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WARNINGS: This series will deal with violence, violation, rape, abuse and the aftermath of those things. There will be disturbing imagery. I have *broken* the toys. But I am also (realistically, I hope) putting them back together again. And thus will attempt to show something of the healing power of love and hope.

I will endeavor to properly warn each part, and while the suffering will be graphic, my intent is that the violence will be by implication/out-of-shot (think Braveheart, the execution scene, where you know what's happening, the suffering is all there, but you don't actually have to *see* anything.)

But if you don't like/are squicked by/cannot cope with this, PLEASE, DO NOT READ IT.

I have it on good authority (Hi, Destina!) that my writing can draw the reader in quite strongly. If you don't want to go where I have gone in writing this, please by kind to yourself, and don't read it.

SPOILERS: There will be lots of spoilers for TPM, the Jedi Apprentice Books (1 and 2 particularly) and JAOA. I will re-warn as appropriate.

CREDIT where credit is due (or, it's not *their* fault!):

--There be series SPOILERS here, as well as mention of squicky things. Read at your own risk.

I've credited Black Rose above, but will credit her here again. This is set in a JAOA-shaped universe, utilizing her timeline. She brought up the idea of mechanical/biomechanical replacement &/or repair of the damage wrought by Maul, and Qui-Gon's insistence that it would be the wrong path for him. She let him have his way. I did not, and in doing so worked out to my own satisfaction that he was right, it was/would have been wrong.

My thanks to Saraid for 'The Grand Dance' where she raises the idea of Qui-Gon having been abused, and deals very sensitively with the issue. Also for 'The Quiet Demons'. I already had the concept of muteness (I've seen 'Suspect') but she invoked it beautifully.

WriteStuff writes gorgeously of the power issues inherent in the Master/Apprentice relationship. I have tried to follow her lead in both sensitivity and accuracy. She also was the first (that I read) to introduce the idea of a similar relationship with Xanatos. In her work it is merely baseless rumor. I took it, ran with it, inverted it & made it real. Not her fault. (Knight Van's PREDATOR!XANATOS in 'Betrayals of Trust' is frighteningly similar parallel development.)

Emu, in a WIP story called 'Shrift' has Obi-Wan remove himself from Qui-Gon's orbit. This excellent tale showed me some of what could happen without the balance he provides for Qui-Gon.

Lots of credit/blame for this story needs to go to Liam Neeson himself, and not just for embodying Master Qui-Gon Jinn with such magnificence. Carl Wayne Anderson in the movie 'Suspect' had a big part in this.

Also - Thank you George Lucas for creating Star Wars in the first place, and Scholastic/Lucas Books for the Jedi Apprentice stories. Keep 'em coming!

Other influences and acknowledgements are owed to: Elizabeth Lynn, for Zed Yago in "The Sardonyx Net." Susan Matthews, for Andrej Koscuisko and the Jurisdiction series of books. Diana Paxson, for Caolin in the Westria books, particularly "Silverhair the Wanderer" and "The Jewel of Fire." Maria Doria Russell, "The Sparrow" and "Children of God." Dorothy Dunnett, for everything she has written, but Lymond in particular.

Ismail Merchant and Pierce Brosnan for 'The Deceivers' the movie, and John Masters for the novel of the same name. This movie is also the source of the Hymn to Kali quoted at the beginning of the story & referenced throughout.

The other underlying image is that of the Wounded King in the Grail/Arthurian mythos. The Parsifal story has the bulk of it. A very interesting take is also found in the Robin Williams film 'The Fisher King'.

(This list could go on & on. I'll stop here.)