Master Apprentice Archive Borrowed Time Quick search:

Archive: MA, or please ask me

Category: O/other, Q/O, Angst, Point of View, AU

Rating: R

Warnings: Description of a 17-year-old 'overhearing' m/m sex, and getting worked up about it.

Summary: Obi-Wan loses his master, but finds himself.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to George Lucas. Well, some of them. Some are mine.

Feedback: Yes please.

Note: First attempt at posting something other than a ficlet. Many thanks to my dear Master Cuimne, who helped me all the way through, right from the beginning when this bunny first attacked. Thanks also to Bonny and Dee for the wonderful betas. Huge hugs for all your hard work, you lovely ladies. I owe you.

Chapter One

I knew he was gone the moment I awoke. I felt the raw place in my mind where our bond should be, and the pain was physical as well as psychological. A blinding, searing pain in my head - I heard my cry, "Master!" knowing there would be no answer.

His death must have been sudden; I had no warning, nothing to alert me to any threat. But how could he be in danger? He was in the Temple. No harm could come to him there. Illness then? A sudden medical emergency? Thoughts flashed through my mind as I tried to gain control of my body, to overcome the pain and confusion.

This cannot be happening, I thought, it is impossible. I tried to rise from the seat, the small cockpit spinning around me. But instead I violently emptied the contents of my stomach onto the deck.

I lay back, gasping, tears streaming down my face. Someone was holding me, strong arms around my shoulders. Of course, I would have been broadcasting my distress to every Jedi in the area. I knew I had arrived at the Temple.

"It's alright, be still," the stranger was saying. "What is your name? Who is your master?"

He was trying to soothe me, but the emptiness in my mind was tearing me apart. I could feel him use the Force to try to calm me. Between almost hysterical sobs, I managed to ask, "My master? He is…?" I struggled in his arms - I don't even remember what he looked like, what species he was.

Darkness. I was floating into unconsciousness - no doubt due to the poor Jedi who was trying to help me. Unable to get me to calm down, he sent me to sleep.

I awoke in the infirmary. I was in a bed in a ward, but the other three beds were empty. I saw a human female padawan healer at the foot of my bed, and a short, troll-like Tulgah healer I didn't recognise was standing near me, peering at me with his large eyes.

"How do you feel?" he asked. That aching void inside me was still there. The physical pain which I had awoken to earlier had lessened slightly, and although my head ached as if I had been hit by a stun bolt, and the nausea threatened to overtake me again if I attempted to move my head, I managed to answer him with my own question.

"What happened to my master?" It came out in a whisper, and I could feel the tears begin again. The sympathetic healer placed a clawed hand on my forehead and I felt a wash of healing. The pain eased a little.

"Tell me your name, Padawan, and who your master is." He spoke softly, looking at me intently.

"I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, padawan to Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Please tell me what has happened to him. I cannot feel..." The words shook me. I knew this lack of awareness of him could only mean one thing. The healer shook his head slightly, and removed his hand from my brow.

"I don't understand what has happened to you, but I feel you are telling the truth."

I almost sat up, but the room lost its focus again as I tried.

"Of course I am telling the truth!" I couldn't finish my protest because I was in danger of vomiting again.

"Shhh, Padawan. Rest." I could feel the healer's compassion; he was trying his best to help me but appeared to be confused. "You were in an accident. Do you remember what happened?" asked the healer.

I tried to remember how this all started. Was it only this morning? The chance to pilot the small Epsilon class shuttle by myself had been a real treat for me, even if it was merely to ferry the craft back to the Temple under its sub-light drive. Even though I was now 17, I was still usually accompanied by my master.

I had been preparing to re-enter Coruscant's atmosphere and engage the autonavigator when a light on the console in front of me flashed its warning. I was shocked to see that the hyperdrive was activating, though I hadn't done anything to start the sequence. Due to potentially disastrous consequences, this was forbidden so near the planet's atmosphere and I hurriedly tried to shut it down. The last thing I recalled before waking in the cockpit paralysed with pain was the lurch of the small ship entering hyperspace. But I must have landed at the Temple, exactly as the shuttle had been programmed. If the ship had made an unprogrammed hyperspace jump, I should have ended up – well, anywhere in the galaxy.

"The shuttle. There was a malfunction, I couldn't shut the hyperdrive off."

The healer nodded encouragingly. "Yes. Go on."

"It made the jump. But I ended up back here at the Temple. I don't understand."

"That's all you remember?" he asked me. "Your ship wasn't damaged, as far as I am aware. You landed normally, but you were not well when you were found."

Not well! "My master. Please tell me what happened – I can't feel the bond."

The healer shook his head sadly. "I'll try to find out what I can. You need to rest for the time being. Do you need help to sleep?"

I shook my head. No, I needed to think rather than sleep at that moment. After checking me over again, the healer pulled the thin thermal blanket up to my chin. "Padawan Stada is in the next room if you need anything." He lowered the lighting to a gentle glow and left me to my thoughts.

I closed my eyes, stretching out with my Force sense for any sign of my master's presence. Once more, I felt nothing of him.

"Master, where are you?" I whispered, and felt the pain in my chest as I acknowledged the truth behind the missing bond.

We were due to leave for a mission early the next morning. My muddled, aching mind could not remember any details - where were we going? Why? I did remember packing our travel bags. Hot. My master had said it would be hot, and had laughed and said we would not need our warm cloaks. We had only recently returned from a research mission to the libraries of Obroa-Skai, and I had been mildly reprimanded for complaining about the cold. The pain of loss grew in me as I remembered Qui-Gon talking to me sternly, but never losing that affectionate glint in his eye. Afterwards, he had pulled me close and hugged me, his huge hands rubbing at my back to warm me. He heard my apology although it was muffled, my face pressing into his chest.

I sobbed, despite my efforts not to – how could he be gone? I loved him so much. I never needed to tell him, he knew. As I knew how much he loved me. How could we not know? We were so tightly bonded together; we always knew what the other was feeling. It was our unspoken agreement that we would further pursue our relationship when I was older - after my knighthood.

But that beautiful dream was lost to me now. I nearly broke down again but the thought of my master's disappointment stopped me from sinking further into despair. What would he say if he could see me like this? I certainly was no credit to him in such a state, and I made a concerted effort to pull myself together.

"Sorry, Master," I whispered, wondering for the first time if the teachings we had received about becoming one with the Force after death were true. Could he see me; was he aware of me? I found it hard to believe, because the bond was gone completely.

Left alone in the ward, my internal awareness of the time told me it was early morning. It had been evening when I was returning in the shuttle. I remember because I had planned to retire early so as to be fresh for our mission in the morning. But now I felt exhausted. I dozed for a short time.

On waking, I raised myself up to look around me, this time steeling myself against the expected nausea. The attentive padawan healer poked her head around the open door.

"Please lie still. I will fetch my master," she said and I was glad to comply. I wondered how long this headache would be with me, and if it was a normal consequence of losing a bond. Don't think about that, I told myself sternly, forcefully pushing back the emotions that threatened to turn me into a sobbing wreck again.

The healer soon reappeared with his padawan and looked pleased to see me lying quietly.

"You look much better this morning, Padawan. How do you feel?"

"My head hurts," I answered, and my voice shook a little.

He examined me briefly, and put his hand again on my forehead, standing with his eyes closed for a few seconds.

He spoke sympathetically, "You have suffered a trauma. Your bond has been ... lost."

I swallowed hard and tried to remain calm. "What does that mean? My master ... "

The healer pulled up a chair near the bed and sat down, taking one of my hands in his claw-like ones.

"Tell me again, Padawan. Who is your master, and what is your name?"

"My master is Qui-Gon Jinn and I am Obi-Wan Kenobi."

His wide eyes narrowed and he shook his head slightly.

"You are confused I am afraid. I know you believe what you are telling me, but what you say is impossible."

Impossible? How could I not be who I am? He was the one who was confused. But I didn't understand why he didn't believe me. He knew I was Jedi and not some impostor. Any one of us is able to recognise a fellow Jedi from the currents in the Force.

He moved away from me to talk to the padawan healer who had been listening to the exchange in silence. The healer spoke quietly and I distinctly heard my name in his soft words. The padawan nodded and left the ward.

The healer spoke again. "What would you say if I told you that Obi-Wan Kenobi is a mature Jedi master with a padawan of his own, and is here in the Temple?"

He studied my reactions carefully. I smiled at first, thinking it was a joke. But his expression didn't change: his eyes were narrow and he watched me closely. I briefly wondered if there could be another Jedi with the same name, but that remarkable coincidence would have been known to me and everyone else. A master? The headache was pounding behind my eyes now, and I felt that if I moved I would once more succumb to the sickness growing inside me.

I hardly dared ask. "And my master? Master Jinn?"

"Master Qui-Gon Jinn died over ten years ago."

Chapter Two

I was so tired from the relentless questioning. I knew Healer Herput, as the Tulgah had introduced himself, was only trying to help me. But his persistent interrogation was becoming wearing.

"How old are you?"

"When were you born?"

"What year do you think it is now?"

"What is your name?"

Over and over again. I answered each time, beginning to wonder if he was trying to trick me. But he didn't think I was lying, he explained, he was merely trying to find out what had happened to me. I think he believed I was insane.

I closed my eyes and slumped down in the bed, wishing to sleep and wake again out of this nightmare.

Herput spoke sadly. "I am sorry to have to keep grilling you, Padawan, but it is important ... "

He was interrupted when his padawan entered the room and waited to speak to him.

"Yes, Stada?"

She seemed uncertain. She was younger than I, and looked at me with large eyes as she spoke. "He is here, Master. In the waiting room."

The healer rose from his chair by my bed.

"Ah, thank you," he said, before turning back to me. "Excuse me, Padawan, I will return shortly."

They both left. Obi-Wan, I wanted to scream. My name is Obi-Wan. I did close my eyes at last, and pushed my fists into the sockets in an attempt to rub the headache away. I only succeeded in producing flashing lights in my vision. I made a real effort at the relaxation techniques I had been schooled in all my life. By the crèche masters. By my master.

Although he healer was not away long, I had started to drift again towards sleep. I opened my eyes at his gentle voice.

"There is someone I would like you to meet, Padawan."

He had returned with another Jedi, who was staring at me intently, his grey eyes curious. The bearded man had light red hair, long, to his shoulders, and about the same colouring as mine. In fact his eyes were the same as mine. I remembered Herput's strange statement about another Jedi with my name, and wondered how we were related. Because it was obvious we had a family resemblance.

"I am pleased to meet you, young man. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi."

I opened my mouth to speak, and then closed it again. My mind had gone completely blank, and I could only stare into his grey - no they were green - eyes, wondering if he was seeing the same thing I was. It felt as if I was looking through a mirror, distorted by time. Myself, older, his keen stare changing from challenging to wonderment as he looked at me. His hand reached to my braid, fingering the yellow tie holding it. He spoke again, but his voice had changed, softened. "You are ... It can't be. Who are you, boy?"

But the Force was speaking, too. To us both. I could feel it swirling about us, and I recognised his signature aura. It was the same as mine, almost, apart from small differences. And those empty, painful places in my head and my heart were suddenly gone. I could see the surprise, shock even, in his expression as he became aware of it at the same time as me. A bond, filling the void left where the old one was torn from me, sprang into being between us. I struggled to make sense of it. A training bond? But this Jedi has a padawan already, the healer had told me. It was impossible for a second bond to be formed.

The wonderful healing I felt was nothing compared to what I sensed from the man in front of me. I had been suffering a physical and psychological pain from my lost bond for only a few hours; I knew now that he had been carrying a pain within him for a long, long time. True, the initial raw agony had faded eventually, but he had a deep emptiness inside him which the later bond with his own padawan had not diminished. In fact, there was hardly a bond at all between him and his apprentice - certainly nothing like that I had shared with Qui-Gon.

Once more, my lost master came to mind and the tightness in my chest and throat returned at the thought of that bereavement. But I knew what I was feeling was a normal grief for the loss of a beloved, not the soul-tearing pain I was experiencing before.

The man who called himself Obi-Wan took my hand, and asked me again, "Who are you?" This time his voice was merely a whisper. But he knew. He recognised the confused boy in the infirmary bed, at the same time I truly saw him - or me.

"I think you know," I answered, gripping his hand in return. "I'm Obi-Wan. I don't understand ... How can I be me but you are me too. A bond - I feel it, and you do too."

I became aware that the healer had been watching this exchange with great interest, and now he put his hand on the man's shoulder.

"There is only one explanation for the appearance of this boy who not only looks like you, Master Obi-Wan, but also is remarkably similar biologically. He is a clone. And the Council must be informed."

Master Obi-Wan - as I found myself thinking of him - shook his head.

"I don't think so, Master Healer. I feel ... something different. It is as if he is a younger version of me."

"That is correct. He is a younger version of you - he is a clone of you. How this can have happened will be a matter of great concern to the Council, and I am going to contact them immediately." He spoke again to me. "I will need to check you over again, young man, but I think you are much better. Am I right?"

"Yes, I think I am. I feel well."

"Even so, it would be best if you stayed here in the infirmary for now. I will return soon."

But as he moved to leave, Master Obi-Wan objected. "No. He will be staying with me. My padawan is away at the moment; he can use Anakin's room for a short while. After than, we will make other arrangements." Then he added, "Would that be acceptable - Ben?"

I blinked, and then smiled at his use of the old crèche nickname. I supposed it would make things simpler than if we both went by the same name.

"Of course, Master." The title was an honorific used for any Jedi master, but it felt strange for me to call him that.

After the healer left us alone, I asked Master Obi-Wan, "You do believe me, don't you? You do understand who I am?"

He nodded slowly.

Chapter Three

I followed Master Obi-Wan back to my quarters - or his quarters. This was going to be very complicated. I walked with the hood of my cloak pulled low. It was unlikely that anyone would recognise me, but I didn't feel up to facing the curious stares as passing Jedi wondered at the master's companion. The healer had kept me in the infirmary for the rest of the day, insisting that he carry out a full range of tests before allowing me to leave with Master Obi-Wan. He had found no physical ailment, just the side effects of a sudden severed bond, which I had recovered from with remarkable speed. He gave no indication of the result of his report to the Council regarding my arrival.

I watched the master in front of me as I walked. He was a little taller than me – I hadn't finished growing, I realised – but not much. I think I'd known for a long time that I would never be as tall as my master. And on the way, I realised I was walking at his side and a pace behind, as though he was my master.

He felt my surge of grief, and turned to look at me.

"Forgive me, Ben, but I am not used to having such … an intimate bond. No, not for a long time. I find I am conscious of your feelings."

"Will you tell me what happened to him?" I asked, but he sadly shook his head.

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

We soon reached our destination. I hesitated outside as he opened the door and entered. I wasn't at all sure how I was going to feel about my quarters being used by another padawan.

Master Obi-Wan smiled and gestured for me to enter.

I went into my quarters. No, his quarters. Everything was very similar to how it was when I left - but then, all the quarters in the Temple were similar. Most Jedi did not have many possessions, so the room had a simple, almost humble, feel.

But there on the desk by the wall, along side the strange-looking com terminal, was the smooth piece of ch'hala wood I had given Qui-Gon on my return from a padawan training exercise when I was 14. It was the first time we had been apart for any length of time since he took me on, and I had missed him fiercely. I remembered the pleasure in his eyes when I pushed it into his hands, feeling a little silly and worrying that he would think I was being foolish presenting him with such a worthless token. But he had taken the twisted wood in his hands and had run his fingers over its curves, and he had smiled at me warmly and told me he was touched that I had thought to bring him something.

Master Obi-Wan saw where I was staring and moved to pick up the memento, his hands moving over it, feeling its smooth surface.

"It has almost lost its scent now," he said, and I had to swallow hard and turn my head away.

He was already moving towards the door before the chime announced the arrival of a visitor. Of course, he must have been aware of Master Yoda's presence well before he arrived at our quarters, and welcomed him into the room.

"A visitor you have, I am told, Master Obi-Wan." The old master looked exactly the same as when I last saw him. Yesterday. Years ago. "Formed a new bond you have, hmm? And with a clone of yourself?"

"I am not a clone, Master Yoda. Don't you remember me? We were talking yesterday when you came to visit my master. I made you tea, but you didn't drink it. You said I hadn't yet learnt how to make it properly."

Master Obi-Wan smiled. "Yes, it did take me a long time to master that fine art. You always were fussy about your tea, Master Yoda."

We moved to sit, and I was closely inspected by the little old master. "Strange, this is. Feel like young Obi-Wan, you do. Have the same force aura, a clone would not. The same history you share. But how can you be here, in this time, hmm? And speaking of tea, lacking are your manners, Master Obi-Wan."

"Forgive me, Master." The knight rose and bowed, and began preparing the ritual drink in the kitchen area.

"I don't know how I got here, Master Yoda. I was in the ship, something went wrong and I woke up here," I said.

"Remember nothing about the journey, do you? Nothing that would cause this ... transfer?"

I shook my head, and some of the desperation that had been kept at bay by the everyday surroundings and incidents began to creep back. Master Obi-Wan of course could feel it, and returned with the tea things. He also brought food - some of the cakes that Master Yoda was fond of, and some bread and mujafruit jam.

"Ben is staying with me for the moment. He needs some stability just now. And he must be hungry, yes?" he asked.

I hadn't eaten since before I boarded the shuttle, refusing the offer of food in the infirmary because of the delicate state of my stomach. I hadn't realised until now how hungry I was.

"Thank you, yes I am. I didn't feel like eating earlier."

He passed the food and said, "When you have eaten, you should go to bed. It has been a difficult day for you, and it is quite late now."

I noticed that he also took some of the bread and jam. Well, we were bound to like the same things, I supposed. Yoda ate his cakes in silence, waiting for the tea to brew to his exact requirements.

I stopped eating. Although I hadn't eaten much, my stomach was rebelling again and I found I couldn't finish the bread on my plate. I got up and went to the door of my room - the padawan room. I stood in the entrance, the door open, feeling both sets of eyes on me. There were bits of electrical and mechanical equipment on the desk surface and on the chair, and some on the floor. I recognised some of them as droid parts, or sections of engines, but most of it was a mystery. It looked like scrap.

"My padawan has a hobby, as you can see," Master Obi-Wan said ruefully. "He insists on fixing things. Even if they were not broken."

I mumbled something about how useful that must be, but I didn't understand why a Jedi would want to fill his living space with so much - junk.

"How old is your padawan, Master?" I asked.

"Anakin is 19. He is presently escorting a senator back to her home planet."

I was surprised that the padawan was so old. It was unusual for a newly knighted Jedi to take an apprentice so soon. I wondered how old Master Obi-Wan was, and how old he had been when he was knighted. When I would be knighted. My brain wouldn't do the calculation, and I gave up. I just knew he seemed awfully young to have a 19 year-old padawan.

Master Yoda could see the tiredness, and slipped from his seat to shoo me into the fresher.

"Sleep now, you must. Ben, he called you." He cackled quietly. "Yes, Ben. Off to bed with you. Speak to Master Obi-Wan, I must."

By the time I was in bed, I could make out their low conversation. It became a pleasant hum, as I drifted off to sleep in the bed that was mine, but wasn't really.

I lay awake in my bed, staring into blackness. I had been dreaming: a muddled, alarming dream where my master was walking away from me but wouldn't or couldn't hear me calling him to stay. Someone was dragging me away in the opposite direction, and I had been trying to loosen their grip on me to run to Qui-Gon. I was almost as confused when I woke. Instead of the usual reassurance of normality that follows dream fears, I remembered the previous day and how my world had turned upside down. Or at least moved forward at an alarming rate. At first, I had hoped that those memories were part of my dreams, but the bond with Qui-Gon was gone and instead there was the new, incredible bond with Master Obi-Wan.

This was my bed, my room, yet they weren't. Refusing to allow the sorrow back, I tentatively felt the new bond in my mind. I became aware that Master Obi-Wan was in a light meditative trance, but he soon knew that I was awake.

He appeared at the door to the room. "I could help you sleep if you wish," he said quietly.

"No, I will be alright, Master." But he heard the pain in my voice and moved to sit on the side of the bed, and reached to hold me while the tears flowed and I shook with sobs. He did put me to sleep, and I knew nothing until the automatic lighting came on at Coruscant's dawn.

Master Obi-Wan had already left when I came out of my room and began searching for something for firstmeal. I wondered when I had become an early riser. But I knew he wasn't far away; he was a bright presence in my mind.

He returned as I was eating a bowl of grains and milk, and I offered him some.

"Thank you," and I could almost hear the "Padawan" that nearly slipped out. "I enjoy the meadow garden early in the morning," he continued, to explain his absence. "Usually, it is quiet. I find it ... peaceful."

I nodded in agreement, but was a little surprised. In truth, I always enjoyed meditating in the fountain garden - it seemed so full of life and the Force. My master and I often ... Oh, of course. A reminder of what he had lost. His eyes caught mine as the understanding dawned, and he smiled a little.

"You probably heard me speaking with Master Yoda at length last night," he said, changing the subject. "We were discussing what is to happen while you are here."

"Does Master Yoda think I will be able to return home?" I asked.

"Master Yoda and others are giving that matter a lot of consideration, be sure," he answered. "Think. For me to be here must imply that you grew up in the right time and place. But I have no memories of what is happening to you, so it remains a paradox. At the moment, we have no idea how long you will be here, but in the meantime, we need a name for you. I am sorry, but the situation is complex - if we both have the same name, questions will be asked. Would the name Ben TeJinn be acceptable?"

I nodded. Of course. Belonging to Jinn.

"I had intended to take his name on our bonding, but..." He hurried on. "Your master is a teacher at the Dantooine study centre, and has been sent away on a long-term undercover mission, so you have been sent here for a time to continue your studies. You are not at liberty to discuss your master or his mission."

Everyone would understand that and respect it; no one would want to compromise the security of a Jedi in the field.

"Master Yoda insists that you have as little contact with others, especially with those who knew you - who knew me when I was younger - as possible, so I will arrange for you to continue your studies here, using the comm terminal." He saw my forlorn expression. "Don't worry, we will be able to get out some time, and you need to continue physical training. I will arrange sparring sessions, but it will have to be at quiet times."

"I understand, Master." This was a difficult situation for him too, of course, and I felt guilt at being the cause of this.

He read me straight away. "None of this is your fault, Ben. We will make the best of it."

Chapter Four

My studies were interrupted by the door chime. I was grateful for the break; the room was silent - Master Obi-Wan was busy with reports of his own and I was beginning to feel drowsy staring at my latest chapter on Fundamentals of Republic Law on the data screen. Being confined to the rooms of our quarters was dull, and I longed for some exercise.

Master Obi-Wan went to the door and I could hear him talking to a woman.

"Hello, Kenobi." Her voice was very familiar. "I brought your Valeriin poetry back. I did promise I wouldn't keep it long, so I thought I would drop it off while I was passing."

He thanked her, and I could feel the embarrassed silence as she waited for him to invite her inside.

"Was there anything else, Siri?" he asked. Siri! Yes, it was her voice, but different.

"Oh come on, Kenobi! You know very well you are the top gossip subject this week. I know you have the mystery padawan in there - aren't you going to introduce us?"

I peered up from my desk to try to get a look at her, but could only see the top of her head over Master Obi-Wan's shoulder. Blonde hair, but grown longer, and fastened up on her head.

After another moment, Master Obi-Wan laughed a little and showed her in.

"You don't normally wait to be asked, Siri," he said as she entered and looked at me.

"Hello, young man," she began, then her eyes widened. "I am sure we have met before. What is your name?"

"Siri Tachi, this is Ben TeJinn," Master Obi-Wan introduced us, "and you haven't met before. Ben has spent almost all his life on Dantooine."

I nodded. "That's right, I have only been to Coruscant a few times, Master Tachi." The sound of my voice obviously also struck a chord with her, and she frowned.

"That is strange. You seem very familiar. Perhaps I saw you on one of your infrequent visits, then." She turned then to Master Obi-Wan. "You know, you two look very much alike - you could be relatives."

"You're not the first one to notice that, Siri," he said. "It is possible." He was right, we know nothing of our families so it was not outside the realms of possibility that two Jedi could come from the same family and not be aware of it.

"You could be cousins. Or brothers," she went on, but thankfully changed the subject. "So tell me, Kenobi, how you come to have an extra padawan. It's not like you to take in waifs and strays like your old master."

That remark hurt him, I could feel it. She didn't seem to realise, for she ploughed on, "I would have thought one padawan was enough for anyone," and she took his arm and pulled him close as she spoke.

"Ben's master is an old friend. I promised to keep an eye on the boy while he is away." He explained about my fictitious master's mission, and offered her refreshment, as he inconspicuously removed her hand from his arm and stepped back slightly.

"Tea would be lovely, thank you." Again she closed the gap between them.

"I'll get it, Master," I said, going to the kitchen while they sat together on the couch. Very close together. She's practically sitting in his lap, I thought as I left them. I couldn't help grinning as I made tea and took out some biscuits - Siri, who contradicted everything I ever said, fought with me whenever she could, was flirting outrageously with my older self. I had no aversion to romantic relationships, of course. I had believed that I would have such a relationship with my master. But with Siri? I shook my head in disbelief.

"But where is he going to stay when your padawan comes home?" she asked him. I listened carefully, for I had been wondering the same thing. "You can't have him bunking down with the Chosen One, now, can you?"

What was that supposed to mean?

"He can sleep on the couch. Or I will. It doesn't matter; we'll manage. And Siri, please don't call Anakin that." Master Obi-Wan had dropped his voice. "It is not... helpful."

I returned with the tray, and Siri fussed over him. I found myself staring wide-eyed. This was a very different side to her. But the persistent Siri I knew was still there - she ignored his attempts to prevent her invasion of his personal space and valiantly continued her assault with touches and gestures.

After she had left, saying goodbye to me and kissing him on the cheek in a not at all sibling manner, he flopped back down on the couch and sighed, running a hand through his hair.

He saw the stunned expression on my face, and laughed. "She just won't take 'no' for an answer. Of course, we didn't always get on so well."

I also laughed, and asked, "When did she change? She couldn't stand me the last time I saw her."

His usual serious expression returned. "After... after Qui-Gon died. She was only trying to help me, at first. We didn't see each other very often, of course. I was training Anakin, and she was away most of the time. I think..." he stopped and looked acutely embarrassed. "I think over time she fell in love with me."

"Yuck," was my reaction. And it made him laugh again.

If the meeting with Siri had made me believe that Master Obi-Wan had no interest in a relationship, I was dissuaded from this the night after. I heard the door chime after I had gone to bed, and was undressing. I didn't recognise the male voice, but heard him welcomed in and the door close. Curiosity got the better of me, and I slipped my tunic back on to return to the living room.

"I left my.... Oh, sorry, Master." I grabbed a datapad from the desk and sneaked a look at the visitor. Not very tall, dark and bearded, his long hair swept his shoulders in a rather - for a Jedi - unkempt way.

Master Obi-Wan glared at me. I wasn't fooling him for a moment.

"I thought your padawan was away, Obi," the other man said. He smiled at me, then his expression changed. I recognised that look, the one that said "don't I know you?" But instead he introduced himself. "Den-Roy Lssar. I've been away a long time - don't tell me Anakin has already been knighted." He turned to Master Obi-Wan before I could answer. "So who's your new house guest, Obi?"

"This is Ben." He explained to the visitor why I was there, and I got the impression that he would have preferred it if I had stayed out of sight. "And you were going to bed," he added pointedly.

Wishing them a sheepish goodnight, I left them.

I could hardly hear their voices even though I was straining my senses, which meant that they were deliberately keeping quiet. Excluding me. Well, I shouldn't begrudge Master Obi-Wan the consolation of friendship; even if it was with someone I hadn't met yet - someone from my later life. I lay on the bed and quietened my mind in preparation for sleep. I heard the door to the master's bedroom open and close, but I hadn't heard Knight Lssar leave. Jumping to the obvious conclusion, outraged betrayal welled up in me - how could he! Qui-Gon was the only one I loved; the only one I would ever love. The thought of my older self making love to someone else, a replacement, hurt me so much. But I was also ashamed of such negative emotions, and flopped back to concentrate on releasing them in the scant hope that Master Obi-Wan had not become aware of them.

Anyway, perhaps I was jumping to conclusions. No, I thought as a warm flush came over me, the wonderful heat of arousal that made me stretch out on the bed and groan. My hand automatically slipped inside my sleep pants to stroke myself gently.

These feelings were coming directly through the bond, and I recognised how infantile my initial reaction had been. How could I expect Master Obi-Wan to live without the comfort of physical love? Through our shared feelings, I knew that these two were not in love, but had a deep friendship that enabled them to give this pleasure to each other. He must have been unaware that these emotions were escaping to me, caught up in the moment with his lover. I knew I should be feeling guilt at my inadvertent eavesdropping, but my body's response to the sensual input was overwhelming.

I was breathing hard now, desperate to be part of that shared pleasure - giving and receiving kisses, touches, stroking over the planes of a strong, mature chest and stomach, hands entangling in long hair, lips brushing against bearded cheeks. The building arousal was becoming too much for me, and taking my erection in my hand I came suddenly. Well, I was an inexperienced virgin, apart from my own touches and infrequent fumblings with a few of my friends. I had never experienced such erotic stimuli - feelings and images flooding my mind, the two lovers were tangled together, touching everywhere, tasting each other - so I was soon hard again, achingly hard.

I let my hands roam my body in imitation of the caresses that my other, older self was feeling, but my own touch could never be enough to compare with the intense pleasure he was sending inadvertently to me. Kicking away the sheets and tugging my sleep clothes off, I felt the first gentle penetration, which had me arching off the bed in pleasure. My own body responded to the delicious intrusion which was becoming deeper, harder, I felt the stretching, my hips were bucking and my hand again pumping myself, felt the other body pounding, into me, holding me in a tight embrace, driving into me, heard the pleading, didn't know if it was mine or his, and I came again so hard I could hardly breathe.

I lay panting for a while, sweat-covered in the wreck of my bed. I knew I would have to gather the sheets back or I would awake later feeling cold. As I moved to pull my pants back on, I felt the loneliness. It wasn't mine, though I was wishing I had a warm body to sleep against after such an intense experience. Master Obi-Wan was with his lover, but he was feeling more alone than I. Not many minutes later, his bedroom door opened and closed again, and I heard the knight leave.

I lay awake for a time, expecting to fall asleep quickly. Instead, I was unable to calm my thoughts even though my body was exhausted. I knew Master Obi-Wan was also still awake, and although his surface feelings seemed calm I could sense the much deeper pain. I slipped from my bed and went to his room.

Standing in his doorway without the light on, I could make out the dark shape of the bed.

"Sorry, Ben," he whispered. "Didn't mean to disturb you."

"What's wrong, Master?"

He was silent for a while, surprised, and abashed. "Forgive me. The bond… it's been a long time. I am not used to such… closeness with another. I should have been aware that we were affecting you. I promise to work at shielding my emotions in future. Perhaps we should do that together." Another silence. "Den-Roy is a good friend, but..."

Not sure if I would be welcome, I moved towards him.

"It's not enough," I said.

Now that I was closer, I could see his face in the darkness as he shook his head. He held his arms out and I went to him. We held each other in the night, and the loneliness lessened.

Chapter Five

The next few days I spent sequestered in our small quarters, with only occasional breaks for exercise in the more secluded gardens, and one memorable sparring session quite late at night with Master Obi-Wan. I had complained that people would wonder why I wasn't in circulation in the Temple, now that most people knew I was there. Master Obi-Wan and Yoda between them had passed on the explanation that I hadn't yet been inoculated against the usual range of infectious agents on Coruscant and so I was being kept apart for my own protection.

But Master Obi-Wan knew how restless I had become, and so arranged for the use of a training room when the area would be quiet and private.

Surprisingly, we were quite different in our approaches to the bout. Of course, he was much more proficient than I, his extra abilities evident in the control of his body and of the Force. That was to be expected, although he did make allowances for my relative inexperience. His fighting style was completely different to mine. Where he used tight, defensive manoeuvres, his movements closed and protective, I leaped into my usual acrobatic form. I found his defences impossible to get through.

As he flew round, lightsabre flying in an arc above his head followed by a low attack that I barely blocked, realisation came to me. Something had made him change how he fought. He took advantage of my lack of concentration, and scored a mark across the shoulder of my tunic before I turned to repel the new assault. The hilt of his sabre caught my chin, sending me reeling backwards undefended as he brought the powered-down weapon straight to my heart.

Both breathless, we saluted one another and I spoke first before he had time to check if I had suffered injury.

"Please, Master Obi-Wan. Tell me how he died." I didn't need to explain.

But he shook his head. Wiping his sleeve across his brow, he merely said to me, "Remember that move. Now, let's do something about that bruise."

I hadn't been aware of the pain until that moment, but then I felt along my jaw. It must have already started to change colour judging from the tenderness with which he reached out and touched my chin. I felt soothing Force healing as he lightly held my face.

Then he smiled. "You fought very well, Ben."

We walked together through the quiet Temple corridors. I no longer pulled the hood of my robe up to cover my face, but I was nevertheless glad that we met no one on our way back to our quarters. I realised I still unconsciously kept to the habit of walking in the padawan's place a little behind the master, when he put an arm round my shoulders and pulled me level with him.

"Not my padawan, Ben," he laughed as I smiled up at him and we continued on our way. He seemed more relaxed than he had up to now - oh, he was always the calm master, but I felt a lessening of his underlying melancholy and was glad to think my presence could be having a positive effect.

A message was waiting for Master Obi-Wan when we returned. When he turned to me the relaxed air had gone.

"My padawan is returning home. He will be here tomorrow."

I couldn't account for the sudden anxiety I felt. Why should the prospect of meeting this young man worry me? But it did, and the uneasiness continued into the night. It was very late when I realised its source. Master Obi-Wan was not sleeping. He, too, was laying awake worrying over the return of his apprentice.

It was mid-morning the following day when I finally met Anakin Skywalker. About to go straight to his room to throw down his pack, he stopped when he saw me sitting at the desk. I noticed that his right hand, clutching the pack, had been replaced by a synthetic, mechno-hand. I tried not to stare. Master Obi-Wan stood, his padawan towering over him.

"Master," he said in greeting.

"Anakin. Your mission was successful?"

"Yes, Master."

And that was it. No hug, no "welcome home", no "I am happy to see you again" from either of them. How different to the warmth of our homecomings when either Qui-Gon or I had been away, even for a short time. Anakin was still staring at me, his expression almost a challenge.

Master Obi-Wan introduced us, giving the explanation for my presence, and the padawan nodded.

"There isn't room for three of us here," he said bluntly.

"Anakin! You will show a little more hospitality." He was admonished, and looked suitable chastened. Anakin bowed a little, then continued his way to his room.

"Sorry, Master. Excuse me. I have to unpack."

"Is there anything else you have to tell me, Padawan?"

I looked at Master Obi-Wan in surprise at his tone - it carried a warning. Then I understood; the young man was hiding something from his master. Anakin stopped and turned.

"No, Master. Nothing." He really thought the lie wouldn't be noticed. I think my mouth was open as I stared. "Is there anything else, Master?"

Master Obi-Wan shook his head and dismissed his apprentice. For a moment after the padawan had left, he looked at the closed door. I could hear him, though I wasn't certain I was meant to as he muttered, "He is hiding something." Then, even more quietly, "As usual."

I wasn't until much later that I came to the startling realisation that Anakin wasn't even aware that Master Obi-Wan and I had formed a new bond; such was their shallow shadow of a training bond.

In the evening, Master Obi-Wan called Anakin from his room where he had closeted himself since his arrival.

"I have to attend a meeting this evening. Anakin, stay here with Ben."

Anakin looked displeased. "But Master, I have to go..."

His master prevented him from finishing. "You have a full report to complete on the mission, Anakin. You will finish it tonight."

I didn't need a close bond with the padawan to be able to feel his anger. He looked like he was about to protest but thought the better of it.

"Yes, Master." But there was no respect in the title.

Master Obi-Wan held him in his gaze a long moment, then left. The tall padawan turned to me, glaring.

"So I am supposed to babysit now. Just so he can go out and fuck his boyfriend." He looked for my reaction, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He went into his room and returned with his cloak. "I have something to do. I am not staying here playing nanny for you."

"Master Obi-Wan told you not to leave," I said and stood to stop him.

"And what are you going to do? Run off and tell him?"

I felt it then, faint but dangerously near, beautiful and tempting and terrifying, the Dark Side was all around this young man. I had felt this before, years before, on Telos. My own master's failed apprentice, Xanatos, was tainted with this same Darkness. I shook my head; I couldn't be right, others would have seen it if I could. He took my movement as an answer to his question and pushed past me.

"Where are you going?" I called out, but the door closed behind him.

Stunned, I stared at the closed door. I must have been mistaken in my impression. He was angry at finding his living accommodation upset on his return from an obviously arduous mission, and wished to spend some time with his friends instead of being stuck here with me. The innocent explanation sounded false in my head. The bad feeling I had about this padawan was increasing alarmingly.

I grabbed my cloak and followed him.

Chapter Six

It was quite easy keeping the tall padawan in sight as he strode down the Temple corridors. I didn't want him to detect my presence so I kept well back, only hurrying forward when I was sure of the direction he was taking. He was, in fact, intent on being unnoticed himself and I believed that was the main reason why he wasn't aware of me. It soon became obvious he was heading towards the nearest Temple landing platform. So much for my theory that he wished to meet his fellow padawans.

None of the few Jedi we passed on the way took any notice of either of us hurrying through the corridors in the early evening. By the time Anakin emerged onto the platform, Coruscant's sun was setting and the polluted sky was the usual garish orange. He moved to the far edge of the platform, away from a small group of waiting Jedi. I stood in the open doorway, uncertain whether to continue onto the platform and risk being seen by Anakin or slink back inside and give up my pursuit.

A bulky speeder bus approached the platform, turning as it landed, doors opening to allow a couple of Jedi returning to the Temple to disembark. Anakin strode to the bus and stepped aboard, followed by the others who had been waiting. Making my mind up at the last minute, I jogged across the platform and followed.

A few other passengers were already on the bus so I took a seat right at the back, as far away from Padawan Skywalker as I could manage and reached into my tunic pocket for a credit chip.

A horrible feeling crept upon me as I wondered if my ancient credit would be accepted by the conductor droid collecting fares, now approaching down the narrow aisle towards me. The speeder bus rose from the platform and joined the traffic lanes, and I handed my fare to the conductor. I held my breath, expecting a negative response followed by a commotion that would draw the attention of the tall figure staring out of the window at the opposite end of the bus. I could breathe again, and took my chip back as the droid moved away without comment.

I had no idea where this transport was heading, and looked out of the grimy windows for clues. We had left the Temple behind and were moving swiftly across the city, passing mile upon mile of government buildings I recognised from earlier trips in the area with my master. With Qui-Gon. The sick feeling returned as I realised I had hardly thought of him all day. Now, the pain swept over me afresh. Perhaps it was the increasing distance from Master Obi-Wan contributing to this renewed aching grief. We had hardly been apart since the bond had formed in the infirmary.

The man sitting a couple of seats in front of me, one of those who had boarded the transport at the Temple, an old human Jedi with brown wrinkled skin, turned to face me. His face was a question; concern showed in his pale eyes. Obviously an empath.

I swallowed hard and pushed the feelings away, trying to smile at the solicitude.

"Everything alright, young one?" he asked quietly. His companions now turned too, and I envisioned everyone in the bus joining in if I couldn't deflect their attention. I nodded, and turned to stare out of the window again, hoping that the concerned man would take that as an indication that I wished to be left alone.

The huge structure of the senate building loomed ahead. As I had been taught, I calmed myself and centred my awareness on the current moment, releasing the painful feelings with the promise that they would have my full attention at the appropriate time. The strategy worked, for the others turned back and resumed their quiet conversation.

Night was falling by the time the bus began to slow down, and I pulled my hood low over my face as Anakin rose to leave. I slumped down in my seat feeling very conspicuous. We had arrived at the senate building. The bus stopped, hitting the landing platform with a slight bump and all the other passengers disembarked. I was the last to get off, looking around furtively to see where my quarry had gone.

Red-clad and helmeted guards were standing to attention at the building's entrance; force pikes to hand instead of the less lethal stun rifles. This was new. I wondered when these guards had been introduced and why. Was it for the protection of the politicians? And if so, why was that necessary?

I saw Anakin striding past the guards unchallenged, but noticed that the group of Jedi who had arrived with us were questioned before admission.

One of the guards turned to face me, expecting me to approach. Trying to think of a reason for being there, all I could come up with was, "Um, I'm with Padawan Skywalker," pointing inside to the swirling cloak disappearing down a long corridor.

The name did the trick, and they moved to let me enter. Obviously, Anakin was known here: a regular visitor. I couldn't think of a reason why a Jedi padawan would visit the senate. Without the knowledge of his master.

More guards along the corridors, and the same strategy worked to get me past them.

It was more difficult to remain hidden from Anakin while at the same time keeping him in sight because he wasn't consciously shielding his presence among the groups of politicians, administrators and aides as he was in the Temple. It was not necessary; no one took any notice of the not unusual sight of a Jedi striding down the halls. But they did look slightly askance at me - a second, smaller padawan with braid flapping.

The halls we entered became less busy. There were no members of the public, and just a few politicians talking in small groups as they moved through the vast building. It was very quiet, sounds deadened by the thick carpets and luxurious furnishings decorating these exclusive hallways. At last, Anakin appeared to have reached his destination. He walked straight past two guards at the doors to a large chamber. He was obviously expected.

I stepped back, hoping I hadn't been seen, but one of the guards called out. Taking a deep breath, I approached them and explained again that I was with the other padawan. This time, I wasn't allowed past.

"Is the Chancellor expecting you?"

The Chancellor! Trying to hide my surprise and puzzlement over why Anakin would be meeting the Chancellor, I told them, "Of course."

They stared at me through their visors for a long moment.

"Come with me. You can wait in here while we check this out."

I was led to a small receiving room. Even this room was beautifully furnished, with a group of comfortable chairs arranged for conversation around a low table, but of course so far inside the huge building there were no windows. And no other exit. I didn't like this at all. I attempted to make an excuse that I didn't want to disturb the meeting if the Chancellor was busy just now, and tried to push between the two to get out. A large hand on my shoulder stopped me, and steered me to one of the chairs.

One guard stayed inside at the door, unmoving, as the other left, the door closing firmly behind him. I smiled at the remaining guard in a friendly manner, and silently apologising to Qui-Gon I said, "You don't need to keep me here," putting all my concentration into drawing on the Force to compel him to respond. My master wouldn't have approved of my use of the Force in this way. But he wouldn't have approved of me getting into this situation in the first place.

"I don't need to keep you here," he replied, and stood aside so I could leave.

Before I reached the door, though, it opened and in walked Anakin Skywalker.

"Leave us," Anakin ordered the guard.

I swear the poor man shook his head in confusion inside the all-covering helmet as he left. The door closed, leaving an angry looking padawan glaring at me.

"Just what do you think you are doing?" he demanded.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. What are you doing here?"

He was directly in front of me in two steps, and raised his hand flat to my chest to push me back into the chair.

Pushing my luck even further, I continued, "You seem very familiar with the guards," I nodded towards the door. "And the Chancellor."

"He sent you to spy on me," he stated, eyes narrow, anger swirling through him.

I stared at him blankly. "Who?"

"Master Obi-Wan. You are here to observe and report back to him, aren't you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. He doesn't know I'm here. He told you not to leave..."

He was looming over me, and I saw his arm move as if to hit me. But he stopped himself and turned away.

"Then what are you doing here?" he asked, walking away from me. "Trying to make me look foolish?" He spoke very quietly.

I stood up again. "No, of course not. I wanted to know where you were going. Master Obi-Wan doesn't know..."

Anakin turned to me. "Master Obi-Wan doesn't know anything, about me, about what is going on, about the Chancellor's plans." His voice was malignant, and I knew I could feel hatred in him. For his master. "And you," he continued, "don't think I don't know who you are. It is obvious just looking at you."

I swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"

Some of the hatred was transferred to me. "You are his son," he stated flatly. I almost laughed. "How old are you? 15? 16?"

"I am 17," I said, rather indignantly.

"So what happened? Your mother was some spaceport slut he knocked up when he was still a padawan. You were hidden away, and now he's still hiding you away, ashamed of you."

I was speechless, and gaped at him.

"And now he is sending you out, sneaking around doing his dirty work... I know you two are close – it is some kind of bond, isn't it? He's planning on getting rid of me to take you on."

It was my turn to interrupt him. "Master Obi-Wan is your master! How can you say such things?"

"My master, yes. But he never should have been. Master Qui-Gon should have trained me. He was meant to be my master." Anakin was spitting the words out, his voice rising. "And now my dear master is throwing me aside before my trials in revenge because that's what happened to him!"

"I don't believe you," I shouted. "Qui-Gon wouldn't... " I stopped, recognising his tactics for what they were - he was trying to make me angry.

"What would you know? You never met him. He was ready to dump Kenobi and take me as his padawan before he died."

I wanted to scream at him for daring to speak of Master Qui-Gon is such a way. But a small part of me believed what he was saying, because he believed it himself. I tried again to reason with him.

"Master Obi-Wan chose you to train, to be his padawan. He wouldn't have chosen you if he didn't believe you were right for each other."

Anakin turned away from me. "He didn't." His voice was lowered so I could hardly hear him. "He didn't choose me." He spun around to face me again. "I was forced on him when Qui-Gon died. He had no choice. Neither did I."

Not chosen. It was unheard of – I couldn't believe the Council would have sanctioned such a thing. No wonder it had resulted in such a mess.

I thought it was because we were so intent on our argument that I didn't notice the approach of another until the door opened again. A dignified man entered, coming face to face with two Jedi padawans glaring at each other. Even a non Force-sensitive could have detected the atmosphere of tension in the room.

"Anakin, you didn't tell me your young friend was with you!" he said, smiling warmly at me. "Welcome. And you are?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

Anakin introduced me. "Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, this is Ben TeJinn. He is staying with my master for a short time." Of course, I hadn't seen the man before – Chancellor Valorum had just taken office in my world.

"So nice to see another young Jedi here. You will have some refreshments?" He didn't give me time to answer, but pressed an unobtrusive button on a table and waved his hands for us to join him in the comfortable chairs.

Palpatine began chatting to us as though we were family; indeed, he seemed like a friendly uncle, or grandfather. Of course, I have no direct experience of family relationships, but he was exactly how I imagined a benevolent uncle would be.

"Anakin has been telling me all about his adventures on his mission. Such excitement! Where would we be without you marvellous Jedi to help us in these dark times? And he managed to spend time on Naboo with his dear sweetheart!"

My head flew up to look at Anakin at this revelation. Sweetheart. Was that the secret he had been trying to hide from Master Obi-Wan?

While Palpatine was talking, a droid arrived and set out a tray heavily laden with drinks and plates of tiny, delicious-looking pastries and cakes. I had eaten, a simple meal in our quarters, but the sight and aroma of these made my stomach rumble.

It was all laid out on obviously expensive china, elegant, fine plates with detailed designs and the cool fruit juices in glasses of sparkling crystal. I recognised extravagance when I saw it. It was to be expected – after all, the man was the supreme authority in all the republic.

Once or twice I looked up expecting to find the Chancellor's eyes on me; I felt he was paying particular attention to me, scrutinising me, but whenever I glanced at him he was continuing his conversation, airily gesturing in the air and giving the foods as much attention as he appeared to be giving me. I supposed it was just his politician's manner of putting people at ease and making them think their views were very important.

I noticed Anakin was at ease during this time; he looked more relaxed than I had seen him since we met, smiling at Palpatine's witticisms and helping himself to the delicious snacks on offer.

The Chancellor asked me all sorts of questions: about my imaginary master, my upbringing away from the Temple, why I was staying with Master Obi-Wan. I fended them off as best I could, trying to be vague and deflect his attention, but although his questions were casual, seeming only to make conversation, I was becoming increasingly nervous.

It seemed ridiculous, to feel anxious about this friendly man's queries. But I was relieved when at last Palpatine rose and said, "I think you two had better be getting back to your Temple. Master Kenobi will be extremely worried that something has happened to you, I am sure." He looked straight at me. Although his smile had gone, his face wore the same open, caring expression as before. Why then did I feel like that comment was a threat?

The Chancellor insisted on arranging our transport back to the Temple; he wouldn't hear of our travelling on public transport.

"Not suitable conveyance for our brave guardians of the peace!" he exclaimed.

As he said goodbye, he shrugged off my thanks for his hospitality. "Always pleased to see a friend of Anakin. I do hope I will see you again." He put a hand on my shoulder and bent close to me so our heads were almost touching. "Of course, there is no need to tell Master Kenobi or anyone else where you have been. It would only cause undue concern."

I met his eyes. Of course, that seemed completely reasonable.

"There is no need to tell anyone," I repeated, wondering why Anakin was smiling at me so broadly.

Although it was late when I arrived back with the silent padawan, Master Obi-Wan still hadn't returned. In fact, I was lying awake under blankets on the couch much later in the night when I felt his presence nearby and the door opened and closed. I sat up and he turned on a small lamp rather than illuminate the whole room.

He apologised for waking me but I told him I was already awake. Well, I must have been dozing a little because I felt confusion for a moment - there was something I was going to tell him, but I didn't want to worry him.

He looked at me with his intense stare, eyebrow raised - do I do that, I wondered - waiting to see if I was going to add anything.

"Goodnight, Master," I said.

Chapter Seven

I was awakened the following morning by the sound of the door chime. Master Obi-Wan as usual had already left for his early meditation, and the padawan was still in his room. I emerged from the pile of blankets to open the door.

"Master Yoda! Sorry, Master Obi-Wan isn't here at the moment."

The small master looked up at me. "In the garden, meditating, is Master Obi-Wan. Think I don't know this, do you, hmm? You I have come to see, young one." He stomped his way past me and made himself comfortable in a chair. I stared for a moment.

"Oh, sorry, Master, please excuse me," and I gathered the blankets up to dump them somewhere out of sight. But Anakin was still in his room, so I looked around, about to take them to Master Obi-Wan's room.

"Leave that, Padawan. Time for my morning tea, it is." But as I started towards the kitchen, he stopped me. "But wait, I will. Still to learn that art, you have. Much older you will be before you get it right."

Unsure how to respond to that, I sat opposite him, piling the blankets on the other side of the couch.

"You want to see me, Master?"

Master Yoda observed me silently for a moment. Yes, I could see the signs. He definitely looked older than I remembered. That was quite amazing for such a long-lived being, and I hoped it didn't mean my dear great-grandmaster was nearing the end of his life.

I was trying to resist the urge to squirm under his scrutiny when he finally spoke. "Leave here, you must."

"Leave? To go where, Master? Do you mean leave the Temple?"

Master Yoda sighed and settled further down in the chair. "Forgot, I did, how long it took you to learn to listen without interruption." I opened my mouth to apologise, closed it again and waited. The old master gave a cackling laugh. "But learning, you are. Leave here, leave this time, you must. Grow up in your own time, you must, in order for your older self to be here, do you see?"

I nodded and refrained from commenting.

"Been taken apart has the shuttle you arrived in. Found nothing unusual, the engineers have. Now put it back together, they have. Ready for flight, it is."

This time I couldn't help butting-in. "You mean I should fly the shuttle again, will that take me home? But something happened, there was a malfunction..."

I caught his look, and stopped.

"Meditated long on this, I have," Yoda continued. "Return, you will. Seen this, I have."

He fell silent, and his eyes half closed as he looked inward. I was almost ready to jump up and shake him when he shifted in his chair and reached into his robe to draw out a holopic. He stared at it, and passed it to me.

It was a picture of Master Obi-Wan, when he was younger, with my master. No, it was me, older. Still a padawan. The sight of my master, his hand resting casually on my shoulder, made me smile. But he was gone. Once more, the pain of grief hit me without warning and I shut my eyes tightly. For how long after this picture was taken would my master live? How much longer did the confident young man in the picture have with his beloved? Although the Obi-Wan in the picture wasn't smiling, I could see his contentment; secure in the love of the man he expected to bond with, to spend the rest of his life with.

"Master Yoda.. Please tell me," I managed to get out, my eyes still shut.

"Obi-Wan," the old master said. The first time anyone had called me by my name since I arrived here, and I looked at him. "Blame yourself, you did. Though no one else would have." He spoke quietly. "Blame yourself for not being with him." He stopped, and sighed again. Then he appeared to have made a decision, for he carried on, "A chance you have, to change things. Granted this, the Force has. Perhaps with this knowledge, save him you could. Stay with him. Become separated during the battle on Naboo, you must not."

Naboo again. Anakin had just returned from that planet. "Master Yoda, I would never have chosen someone like Anakin for my padawan. He said... he said Master Qui-Gon was ready to send me away so he could train him."

"Told you that, he did? Hmm, strikes out to hurt, that one does. Not strictly correct, though. Qui-Gon believed you ready, and believed in the boy. Lived in the moment, he did, as always. Failed to see the danger, he did. Change that too, you can. To Tatooine, you must not go, when the hyperdrive fails. Leave the Skywalker boy there, with his mother. Better for all, that would be. To Ryloth, Rodia or Falleen – anywhere, but not Tatooine."

Not at all sure what the master was talking about, I asked, "You think Anakin shouldn't have been trained at all? Should he have been sent to the Agricultural Corps instead?"

"Fail to understand, you do. Not your fault, no. Brought to the Temple too late was the boy, too late to begin his training, too old. Already bonded with his mother, he had. Not detected as an infant, was he, out in the Outer Rim."

At last it was beginning to make sense. Anakin hadn't grown up in the Temple. "Qui-Gon found him, on Tatooine," I said. I could imagine my stubborn master bringing a Force-sensitive child back and expecting the Council to agree to him being trained. And being surprised when they refused. I imagined the words we would have exchanged over that episode.

Master Yoda slipped out of the chair and stood to leave. "Now, time for you to go it is. Leave here, you must," he repeated.

He really believed I could return home! "Yes, Master. But may I say goodbye to him first?" He knew who I meant. "In his usual morning meditation place, he is."

"This will hurt him, won't it?" The bond we shared would be severed. But while I would be returning to my dear master, and wouldn't suffer too much, Master Obi-Wan would once more be left alone.

The old master nodded, and shuffled towards the door. "Survive it, he will. Jedi, he is."

That didn't make the pain any less.

I found Master Obi-Wan easily. He was kneeling, relaxed, his eyes closed. A light breeze stirred the grasses and small flowers, and the air felt fresh. I had never appreciated this place before; it had always seemed rather bare and uninteresting, devoid of life, empty. But I shared in his sense of freedom, in the openness and impression of unrestricted space. And there was life here, all around - small creatures in the grasses, insects and tiny animals, and birds above us. I could almost believe that it was open sky overhead and not the high Temple roof.

I knelt in front of my older self, as silently as I could, not wishing to disturb him. Of course, he was aware of me. He would know if anyone approached, but I knew my presence was obvious to him. Our bond had grown stronger during my short time with him.

I had to agree with Master Obi-Wan about this place – it was peaceful. I sensed his serenity, his acceptance, through our bond. He was accepting of the pain he had lived with for so long, and I knew I was going to add to that pain by leaving.

His eyes opened and he smiled at me. Of course, he felt my guilt.

"This is not your fault, Ben. There is no reason for you to feel blame."

"I don't want to hurt you," I said, and suddenly his arms were around me and we held on to each other, still kneeling in the grass. He didn't try to tell me it wouldn't hurt.

"I managed before. I will do so again. After all this time of not having a close bond, I have become used to it."

"But to have this, and then have it taken away?" I stopped, thinking I was making this worse rather than helping. "I am sorry; it is so cruel." I looked up at him. "Perhaps you will find another padawan? Form a bond? After Anakin." I didn't add, "A real one."

But he shook his head. "I don't believe I will ever train another."

The prospect of being alone was frightening. A wave of self-pity hit me – this will happen to me.

I will try and change it, Master! I vowed silently. He pulled back from me, and again that quizzical look.

"You should go now," he said eventually, after studying my face for a moment. I nodded and stood to leave.

"Take care of him," he said quietly, and I didn't trust myself to reply.

I made my way to the landing pad where my small shuttle had been readied for departure. I hadn't expected a farewell committee; I had said my goodbyes to the two beings who meant most to me in this world and tried to put out of my mind the worry about what breaking another bond would feel like. After all, Master Yoda was certain I was going home, to my master. I quickened my step along the corridors.

Striding through the opening door to the pad, I stopped short at the sight of the figure in front of the shuttle. Anakin Skywalker was waiting for me.

"Have you come to see me off, Padawan Skywalker?" I asked him.

Instead of answering, he asked, "Where are you going?" I didn't like the way he spoke to me. From across the small space separating us, he glowered at me. There was quite a wind blowing here, outside the shelter of the Temple walls, but I don't think that was the reason I felt cold.

"I am going to meet my master. I can't tell you any more; you realise that." I stepped onto the landing pad, and started towards the shuttle.

"But what will you be telling him, your mysterious master? About Tatooine?"

I thought his mission had been to Naboo. I shook my head in confusion. "I don't know what you mean."

"I heard you and Yoda. I heard what he told you."

What? He was standing at the foot of the boarding ramp, and walked towards me. Threatening. That was the word that sprang to mind at the sight of the much taller padawan approaching. He was attempting to intimidate me with his height and maturity.

"I know he was talking about Tatooine. He told you not to go there. What did he tell you about what happened?"

"Nothing! Well, he said that's where you came from. That's all." I wasn't about to tell him that the old master had told me to leave him there, but he sensed my evasion. I thought he was going to grab me and shake me. He took a final step towards me.

"What does Yoda know about Tatooine? I know you're hiding something from me. Tell me!" He put all his Force power into the command and I knew he was afraid of what I knew.

Something terrible had happened on Tatooine.

He had grabbed a handful of my tunic and pulled me towards him, his eyes boring into mine. He looked down at the hand that had grabbed me - his mechno-hand.

"I don't know," I tried to pull away from him. "Please, really, I don't know!"

His face twisted and he released me. Shaken, I asked, "What happened, Anakin? On... on your mission? On Tatooine?"

He wouldn't tell me. Instead, he asked, "Does Obi-Wan know? Has Yoda told him too?"

"Anakin, I really don't know..."

But he continued, hardly listening to me. "This is all his fault anyway. He never asked me about my mother. He knew I had been there, knew I was troubled, but never bothered to ask."

He? "You mean Master Yoda?"

"Yoda knows! The old green devil knows what happened - what I did. No, I mean my beloved master. She's dead, and he never asked." He looked almost broken at the revelation when I looked into his face. "And you, this bond you have with him. You think I don't know? He's wanting to be rid of me."

"Can't you speak to your master? Can't you ask him…"

"No!" He pushed me away from him and stepped away, back towards the Temple. "But there is one I can speak to." The Darkness was with him again and I wanted to be away from him. "Go. Go on, leave," he commanded.

Master Obi-Wan remained in his meditative position in the meadow garden for a while after the boy had left – after his younger self had left.

He soon realised that the calmness he had been attempting to achieve was eluding him. He was unable to banish the gnawing worry – fear, even – that had crept into his thoughts, although he had known all along that they would be parted. Giving up on further meditation for the morning, he rose smoothly, brushed the few stray grass stalks off his clothes and walked out of the garden towards his quarters.

He told himself as he left that he was as prepared as he was going to get for the forthcoming pain. He traced his path back to his quarters, his anxiety growing as he still felt nothing of the inevitable bond separation. Perhaps young Ben had been unable to return to his own time, contrary to old Master Yoda's confident prediction.

Anakin would be out of the rooms by this time; he should be on his way to his current study group. Obi-Wan hoped so, but had to admit the possibility that his volatile apprentice might have found an excuse to avoid his classes. It wouldn't be the first time. The master sighed, remembering the regular reports he received from the teaching masters concerning the boy's non-attendance. And the subsequent reprimands and warnings he was forced to give.

As Obi-Wan entered his quarters, a moment of dizziness overcame him. The first effects of the breaking bond, he wondered. It passed, leaving a fuzzy headache. Putting his hand to his eyes, he flopped down on the couch, steeling himself for the full onslaught of symptoms.

"Are you well, Love?"

A voice from the kitchen. Obi-Wan's reality slipped sideways and he opened his eyes in shock. The expected pain had not come; instead he felt the deep, long-term comfort of a well-established bond. His heart thudding in his chest, he rose shakily to see who had spoken.

The speaker came out of the kitchen, a look of concern on his face, those familiar blue eyes not seen for so long yet his memory told him he had of course seen him this morning when he left their bed.

Memories overlapped, new recollections replacing the painful ones.

Qui-Gon stepped forward and took him by his shoulders, steadying him. The death in the generator room – overlaid with a new memory of the battle, the terrible rout that had been Naboo, but he had been able to stay with his master, they hadn't been separated, and the droid control ship had not been destroyed. More memories - their earlier escape with the queen, landing on Rodia and evading capture by the violent hunters.

But they had been to Tatooine – no he had never seen that young boy from the desert. He did remember meeting an older padawan, during his adventure to the future after a shuttle malfunction. A padawan tainted with the Dark Side meeting with the Supreme Chancellor. But that Chancellor never was. His warnings to the Council about the Darkness surrounding Naboo's Senator had been enough to unmask and put and end to the activities of the Sith before the damage had been done.

The door to their quarters burst open and a small, blue-skinned Omwat padawan burst in.

"Sorry, Master," he called to Obi-Wan as he dashed into his room and came out again clutching a datapad. "Forgot again." The youngster grinned and hurried to the door.

"Xor," said Obi-Wan.

The padawan skidded to a halt, his grin disappearing. "Master?"

Master Obi-Wan shook his head, and motioned for the boy to leave. "Go on, you'll be late again." So intelligent, yet completely scatter-brained sometimes. They had been together for almost two years. The Force had drawn them together perfectly. It was as it should be between master and padawan.

Qui-Gon had to help him to sit down, anxiety in his face.

"I missed you so much," Obi-Wan said, then gave a choked laugh as he realised how silly that sounded; it had only been an hour or so since he had left his lover's arms.

"What's wrong?," Qui-Gon asked softly. "Are you feeling unwell?"

"Oh, I am well, Master." Qui-Gon's eyebrows rose at the title. "I am very well. Never better." Obi-Wan laughed for joy, and pulled his lover close for the longed-for embrace.

The End