CLASSIFICATION: PWP. Angst. First-Time. (I just make it up as I
go along)
WARNINGS: None. Pre TPM.
SUMMARY: Qui-Gon has a brief encounter and Obi-Wan is not happy
about it.
ARCHIVE: Master_Apprentice. Anyone else that wants it, just let
me know.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them. George does. Not making any money.
Yadayadayada. You've heard it all before.
This has not been beta'd so all mistakes are my own.
For Krychick, 'cause she wanted a nice, happy ever after, first
time, PWP with just a dash of angst. Phew! <G>
Obi-Wan was worried. It was unlike his Master to be so late
back, especially when they still had work to do the next
morning. Where could he have gotten to?
Frowning he paced across the room for what seemed like the
hundredth time and glanced out of the window into the darkness
outside. Truthfully he could see no further than the small
circle of light that the window threw out, but that didn't stop
him looking. He kept hoping that every time he did he'd see his
Master walking wearily down the path.
It was bad enough that Qui-Gon had been forced to have dinner
with Senator DeRalz, now she was keeping the Jedi Master out to
the small hours, probably boring him with details about the
political situation they had been sent to oversee. He could
just see the expression on his Master's face now. Composed and
calm, yet his eyes would be betraying his fatigue and apathy
with the woman. Or so Obi-Wan thought.
He could still sense the feedback of emotions across their
training bond. They were more like echoes than true feelings
but if he concentrated he could still feel them. Strangely all
he could sense from his Master was something akin to enjoyment.
It was most puzzling. How could he possibly be enjoying that
irksome woman's company?
Frustrated he sank onto the sofa in the living area and tried
to quiet his mind. His Master was a grown man and was quite
capable of taking care of himself. He was just being polite to
the Senator. That was all.
He steadfastly refused to believe that Qui-Gon could actually
be enjoying her company. He also steadfastly refused to believe
that he would rather be out with her than spending time
in his company.
Obi-Wan was a logical man and neither of these thoughts were
logically, therefore he was quite entitled to ignore them.
No. Anytime now Qui-Gon would walk through the door, exchange
an amused look with his padawan and make a droll comment before
collapsing exhausted into his bed.
Obi-Wan held onto that thought as he finally drifted to sleep.
Qui-Gon crawled home, not literally but almost, just before
dawn. He slipped into the living quarters they had been
assigned as quietly as he could not wanting to disturb Obi-Wan.
He was surprised to find his student sprawled on the couch,
fully clothed.
He stood for a moment, watching the young man sleep before
heading towards his bedroom. Without even bothering to undress
he lowered his body onto the covers and sought the sleep he so
desperately needed.
He was still a little surprised by his actions tonight and his
mind wouldn't immediate switch off as he had hoped for.
Whatever had possessed him to have such a casual affair?
He sighed to himself softly. He knew the answer to that one. He
just didn' t want to admit to it.
It had been clear from the moment that they had met Senator
DeRalz that the woman was attracted to him. Qui-Gon was a
modest man but he wasn't so naive as to not recognise the signs
when he saw them. When she had asked him to join her for dinner
he hadn't been surprised. She wasn't the first to offer him
such hospitality on a mission, but it was the first time
he had accepted so readily.
Dinner had led to drinks. Drinks had led to even more drinks,
this time in her quarters, which had led.....
He didn't want to remember.
Not that she hadn't been willing. In fact she had been the
instigator. He just didn't want to face up to the reason he had
acted so out of character. Except he had to.
'Obi-Wan' he sighed softly.
He had been fighting his attraction to his padawan for a year
or more now and until recently he had thought he was doing
pretty well. So long as he avoided sharing beds or baths with
the young man he had been able to keep his desire under
control.
Had being the operative word. Recently things had been going to
hell in a handbasket.
Just watching his student move recently had been enough to test
his resolve. Did Obi-Wan have any idea of how beautiful he was?
Qui-Gon thought not.
Qui-Gon was pretty sure that when Obi-Wan looked in the mirror
he did not see the same vision that he saw. The startling blue
eyes, athletic muscles wrapped in smooth skin, the teasing
cleft in his chin that Qui-Gon so wanted to run his tongue
down. No. Obi-Wan definitely didn't realise how he affected his
Master.
'Probably just as well,' Qui-Gon thought to himself. 'If he
realised just how much I want kiss every inch of that beautiful
body he'd probably ask to be assigned to a new Master in an
instant.'
Maybe tonight's.....activities......would help. Perhaps the
desire would fade a little now he'd had a release. Even if it
wasn't the release he wanted.
Obi-Wan awoke with a start, disorientated for a moment, before
he realised he was still on the couch. He immediately sat up
straight. Why had his Master not woken him when he had
returned? Had Qui-Gon returned?
Jumping to his feet he rushed to his Master's bedroom, only
allowing himself to breath again when his eyes met the sight of
the older man asleep on top of the covers.
Sensing Obi-Wan's presence Qui-Gon opened his eyes, blinking
furiously to let them adjust to the brightness of the room.
With considerable effort he lifted his head and gazed blearily
at his padawan.
"Good morning Obi-Wan," he greeted, his voice croaky. Surely it
couldn't be day light already. He'd only gone to sleep 5
minutes ago.
Obi-Wan stared at him silently and Qui-Gon thought for a moment
that he was about to get a dressing down from his own student.
Instead Obi-Wan squared his shoulders and pulled himself up to
his full height. "I will prepare breakfast whilst you shower
Master." Was all he said before turning and leaving the room.
Qui-Gon groaned silently to himself. 'Just great old man, now
you've done it.'
True to his word Obi-Wan set about preparing breakfast for them
both. He was still trying to adjust to what he had just
learned. His Master hadn't said a word about where he had been
the night before, he hadn't needed to. Obi-Wan could feel it on
him, could smell it on his clothes. Qui-Gon had slept with
Senator DeRalz.
He was alarmed to find that he was more than a little jealous.
He tried to reason with himself. His Master was a handsome man,
Obi-Wan was more than aware of that, and he possessed a natural
charm. The combination had attracted many people to his Master
over the years. He had just never known him to react to it
before. Why should he think that Qui-Gon didn't have as much
right to an active sex life as he did?
Okay, reason wasn't working.
He just couldn't reconcile the fact that he didn't want his
Master to have slept with that woman. He didn't want his Master
to have slept with anybody except.......
He trailed off, not sure how, or if, he wanted to finish the
sentence. He put down the utensil he was holding and closed his
eyes.
....Me.
There. He'd admitted it. It wasn't so hard, not really.
Then why did he feel so awful?
How long had he been fighting that now? Months? Years? He'd
lost count. All he knew for sure was that he was in love with
his Master and the thought of him becoming intimately involved
with anyone else hurt. Deeply.
Maybe Senator DeRalz was just a casual affair, a brief
encounter. It still opened up a whole new ball game. Would
Obi-Wan be able to handle seeing his Master involved with
someone else? What if the next person his Master shared his bed
with turned out to be more than casual? They were questions
Obi-Wan didn't care to find the answers to.
Trying to push the pain down he finished his task. He wouldn't
let Qui-Gon see how upset he was. He was not going to embarrass
either of them by speaking about this. Not now.
Obviously Qui-Gon did not share his attraction otherwise it
would have been Obi-Wan's bed he was in last night, not a
strangers.
No. He definitely was not going to talk about it. If Qui-Gon
realised the extent of Obi-Wan's desires he'd be shipping him
of to a new Master as soon as they returned to Coruscant.
Was Obi-Wan sulking?
Qui-Gon wasn't sure. The young man had been quiet and withdrawn
all day. He had attended to his duties diligently and had been
pleasant and respectful to the room full of Senators and
diplomats involved in the planetary negotiations, but Qui-Gon
wasn't fooled so easily. Something was troubling his padawan.
It wasn't hard to guess what. He just couldn't figure out why.
Maybe Obi-Wan disapproved of Senator DeRalz for some reason.
Maybe he was disappointed by his Master's lack of control.
Could it be that he had let his student down in some way?
He had tried to catch his students feelings across their bond
but Obi-Wan had shut him out. Whatever was troubling him he
didn't want his Master knowing about it. The very fact that he
had shut him out was enough to alert Qui-Gon that all was not
as it should be.
When he glanced up and caught Obi-Wan studying him thoughtfully
for the tenth time that day he made his mind up to find out
exactly what was going on just as soon as they were alone.
The negotiations went on until late, all sides wanting to
finish up everything on the agenda before the end of the day so
they could all return to their home worlds. Thankfully all went
smoothly and the two Jedi's were required to do no more than
observe.
When they finally returned to their own quarters they were both
feeling the strain. Not from the negotiations, but from
guarding themselves from each other. Neither man was used to
such tension between them.
As soon as they entered Obi-Wan announced that he would make
dinner. Qui-Gon stopped him before he could escape from the
room.
"Obi-Wan, come, sit. We need to talk about this." He had
instructed.
Obi-Wan recognised his Master's tone of voice and stopped in
his tracks. There was no way Qui-Gon was going to let him
escape this conversation.
Obediently he joined his Master in the living area standing
before him, head bowed as a sign of respect, and to enable him
to avoid making eye contact.
"I said sit Obi-Wan. Please..." Qui-Gon couldn't bare to see
the tension in the young man. They had to resolve this and they
had to resolve it now.
"Yes Master," Obi-Wan answered and seated himself in one of the
large armchairs. He didn't trust himself to sit next to his
Master. He folded his arms into the sleeves of his robe and
waited. His Master could force him to have this conversation
but he couldn't force him to be the first to talk.
"What is troubling you padawan? Why have you shut me out."
Qui-Gon tapped his forehead lightly.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath, carefully selecting his words
before speaking. "I did not wish to distract you Master," he
answered truthfully.
"Distract me with what?" Qui-Gon asked patiently. Obi-Wan was
in stubborn mode. Getting the truth out of him was going to be
akin to pulling teeth.
Again the young man paused before answering. "I have some
personal issues that I wished to meditate on. I did not think
it appropriate to burden you whilst you were trying to conduct
such delicate negotiations."
Qui-Gon raised his eyebrow slightly. Delicate negotiations
indeed! There hadn't been any real reason for them to be there
and it certainly had not required the type of intense
concentration Obi-Wan was implying.
"Well we are no longer working so there is no need to worry
about distracting me," he pushed. "I want you to tell me the
truth Obi-Wan."
Blue eyes met his own. "You needn't worry yourself Master, I am
capable of dealing with this myself."
Qui-Gon sat back in his own chair and studied his apprentice
for a long moment. Obi-Wan's gaze never wavered.
"What exactly is it about my sleeping with Senator DeRalz that
has upset you so?" He decided to go for the direct approach.
Qui-Gon was relieved that he had at last got a reaction out of
his padawan when Obi-Wan's eyes widened in shock.
"Is it the Senator herself that you object to, or simply the
fact that I had relations with her?"
Obi-Wan spluttered. He was at a lost for words. How did Qui-Gon
always manage to pin point problems so accurately?
"Your...." he fought for the words to use. "....Personal
relationships are none of my business." He was lying. To
himself if not to his Master.
Qui-Gon watched him again. He could feel Obi-Wan's barriers
slipping. He hadn't been prepared for an out and out attack. It
was the key the Jedi Master needed to break through his
defences completely.
"Some might see it that way Obi-Wan. I however am not so blind.
I am aware that any relationship that effects one of us affects
the other also. Your actions today confirm just that. I have
done something to offend you and I wish to know what it is so
that I can make amends."
"You have not offended me Master," Obi-Wan fairly cried. "And
you have nothing to make amends for I assure you. It is me who
should be apologising to you." Hadn't he vowed to keep this to
himself?
Qui-Gon lent forward, his eyes on the beautiful face staring at
him so intently. "Obi-Wan." He started, not sure that he was
going to be able to stop if he really started to open his
heart.
"You are the most important person in my life. No matter what
the future holds for either of us I want you to understand
that. You have been far more than my padawan. You are my
friend."
He saw something, hope maybe, flicker into Obi-Wan's eyes. "As
you are mine Master." He agreed.
"Then please, Obi-Wan, tell me what has made you shut me out.
Whatever it is I need to know." He voice was pleading but he
didn't care.
"Master...." Obi-Wan's voice came out as a strangled whine and
he dropped his head.
Qui-Gon slipped out of his seat and knelt in front him.
"Obi-Wan tell me."
At last the young man found the strength to raise his head
again and looked into his eyes.
"I love you." He admitted.
Qui-Gon frowned slightly, not sure that he truly understood
what his padawan was saying. His heart constricted with the
hope that he had understood him.
"I love you to Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "No Master, you do not understand. I am
in love with you."
Qui-Gon smiled then, his hope confirmed. "I do understand
Obi-Wan, I know what you mean. I feel it to."
Obi-Wan searched his face, unable to comprehend what he was
hearing. Qui-Gon loved him? It wasn't possible. Was it? Had he
really just said he felt it to?
"You doubt me?" Qui-Gon asked.
Obi-Wan stuttered for a moment before finally giving up trying
to form a coherent word. Seeing that actions rather than words
were called for Qui-Gon lent forwards and brushed his fingers
lightly across the young man's face.
He traced down the line of his cheekbone, across his lips, eyes
devouring the path his fingers followed. Down that teasing
cleft in his chin and finally around the line of his jaw. When
his fingers had finally committed the feel of his face to
memory he lent forward further still; parting his student's
knees to allow him to lean across him.
Obi-Wan watched him, a look between surprise and disbelief in
his eyes. "I see you still need proof," Qui-Gon muttered before
finally touching their lips together.
The kiss was soft, not asking for anything more, allowing
Obi-Wan to accept that it was happening. Finally, with a
shudder, Obi-Wan responded. Reaching up to deepen the kiss, his
mouth opening to Qui-Gon's. Invading his body, letting Qui-Gon
invade his. It was exquisite.
Obi-Wan's arms came up to wrap around Qui-Gon's neck and pull
his body down onto his own. He needed to feel the pressure of
the other man to remind him that this was real and not fantasy.
Qui-Gon let him build the pressure and intensity of the kiss,
losing himself in the building desire within his own body.
Finally however, he drew back from the young man.
Obi-Wan's eyes met his and he smiled at the passion he saw
reflected in them. "Now do you believe me?" Qui-Gon asked.
"Yes," Obi-Wan breathed. "Yes I do. I never realised." His
fingers came up tentatively to touch his Master's face. "Why
did you not tell me?"
Qui-Gon shivered as Obi-Wan's fingers traced across his lips.
He caught one of his fingers between his teeth and sucked it
into his mouth, his tongue exploring it fully before releasing
it. He was rewarded with Obi-Wan closing his eyes and groaning
softly in appreciation.
"I didn't want to push my desires onto you, I had to wait for
you to come to me. I must admit I thought it unlikely that you
ever would." Qui-Gon explained as his eyes devoured the sight
of Obi-Wan's blushing cheeks and pressed a kiss onto the palm
of his hand.
"I want it more than anything," Obi-Wan barely managed to sigh
as his Master 's lips began to taste the flesh of his exposed
neck. He arched his head backwards against the chair inviting
further exploration.
"Then far be it from me to deny you," Qui-Gon retorted, his
eyes full of mischief.
He continued his journey down Obi-Wan's neck, barely kissing
the skin, letting his breath caress him. He was rewarded with
soft moans and murmurs of appreciation.
He kissed his way down the gap at the front of Obi-Wan's tunic
until he could reach no more exposed skin. Unwilling to stop
his voyage he slipped his hands around the young man's waist
and unclasped the belt holding the other layers of his clothes
together. He tossed the belt away, Obi-Wan's lightsaber making
a dull thud as it hit the floor. Neither man paid it any mind.
Large hands pushed the cloth aside, sweeping it down his arms
in one smooth movement, leaving just his under tunic as a
barrier. "Remove it for me my love," Qui-Gon whispered pulling
Obi-Wan from the chair and onto his knees.
Lust filled eyes opened to meet his as Obi-Wan complied. The
clothing was thrown carelessly away as he pulled it over his
head. The sight of his student half naked, skin flushed, eyes
begging for his touch again was almost Qui-Gon's undoing. He
had always known Obi-Wan was beautiful but to see him like this
was going to drive him insane with need.
He swept Obi-Wan into a deep kiss again and trembled as he felt
the young man's hands deftly removing his own robe and tunics.
Moments later they were both naked to the waist, rubbing their
bare skin against one another.
Two pairs of hands explored and teased until they were both
breathless and covered in a fine layer of sweat.
"Shall we take this somewhere more comfortable?" Qui-Gon gasped
as Obi-Wan scrapped his finger nail across the tip of one erect
nipple. The young man immediately bent to kiss the sensitive
skin, soothing it with his warm tongue.
"I think that sounds like a very good idea," Obi-Wan grinned
and jumped to his feet, pulling the older man with him. Qui-Gon
recognised the look in his young lovers eyes. It usually meant
he was about to do something naughty, having it aimed at him
made a shiver run down Qui-Gon's spine.
Somehow they made it to the sleeping quarters and the last of
their clothing was removed quickly, boots and trousers thrown
haphazardly around the room. Finally naked they slipped onto
the bed in a tangle of limbs.
Obi-Wan couldn't keep track of what part of his body was
receiving the most pleasure at any one given point. Qui-Gon's
hands and mouth seemed to be everywhere on his body, devouring
him.
He wanted to conduct explorations of his own but soon gave up
the attempt. Qui-Gon's actions were overwhelming his sense and
he had no choice but to lay back and simply respond. No choice
but to give into the hot waves burning through his body.
Suddenly Qui-Gon was pushing him flat onto his back, his large
body covering the smaller one. He met Obi-Wan's mouth in a
fierce kiss and the young man cried out into the kiss as his
throbbing cock was ground against his lovers.
The pleasure was teetering on the edge of pain such was its
intensity. Qui-Gon kept the top of his body at arms length as
he ground their hips together, his mouth never leaving
Obi-Wan's. He met every urgent thrust from the young man and in
less than a minute Obi-Wan knew he was not going to be able to
contain his orgasm much longer.
Qui-Gon recognised the signs but refused to temper their
lovemaking. He wanted to drive Obi-Wan to this first orgasm,
wanted to prove to the young man that he wanted this to.
Besides he was on the edge himself and he needed his lover with
him when he fell over the edge.
Their orgasms hit at almost the same moment and as Qui-Gon
threw his head back and growled deep within his chest,
Obi-Wan's clasp on the older man's hips tightened until his
knuckles were white with pressure. A sound escaped Obi-Wan's
throat. It was a pure animal instinctual sound of satisfied
pleasure.
Exhausted, Qui-Gon felt the strength in his arms slip away and
he lowered himself down onto the equally exhausted body of his
student. Shifting his weight to one side slightly so as not to
crush his lover he wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's chest,
holding the other man close.
"That," Obi-Wan panted, trying to catch his breath. "Was the
most amazing thing I have ever felt."
He turned his head to capture his Master's gaze and Qui-Gon
lent forward to place a gentle kiss against his bruised lips.
"That, my darling Obi-Wan, was just the beginning."