Letters from Camp Dagobah

by Azarad ( azarad@aol.com ) et al

Pairing: Q/O

Category: Pre-slash, humor

Rating: G-PG

Summary: The title says it all

Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. Wish I did...

Feedback: Please

Author's Note: Please fellow list members. Feel free to write additional letters to and from "campers".

Dear Master Yoda,

I'm having a great time at Camp Dagobah. Swimming was very exciting. You know that age mate of mine that you don't like? Yeah, Bruck. Well, he was nearly eaten by a crockaswampgator. I laughed so hard as the thing leaped up at him clinging to the swaying tree branch. Too bad one of the counselors stunned the creature and got him down. Of course, now I kinda miss him. He was always fun in our cabin at bedtime. He could tell some really good stories.

Please let me know if you hear anything from Bant. The girl's camp on the other side of the planet is off-limits until the big dance. Have you been able to find me a Master yet? I really need one soon. If I have to go to camp one more summer, they'll make me a counselor. You know how Camp Director Windu and I feel about one another.

I really love Dagobah, Master Yoda. I can see why you purchased the whole planet. Of course you won't be retiring for a few hundred years. Mind if I use it when I'm a little older? I'd love to go big creature hunting here. So much better for your complexion than one of those bleak desert planets. I'd hate to be stuck on one of them for even a month.

All my love,
Your BEST Student!!!

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Dear Yoda,

This is my final offer. In exchange for getting me out of Camp Craft and Cooking with Fire Duty, I'll take another Padawan, even one of your choosing. All I ask is that you don't make it the Kenobi kid. He's just too straight. Laced, I mean. He can quote every rule in the camper's handbook.

Yeah, I know I was too lenient with Xanatos. But, please don't make me try to train a Boy Scout into someone who can feel the Living Force. They are too rigid, too by the book, too obedient. Give me that Bruck Chun kid. He's got a promising wild streak. And, I will not to turn him to the Dark Side. You have my word on it. Besides, I'm not the first Master to lose a Padawan. Wasn't Count Dooku YOUR Padawan?

Please contact me immediately.

Regards,

Master Qui-Gon Jinn

(Mace Strikes Back)

Dear Yoda,

Hey Master there, how's it goin'?

You know you should really pair up Kenobi with Knight Jinn. Kenobi actually follows the rules; he'd be a good balance for Jinn, we all know how much he follows the Code.

I know Jinn has his eye on Bruck Chun, but we should definitely not let those two get together. I can see the headlines now, "Two Jedi arrested for disturbing the Peace."

Bruck would be a good Padawan for Plo Koon, or maybe Adi Gallia if she doesn t send him off to the Agricorps first. The boy almost got himself into a tangle with a crockswampgator.

Any Force sensitive knows not to play with a crockswampgator, Sith, I never even tried to play with a crockswampgator when I was an Initiate, and that's saying something. Of course, I wasn't on Dagobah when I was an Initiate. Where did you find this place, "Places where no Sith will go?"

I'm a bad ass, but this place even creeps me out. Did I mention it smells like sweaty socks and dirty leggings?

Next time you decide to buy a planet, call me on the comm, I'll find a *nice* planet where people aren't perpetually losing things and moss doesn't grow in your boots.

May the Force be with you

Mace Windu, Bad Ass Extraordinaire

by Di-Ana Wolf - di-ana_wolf@wolfenet.com

(Yoda Puts His Gimer Stick Down)

Ex-Padawan, Dear

Best padawan for you, Obi-Wan Kenobi is. Sensed this I have. Argue with me you will not. Bruck Chun, not too bright. Heard about crockswampgator, I did.

Learn obedience, you must still, pain in the gimer stick, you were.

Too straight-laced, only meant half of that you did.

Seen you eyeing initiate Kenobi, when he walks away, I have. Eyes not level with head, hmm?

Not your business is Count Dooku.

Too old to take to my gimer stick, you are not Qui-Gon

If this does not suit you - To the hand, talk!

May the Force be with you,

Yoda

by Padawan Athena - PegasusMagick17@hotmail.com

(Qui-Gon's Reply)

Yoda,

You are a rude little troll, and we feed you too much!

by Padawan Athena - PegasusMagick17@hotmail.com