Master Apprentice Archive Birthing Quick search:

Rating: NC-17

Archive: MA and Jacynthe's

Series: no

Categories: Q/O, humor

Feedback: Yes, please.

Summary: One of Qui-Gon's strays picks a great time to have babies.

Spoilers/Warnings: If you're concerned about such things, forcus on foreplay that has already happened when we zoom in on our heroes. If you're not, then carry on. I'm not going for a technical score. Raw and unbeta'ed.

Disclaimers: Someday I intend to use my own beloved, beautiful characters to write for fame, fortune and glory. Today is not that day.

Notes: response to The Rose's challenge: "In honor of the fact that one of my pygmy goats has just had twins, write me a story where one of Qui-Gon's "pathetic creatures" has babies in the middle of their bed at an, ummm, "inopportune time." You know, something short, sweet, funny, and a little messy. <grins>"

Obi-Wan arched back, his cheek on his forearms, his knees under him, waiting. Qui-Gon stroked his back gently and Obi-Wan's anticipation grew as his master grasped his hips firmly and pressed against him, then thrust. Gritting his teeth against the shout of pleasure, Obi-Wan rocked backward, encouraging speed.

"Don't be careful with me now," he breathed in a rush. "I need you." He rose up on his arms for leverage and pressed backward insistently, enjoying his master's groans of pleasure.

Obi-Wan kept his eyes tightly closed, counting backwards in Malastarean to stave off his orgasm, which was building much faster than he'd anticipated. His efforts were waylaid by the soft, delicate brush of-- the back of his master's hand? Something much too soft to be Qui-Gon's 'sabre-hilt callused palm over his aching cock. But--

Qui-Gon's hands were still firmly gripping his padawan's hips.

Obi-Wan looked down quickly, then yelled and rocked up suddenly, scrambling backwards and dislodging Qui-Gon (thankfully) before they landed together in a startled, scared heap.

"What in the *Sith!"* Qui-Gon shouted at Obi-Wan, too shocked at the sudden interruption to have anything masterly to say.

"What in the *Sith!*" Obi-Wan repeated, his voice cracking in panic, and pointed to the middle of the bed.

It was green and furry, with great, blue, moist eyes and a quivering purple triangle of a nose. It looked somewhat felinoid, but the length and fluffiness of its fur obscured its body type. It was about the size of half a loaf of bread.

Obi-Wan's erection was helpless in the face of it. "What *is* it. Is that yours? You didn't tell me you picked up *another*--"

"Awwww," Qui-Gon was saying.

Obi-Wan looked at him incredulously. "Oh." He shook his head, beyond aggravated. "Oh. I can *not* believe this." He climbed down from the bed and began to dress, squinching his face. He looked again at the animal on his bed.

It was curling around itself, making pawing motions at the blanket. Suddenly it let out a sonic shriek and two flappy ears unfurled themselves from its head.

Qui-Gon was enrapt. "Oh she's giving birth! How exciting. I wish I had a holorecorder."

"She's--" Obi-Wan stared from the creature to his master. "That's my *bed!*" He pointed at the little monster, outraged.

Qui-Gon waved him down and tugged his leggings on. "I'll help you clean up afterwards, Obi-Wan, don't worry."

The incredulous padawan's eyes widened. "You'll 'help.' That's great." He threw his tunic over his head and jerked his arms through the sleeves. "I need a drink."

"Good idea. We'll need alcohol, towels, probably some warm water...." He began to putter around, looking for things.

Obi-Wan stared at him. "You're really going to let that thing give birth on my bed."

"Well I don't want to move her now, Padawan, it'll disrupt the entire event."

The thing shrieked again. Obi-Wan wondered if it would suddenly grow eyelashes now, or another appendage. He stood and stared, not knowing what else to do. Five minutes ago he was but a thrust away from what might have been one of the better orgasms of his entire life. Now he was watching a quivering, green, prenatal blob of fur look at him mournfully while its ears did strange things.

He moved a little closer. She rolled over onto her back and waggled her stubby feet, rolling and unrolling her unbelievably disproportionate ears. Her eyes teared up.

Obi-Wan frowned and reached out to touch her belly. She shrieked pitifully, much louder this time, and Obi-Wan winced and drew his hand back. "Qui-Gon Jinn, you'd better see to this thing," he said, a little more loudly than was strictly necessary, displaying his waning irritation.

The truth was, he was beginning to feel sorry for her.

Qui-Gon hurried in, bearing a box full of things to assist in the joyous event. "All right, Obi-Wan, let's give her some room. This might get messy."

Obi-Wan arched an eyebrow suspiciously. "Exactly *how* messy?"

Qui-Gon shook his head and began to set towels around the squirming creature. "Ni'a is a phyto-organism. She will bleed sap for a while after the birth."

"Ni'a. Bleeds sap. Got it." Obi-Wan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"And then she'll need sunlight." The master was looking at the disinfectant he'd brought, then realized it would be useless on a plant form, so he set it aside.

"Of course. And presumably water, and a layer of manure?"

Qui-Gon's head shot up. He looked at Obi-Wan with evident pride. "Very good thinking, Padawan."

The creature screamed sonically again, and Obi-Wan clutched his forehead. "Master if she doesn't stop, she'll shatter the windows."

"Oh she will not. Come here, I need your help." Obi-Wan moved close with more than a little apprehension. Qui-Gon had two of her feet in his fingers and was pinching them rhythmically. "It eases the pain. Grab her other feet and do what I'm doing."

Obi-Wan sighed and followed suit. "I hardly see how it's fair that the thing gets to be masturbated when I--"

"Obi-Wan." It was a low, warning growl.

"Right." Obi-Wan fell silent and continued to massage Ni'a's feet.

Her little purple nose twitched. Ni'a stared at him with huge, cerulean eyes that seemed perpetually on the verge of spilling tears. She made a series of small squeaks. Obi-Wan tilted his head at her.

"She likes you," Qui-Gon observed.

"Great. I give good foot."

Qui-Gon shook his head and sighed.

Suddenly the creature began to pant loudly. Obi-Wan braced for another screech but it didn't come. Her mouth was open, but no sound was uttered. "What's happening?" he asked, concerned.

"I don't know. I'm not familiar with this-- wait." Qui-Gon parted the fur on her belly and saw a tiny breach there. "She can't pass the florie."

"Florie."

"Yes, the infants. She can't get them out. Something's wrong." He began to massage the line where Ni'a's stomach seemed to meet itself. She flexed her ears compulsively and stared at Obi-Wan plaintively.

"Wait," he said. He set Qui-Gon's hands away from the creature's stomach and began to pet her as he'd wanted to when she'd wriggled at him before. She wriggled that way again, letting out another shriek. Obi-Wan winced but kept rubbing. She began to calm, wrinkling her nose at him.

"She is kind of cute," he murmured, half to himself. Qui-Gon watched the exchange and shielded his charmed amusement.

She seized abruptly and shrieked again, and Obi-Wan was struck by a wave of panic. "Where do the babies come out?" he asked Qui-Gon. "Something's really wrong here."

Qui-Gon pointed at her stomach. "A breach occurs at the midsection, here, and opens--"

"Right." Without knowing what he was doing or why, Obi-Wan took Ni'a in his hands and turned her belly down, holding her over a towel. "Keep rubbing her feet," he told Qui-Gon, and tipped her so he could look into her eyes. She was in a great deal of pain, that much was clear. As she stared into his worried eyes, he felt something, a familiar tickle--

"Oh no, Master, she's trying to *bond* with me."

Qui-Gon chuckled. "Actually I think she already has."

Ni'a siezed again, and shrieked. Obi-Wan shoved aside his momentary disapproval at the idea of being bonded to a cat that had to be treated like a plant. He answered the tickle in his head and felt a flood of something untranslatable in his consciousness, something that was not pleasant, per se, but more like a relief of unpleasantness.

Ni'a mewled at him once and sprayed florie all over the bed.

*All* over the bed. They came out in a sticky shower, about a dozen quivering little Ni'a babies, potentially furry balls about the size of poultry eggs, coated in a green-tinged sap.

Obi-Wan sighed in relief. "Oh thank the Force, I thought she was dying." Impulsively, he cuddled Ni'a to him, burying his face in her fur and ignoring the fact that her postnatal tummy was sticky. He murmured something Qui-Gon couldn't hear for a moment, then set her gently down in the middle of the bed, gathering florie up and tucking them up against her so she could clean them. She looked up at him and let out a reverberating squeal of happiness.

Qui-Gon was taking things out of the box and setting it on the bed.

"What's that for?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Well, we're done now, Padawan. She can be put back on the windowsill."

Obi-Wan moved protectively between Qui-Gon and Ni'a. "There's no need for that. I mean-- she needs someplace warm, right? That was traumatic. She has to rest."

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows. "She'll need light, too."

"I can get a solar lamp."

"And water."

Obi-Wan pointed to the bedside table, which had a glass on it from the previous night. "She doesn't need to go anywhere for that. I'll take care of her."

"Your bed, though?"

Obi-Wan shrugged and looked back at Ni'a, who was watching him lovingly. "Surely I can sleep in your bed, Master?"

Qui-Gon grinned then, praising his pet's impromptu lesson in compassion and prudently not reminding Obi-Wan about the manure. "Yes, Padawan."

End.