid flesh; his hardening to full length, moisture appearing at the tip.
"You want this, don't you; want to taste it, feel it ramming in that tight ass of yours."
"Yes," he hissed and shivered.
I decide to surprise him this time, reward him for good behaviour. "I'm going to come. Come with me, Qui-Gon."
I push into him with a Force tendril, stroking it against his
prostate. He came with a scream and I followed scant seconds
later, the sight of his pleasure pushing me over.
<the end?>
Archive: Sure, take it and be happy
Notes: Still for Emila-Wan's 150 word MoM challenge. Will it ever stop? Will *I* ever stop? *meg* And thanks to all others who contribute to this madness! I dedicate this to our dear YAPP...;)
"Are you masturbating?" Adi Gallia's voice was barely a whisper as she leaned over towards her fellow councilor, causing Master Yoda to droop his ears dramatically, suppressing a moan.
"Of course, masturbating he is, Adi! Always masturbating he is when sucking his gimer stick like that. Seen it often, I have!" Yaddle looked slightly disgusted, but Adi's attention was back on the center of the Council chamber again.
"Look. They are so beautiful. I think... I will join them..." Adi fell silent and watched Qui-Gon and his Padawan as their bodies writhed, bent and fought for positions during the annual rite of making love in front of the Council. To confirm their Master-Padawan bond before witnesses. To celebrate their union and strength, as custom dictated.
"No! Last year, join them you did. This year, *my* turn it is!" And tossing off his robes, Yoda jumped in to celebrate.
Rating: R-NC17
Summary: Response to Emila-Wan Kenobi's 150-word, first-line "Are you *masterbating*?" challenge.
Feedback: yes, please!
Disclaimers: not mine
*Are you masturbating?*
I quietly questioned to myself, as I stepped into the darkened room. I saw you lying on the bed, your naked body outlined by the moonlight shining through the open window. I couldn't tell if your eyes were open, but I imagined they were closed as you lazily stroked your hand up and down that glorious shaft. I imagined that you were thinking of me as you slid your thumb over the top of the swollen head and spread the glistening drops of silky liquid in small circles. I imagined that it was my tongue gliding across your flesh, tasting you.
You opened your mouth and a sigh escaped. The hot summer breeze carried your voice to my ears.
"OOOoohhhhhhhh..."
The sound was as light as a whisper, but it roared through my head. Calling me. Beckoning me.
Demanding of me everything that I am.
Yours.
Forever.
Archive: Sure, M_A if you want.
Rating: NC-17
Categories: Q/O, PWP
Series: None
Challenge: 150 word
Disclaimer: Just borrowin' the boys!
Feedback: Yes, on-list or privately to Claude and I'll relay
"Are you masturbating?!"
"I don't know. You tell me." Obi-Wan continued stroking himself, challenging Qui-Gon with a look of defiance.
"I've told you before to do this in private", Qui-Gon growled.
Furiously pumping his throbbing cock, Obi-Wan bit his lip against his approaching orgasm, smiling mischievously. He threw back his head, groaning as waves of pleasure boiled beneath the surface, knowing Qui-Gon couldn't look away.
Qui-Gon's groin tightened. Images of his Padawan as fuck-toy flashed through his mind He watched Obi-Wan's body begin to buck against the piston-like rhythm he had set up. Qui-Gon moaned in frustration as sexual hunger enveloped him.
Obi-Wan raised his head despite the building tension, his eyes now lidded. He licked his lips, boring into Qui-Gon with his eyes, commanding his attention. Qui-Gon's resolve melted. He dropped to his knees before Obi-Wan, tongue darting hungrily.
Obi-Wan chuckled to himself, "Yes. I'm Master baiting!"
Archive: Sure, whoever wants it, just ask
Notes: this is written in response to Emila-Wan's 150 words "Are you masturbating" challenge. Have fun!
"Are you masturbating?"
"Yes Obi-Wan, I am." The elder Jedi said, voice strained.
"Why?" The Padawan sounded hurt. They were laying naked in the same bed and his Master was pleasuring himself?!
"Because if I don't Padawan mine, uuunnhhh......" The man let out a shuddering gasp and fell into hushed panting for a moment. "If I don't I might ravish you in your sleep and break about a hundred different rules of the Code. I'm sorry my love, but this is how it must be."
Obi-Wan sighed and turned over. Qui-Gon snuggled closer for a moment and whispered some forbidden endearment before giving his Padawan space. For moment things were still. Then the bed shifted a bit and Qui-Gon looked up from his side at Obi-Wan's trembling back.
"Obi-Wan, are you masturbating?"
Archive: You really sure you want this? Go ahead!
Category: Another PWP with no redeeming social value. Challenge fic,sorta ... now aren't you glad you asked? <g>
Rating: Umm, is there an NC-21? No? NC-17 then.
Warnings: Slut!Qui Gon alert. Beware rogue muses and renegade plot bunnies!
Summary: Peace treaty. Horny Jedi. Hokey alien religion.
Spoilers: After TPM, which Georgie-boy *obviously* didn't get right. You might wanna read "Am I WHAT???!!!" first, it'll make more sense -- maybe ;-)
Feedback: Makes me a happy little Byrdie. Tweet! Tweet!
Disclaimers: GL's toys but they'd rather play here 'cause it's much more fun.
"Are you masturbating again?"
Shamefaced, Qui Gon hung his head. He was supposed to be getting dressed but ... "I just needed to cum," he confessed.
Obi Wan Kenobi leered. "Oh, you will, Kitten." Slipped a gold cock ring onto his beloved. "When I say so. Now into your harness, before we're late."
The Correllian Ambassador's jaw dropped. The Argylli High Potentate drooled. And two thirds of the temple had serious trouble keeping paws, claws and tentacles to themselves. Mace Windu, resplendent in rubies and very little else, disdained the openly lustful stares. Qui Gon Jinn preened, rubbed himself sinuously against his larger mate's bare butt. Both men moaned. A firm tug on their leashes was a reminder from their husband to behave. The N'Hana Pope and her Royal Consort must first couple on the altar, after which the whole congregation -- including three life bonded Jedi -- were free to worship. With whatsoever partners they might find.
Halfway through, Obi Wan seriously considered turning Sith. Nobody'd bat an eye then if he blasted the next bugger caught groping what was clearly his into oblivion. He'd lost count of all the mind whammies. "That's it," he growled. "We're outta here."
"But, the treaty --" Mace argued, even as Qui Gon stroked his cock, squeezed his balls and thrust two fingers into his warm, wet pussy. He started fucking himself on those knowing digits. Being knocked up only added to the pleasure. His dick and clit throbbed furiously with the need to cum. Preferably while having his ass thoroughly plowed.
"Force, yes! Harder!" Qui mentally begged, mouth too full of Mace for speech. Obi Wan obliged, pounding into that wanton little hole. So good! His Kitten -- make that alley cat -- was almost there. Pleading for release with each stroke to his prostate. Spasming wildly through a ninth dry orgasm,triggered by the sudden salty flood down his throat. Milking young Kenobi of yet another hot load. Screaming in ecstasy as both rock-hard cocks impaled him again, cunt and ass, and fucked him senseless. He was so full of semen he'd slosh if he moved. If he *could* move, after such a going over.
Oh bliss! The cock ring, keyed only to his husbands' Force signatures, finally floated off. Jedi Master Qui Gon Jinn, howled, rivaling a Krayt she-dragon in heat as his long-denied prick gushed forth its offering. Then he passed out.
Three standard Coruscant months later the treaty was ratified. Already there was talk of full Republic membership. Her Holiness had been most impressed by the piety -- and stamina -- of the Jedi delegation. The Council was pleased. Only Qui Gon Jinn complained. His back was aching, his ankles were swollen, and his belly was as big as Mace's.
Twins.
THE END?
Archive: M/A
Rating: NC-17 (not really that bad, but just in case)
Category: humour
Warnings: none
Spoilers: none
Feedback: yes, please feed the Padawan!
Disclaimers: Lucas owns everything, that bugger
Summary: well you see, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan...oh I am sure you can figure it out <g>
Notes: my entry in Emila-Wan's lovely MMoM challenge, as um 'premature' as it was.
Thank you to The Rose for the title. Not only is she a wonderful Master, but a great beta
* * is telepathy
*Are you masturbating?*
Qui-Gon jumped, glancing unassumingly at the occupants of the table.
*No, Padawan I am not. Now finish your meal.*
*Yes, Master.*
Obi-Wan pretended to ignore his master's stare as he ate; an idea formed.
Obi-Wan picked up a planna fruit and bit through the skin. His eyes closed as the pulpy flesh hit his tongue. He took slow bites savouring each burst of flavour, licking his juicy lips.
Qui-Gon enraptured by the sight, could not concentrate on the conversation. His hand edged slowly toward his crotch.
Obi-wan was now licking juice off his fingers, slowly cleaning each digit.
Qui-Gon followed each finger as it disappeared inside that tempting mouth, using the Force in place of his hand so as not to arouse suspicion.
Obi-wan smiled as Qui-Gon twitched indicating his climax.
*I believe they do call that masturbating, Master.*
Qui-Gon ignored him as Mace started talking again.
*FIN*
Archive: If you REALLY want it :)
Misc: For the Merry Month of Masturbation challenge. None of these characters are mine, although I love them.
Ok, so I didn't get the first line right, but I was close... *giggle*.
"Masturbating again, are you Padawan?"
Obi-Wan gasped and turned seven shades of red as he stopped his hand motions. Yoda had suddenly appeared beside the garden bench Obi-Wan was currently occupying. He'd come to the temple gardens for some privacy as his master seemed to be constantly lurking around their quarters.
"Many padawans have I seen through this time in their life and seen many things have I," said Yoda as he stood by the bench. "Good it is that you release this `pent-up' energy, but better it is to learn to release it into the Force."
"Besides", chuckled the diminutive master as he turned to leave, "matters not how much you play with it, never bigger than Qui- Gon's will it be."
Archive: master_apprentice
Category: PWP, AU
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none
Spoilers: none
Summary: My response to the Merry Month challenge, though slightly long
Feedback: yes, please, any comments welcome.
*Are you masturbating?*
*Mmm hmm,* a tendril of pleasure coursed over the bond. Obi-wan closed his eyes for a moment.
*Master, now is not a good time for this,* Obi-wan refocused his attention on the viewscreen in front of him.
"Sixty seconds to solar detonation. Please enter coordinates for jump to hyperspace," the soft voice of the computer prompted him.
*I wish these were your hands on me, Obi-wan*
*Master, not now!*
"Is there a problem, Padawan Kenobi?" the stern voice of Mace Windu prompted him to redouble his efforts.
"No, Master Windu ," his fingers fairly flew across the keyboard. He could feel Qui-gon's arousal building, could visualize his master on their bed, his legs sprawled, slightly bent at the knees. He could see those hands stroking up and down his master's hard length, pausing to cup and squeeze his balls.
*Almost there* Qui-gon's lust-filled voice reverberated in his mind.
*Now!* Obi-wan pressed the enter key and leaned back in his seat. Qui-gon's orgasm rippled through their bond and Obi-wan gasped with pleasure.
"Well done, Padawan," Mace praised after reviewing the data Obi-wan had submitted. "You've succeeded in saving the transport and all its occupants."
The lights in the simulator came up as Obi-wan rose to leave.
"Obi-wan?" Mace's voice stopped him in the doorway. "Give your Master my thanks for his assistance in your test today."
"His assistance?" Obi-wan was clearly puzzled.
"Yes," Mace smiled, "We decided that if you could perform complex astronavigation calculations with that kind of... distraction going on, you'd perform quite well in most any situation."
*Master, you are so dead!*