Master Apprentice
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Bring Him Home
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Rating: PG I guess
Category: h/c, mush, angst, pre-slash
Summary: A sort of sequel to An End to Darkness. Obi falls mysteriously and seriously ill and Qui worries.
Spoilers: For the JA series by Jude Watson and my fic An End to Darkness. If you haven't read AETD, you probably won't be missing anything, but you should read it. This one does stand alone, but it deals with issues brought up in AETD.
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns most of these characters, not me. I make no profit except for an ego boost that I get from replies and feedback. The song Bring Him Home is from Les Miserables, and is property of the guy who wrote it, Cameron Macintosh (though I think I misspelled it).
Archive: If you want it, but let me know where it ends up please.
This story takes place about a year and a half after AETD, so that makes Obi-Wan about 16.
Notes:
Big fat hugs and thanks to Master Rose for the beta work and the gentle prodding and encouragement. I haven't been the best of padders lately, but she's been a great Master. Thanks for the choco-Obis and support. It's been rough, but I'm pulling through.
Some notes on the song--this is one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite musicals. The first time i wrote this story, it was perfect. Parts of it still are. But now, with me being able to view the boys' relationship in a slashier light, parts don't fit so well. but, you know, it still works in the greater scheme of things.
anyway, i've enjoyed getting this up and worthy of a slash list. There is another sequel, but it's a while in coming.
thanks again to Master Rose.
// indicates bond speak
[ indicates thoughts
The apprentice sniffed lightly, trying to get rid of the tickle in his nose. But it wasn't working, only making it worse. Obi-Wan didn't dare sneeze in the Council Chambers; it would echo for minutes in the high domed ceiling. Unable to fight it any longer, he clenched his jaw shut, and sneezed silently, allowing only a small bob of his head.
Qui-Gon, reporting, noticed the small movement from his apprentice, glanced briefly in the boy's direction, but continued his narration to the Council.
"Thank you, Master Jinn," Mace Windu said when Qui-Gon paused for breath. "That's enough for today."
"Tired you are, rest you should," Yoda said. "Summon you later, we will, if more we need."
Qui-Gon bowed slightly. "Thank you, my Masters."
Obi-Wan bowed also and followed his Master out of the chambers.
Qui-Gon paused in the hallway to allow Obi-Wan to catch up to his side. "Padawan, are you-" He was cut off by his apprentice dissolving into a sneezing fit. Obi-Wan fumbled in his pockets for his handkerchief with one hand while covering his mouth with the other. Blowing his nose when he was finished, he turned to his Master. "I'm sorry Master," he said, slightly stuffy. "What did you say?" "I was going to ask if you're feeling okay," the master said with a slight smile. "Yes, Master. Just tired." "Padawan," Qui-Gon said with a soft warning tone. "Don't hide from me." "I'm sure it's just a head cold, Master. I really feel okay." He sniffed. He decided not to mention that the world seemed to spin every once in awhile, or that his Master's presence in the Force was wavering. "If you say so, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, still skeptical. "Let's go home." He led off down the hall to the lift that would take them to their quarters.
"How about something to eat?" Qui-Gon asked as they entered the apartment.
"I'm not really hungry," Obi-Wan sniffed. "I just want to go to bed."
Qui-Gon frowned. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
Obi-Wan flashed a small grin. "Don't worry, Master, I'm fine. I'm just tired, really." His Master worried over him way too much. He sneezed again, and his head pounded. "I'm going to get ready for bed. I'll see you in the morning, Master."
"Okay, Obi-Wan. Get some rest," Qui-Gon watched his apprentice head for his room, concern clearly written on his features.
Obi-Wan shifted. He had awoken out of a deep sleep, not sure as to the cause. He tried to make himself comfortable so he could get some more sleep, but finding a restful position was futile. If he sat up, his sinuses drained painfully down the back of his throat, making him cough and irritating his throat even further. If he lay down, he got so stuffed up he couldn't breathe through his nose, leaving his mouth dry and gross feeling. Either position had him sneezing every few minutes, which was getting very annoying to the apprentice.
He sneezed again, and leaned weakly against the wall. His whole body ached. He hadn't felt this bad in the Council Chambers only what, four hours ago? The sneezing left his throat itching, up into his ears, and there wasn't anything he could do to ease the sensation.
Having tossed and turned for the last hour and a half, he gave up and turned on the light next to his bed. He picked up his book reader, loaded it with an old novel he'd been reading for sometime, whenever he had time. Propping himself up with a pillow, he sat back, half up and half down and began to read.
Within minutes, he was asleep with the reader on his chest.
"Time to get up, Padawan," Qui-Gon said loudly as he passed Obi-Wan's room on his way to the small kitchen in their quarters. Although Obi-Wan had retired early, Qui-Gon had let his apprentice sleep in, sensing that he needed the extra rest, despite the boy's protest that he'd just caught a head cold.
Qui-Gon went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. As he was setting out the necessary items, Obi-Wan dropped himself into a chair at the dining table.
Qui-Gon turned at the noise. "Ben, you look horrible," he admonished gently, using the endearment he had first bestowed upon Obi-Wan just over a year ago. It was from the master's homeworld, meaning precious one, or beloved. His apprentice did indeed look bad, with dark circles under his eyes, which stood out against the rest of his skin, which save for his cheeks, was very pale.
"Thags," Obi-Wan sniffed and blew his nose. "I must look as bad as I feel."
Qui-Gon placed a cup of juice in front of his apprentice and gently laid his hand on Obi-Wan's forehead. It was warm. "Drink this Padawan, then back to bed."
Obi-Wan nodded, and raised his handkerchief to his face and sneezed into it several times. He blew his nose weakly again and slumped back into the chair.
"Drink," Qui-Gon ordered.
Obi-Wan complied and drank the cup down all at once.
Qui-Gon took the cup back and deposited it in the sink. "Come on, Obi-Wan. Back to bed." He helped his apprentice stand, and led him back to his bedroom.
Obi-Wan crawled into bed, and laid back into his pillows, still propped up from the night before. "Master, I don't feel well," he whined.
"I know, Obi-Wan. Just get some rest. I'll check back on you later. If you need anything, just call." His Padawan must really be feeling bad to actually admit it. Qui-Gon considered taking his apprentice to the Healers, but they spent way too much time in those wards. It seemed to the Master at times that his Padawan's goal in life was to visit every hospital in the galaxy.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan mumbled, already falling back to sleep.
Qui-Gon ran his hand through Obi-Wan's short hair until the boy's breathing evened out and unconsciousness fully enveloped him. He dropped a kiss to Obi-Wan's forehead and left the bedroom, leaving the door open a little.
Qui-Gon stood in the doorway, watching Obi-Wan. The young man was buried under numerous blankets, only the top of his spiky, ginger colored hair peeking out. Qui-Gon wanted to check on his apprentice before letting his report to the Council consume him.
The lump under the covers shifted, and Obi-Wan moaned softly, turning restlessly.
Qui-Gon moved to his Padawan's side, settling on the edge of the bed. "Padawan," he said softly, trying to rouse the boy. He felt Obi-Wan's forehead and found it hotter than at breakfast a couple hours earlier.
"No, Master, 'sokay. I know what happened. I'm here, Master," Obi-Wan muttered in his sleep. The words were muffled by pillows and blankets, and were swallowed by the congestion in the boy's head so that the Master had to think to make them out.
Qui-Gon left his apprentice's side for only a moment, to gather some cool water, a cloth, and a chair to set at Obi-Wan's bedside.
Obi-Wan coughed in his sleep and continued muttering. "Master, I failed. I'm not dead."
Qui-Gon recognized the words the boy was uttering. They were from over a year ago, when Obi-Wan was recovering from a suicide attempt, and Qui-Gon was suffering from a very dangerous flu. The emotional, as well as physical scars, had faded, but were still there.
Qui-Gon was just placing the cool cloth on the boy's forehead when the chills took over his body. He rubbed the blankets covering the boy vigorously, trying to keep Obi-Wan warm. As fast as they had started, the chills stopped, and the apprentice stilled. Qui-Gon removed Obi-Wan's tunic as gently as possible, to avoid disturbing the boy any more.
"Master, I'm sorry. I never meant to cause you pain," Obi-Wan kept talking in his fevered state. "I didn't think you'd try, like I did."
Qui-Gon stopped his ministrations for a moment, taken aback at what his apprentice had just said. How did Obi-Wan know that he'd thought about trying to kill himself also? The subject had never came up, at least not between Master and Padawan. "Shh, Obi-Wan. It's okay. I'm alright," he soothed. He took one of Obi-Wan's smaller hands in his own.
Obi-Wan quieted a little at the physical contact.
Qui-Gon continued to alternate cooling and keeping Obi-Wan warm for about an hour, until Obi-Wan woke up. When the chills took over the young man's body, Qui-Gon hugged him tight against his body, having stripped out of his tunic when he realized it would be a long process. As the fever raged, leaving his Padawan sweating and mumbling deliriously, he swabbed the lithe body with the cool cloth, sparing minutes only to refresh the water and keep it cool.
As he passed over Obi-Wan's body with the cloth, he noticed the muscles forming in the young man's chest and abdomen. His Padawan was growing up, it seemed, beginning to take on the shape of his adult self. He still had some height left to go, Qui-Gon thought with a smile, but he'd never be as tall as his Master. With the covers tossed aside, Obi-Wan was bared to him, and Qui-Gon flushed almost as red as his apprentice currently was with the thought that Obi-Wan was beautiful. Not just physically, though there was that. He shone spiritually, and in the Force. Pure light; that was his Padawan.
But Qui-Gon locked the thoughts away for another time. His apprentice was ill, and here he was acting like a dirty old lecher hanging around a school house. Slowly, he continued his ministrations, until Obi-Wan awoke.
"Baster?" he whispered hoarsely.
"I'm right here, Ben. How do you feel?" He placed a hand on his forehead. Still warm, but nowhere near where it had been. Relieved, thinking the worst had passed, he handed the boy a handkerchief.
Obi-Wan blew his nose gently, and sniffed. "Horrible. Tired. Achy. Stuffy." He struggled to sit up, but Qui-Gon held him down.
"Shh Padawan. Stay down," he said gently.
Obi-Wan nodded with his eyes closed and lay back, breathing shallowly through his mouth. The room spun when his eyes were open, and he was having trouble staying focused on his Master's presence.
"Do you need anything Padawan? I have to go meet with the Council. Will you be okay by yourself for a little bit?" Qui-Gon's hand was still in Obi-Wan's.
Obi-Wan squeezed it in reply and nodded again. He sneezed weakly and sank back down into the pillows. He only wanted to sleep.
"Call me, if you need anything. And get some more rest." Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan's hand in return and rose. The boy was asleep before the Master was out of the room.
Obi-Wan woke again in the late afternoon. Dizzily, he rose into a sitting position. He cast out with the Force to find his Master, but couldn't grasp it. The Force eluded his reach like the fading details of a dream, just beyond his fingertips.
He knew something was wrong, and it scared him. He had never had trouble grasping the Force before. He couldn't concentrate on anything. His head spun, and it was hard to breathe. The room slid in and out of focus.
Weakly, the apprentice pushed himself up to his feet, grabbing the chair next to his bed for support. Using the walls, Obi-Wan slowly staggered through his quarters to the comm in the common room.
He sent the emergency call to the Healers, and set it on repeat before blackness enveloped him.
Qui-Gon was in the middle of his report when an initiate entered the Chambers. "Excuse me, Masters. Master Jinn, the Healers have been trying to contact you on your comm."
"Thank you," he said to the initiate. "Please, Masters, excuse me." He had turned his comm off, not wanting to be interrupted during his session with the Council, thinking that if Obi-Wan needed him for anything, he would contact him through the bond. But if the healers had been trying to contact him, something must've happened to Obi-Wan.
The masters nodded and Qui-Gon bowed himself out into to the hallway. He used his comm to contact the healers.
"Healers Ward, this is Healer Leida."
"Leida, it's Qui-Gon," he said.
"Oh, Qui-Gon," she said. "You need to get down here right away."
He started immediately down the hallway. "Obi-Wan?"
"He sent an emergency page down here. When we got to your quarters, we found him unconscious by the comm," Leida explained.
"What's happening?" The Master's long stride ate up the corridor.
"He's unconscious still. Right now he's running a high fever, and I-" She hesitated.
"Leida?"
"We can't seem to locate him in the Force. He's alive, in a coma-like state, but it's nothing I have ever seen before."
Qui-Gon arrived in the Leida's office as she finished that statement. He tucked his comm back on his belt, and Leida switched hers off. "Can I see him?"
"In a minute," the healer rummaged around on her desk for a pad. "Where have you been, recently?"
"How recently?" Qui-Gon asked dryly. "This is the first time we've been back to the Temple since we were released back to active duty after Lirdra."
"I wondered why I hadn't seen you two in and out of here for awhile," Leida smiled at her own small joke at the pair's propensity for ending up in her care. "How about the last stop, and work back."
Qui-Gon sighed. He released his apprehensions to the Force, so he could focus better on answering the Healer's questions that could help Obi-Wan. "We were on Blelvi last. We came straight back here from there."
Leida made a note. "How long were you there?"
Qui-Gon thought for a moment. "Less then a standard week, three days maybe. It was a simple mission, observing the royal wedding for verification, requested by the Senate."
"Hmm," Leida mused. "The Jedi have a lot of traffic on and off that planet, and there has never been anything like this reported from there before. Where were you before that?"
"Xerxes V, for about two standard months."
"Xerxes," Leida repeated. "I don't think anyone had been there before you."
"We were the first contact they'd had with Jedi," Qui-Gon confirmed.
"Any other contact with humans in general?"
"I don't think so," Qui-Gon answered. "They were contacted by a Carfri survey ship."
"What were his symptoms, before this?"
Qui-Gon thought for a moment. "I can only tell you what I saw. He's still rather hesitant telling me when he doesn't feel well. He'd prefer to suffer in silence."
"Typical teenage boy, if you ask me." Leida said.
"Come to think of it, I think I had to deal with the same thing from Xanatos. Anyway," Qui-Gon got back to the question at hand. "He was sneezing, had a fever that rose this morning, but had gone back down about a couple hours before you called me. He complained of being achy and stuffed up." Qui-Gon shrugged. "That's all I can tell you."
"Okay," Leida said. "We'll start there. Come on, I'll take you to Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan woke to a swirling mist of color; beautiful shades of green, purple, blue, red, and colors never before named surrounded him. The last thing he remembered was staggering to the comm unit and paging the Healers before passing out.
He sat up slowly, expecting the previous dizziness to overtake him, but found it non-existent. His head was clear, and he ached no longer. Reaching out, he attempted to touch the Force, but stopped himself, remembering the fear of having it slip away. [Get a grip] he scolded himself.
Slowly, he extended himself. The Force was there, within his grasp, but far away. All around him was at peace, warm and comforting. A small stream of fear interrupted the soothing calm, and Obi-Wan recognized the signature in the emotion; his Master. With a start, the apprentice realized he was somewhere between the real world and the Force. What he had felt was his Master releasing his anxieties to get past them, and concentrate on what was happening.
//Master?// he sent through their bond, but got no response. //Qui-Gon? Master Jinn!!// he screamed through the Force, but he received no reply.
[Am I dead?] he questioned. [I don't think so. But how can I judge? It's not like I've been dead before. Not that I haven't tried.] he thought bitterly. He remembered back to the lessons of his initiate days. He had been taught that when he passed into the Force, he would be greeted by those Jedi that had gone before him.
[Okay, no Jedi] he reasoned. [So I'm not dead.] He decided not to question how his teachers, who were very much alive knew he would be greeted by dead Jedi when he died. [Am I in limbo then?]
The question seemed to answer itself as the mist directly in front of the apprentice parted, allowing him a glimpse into the world he had departed. He could see his body, lying on a bed in the Healer's Ward, hooked up to various tubes and wires and monitors. His Master was strangely absent. There had been very few times when he had woken up in a hospital to have his Master not at his side.
He found he could hear what was happening in the room, as Qui-Gon entered behind Leida. Obi-Wan watched his Master hesitate at the door, stricken at the sudden condition of his apprentice.
"Master!" Obi-Wan cried out, vocally and through the Force. But there was no answer. He listened to Leida explain what the healers were doing to help, and what the prognosis seemed to be. He watched as his Master found a chair and sat at the bedside of his body, ready to be there when the boy woke up.
Qui-Gon sat at Obi-Wan's bedside, holding the boy's left hand firmly, but gently, in his own. An IV dripped fluids into the arm above the hand that Qui-Gon so desperately clung to, just above the scar below his elbow, the evidence of a depressed 14 year old's attempt to take his own life.
Qui-Gon knew that Leida had given Obi-Wan the option of removing the scars, but the apprentice decided to keep them, for his own reasons. Qui-Gon ran the fingers of his free hand over the smooth, lighter-colored skin. His apprentice deftly changed the subject when asked about them, and it took Qui-Gon some time to realize that Obi-Wan didn't want to tell him why.
The Master watched his Padawan's chest rise and fall in time with the soft hiss and whir of the respirator. The day after his emergency call to the Healers, Obi-Wan's lungs began to shut down. Qui-Gon watched helplessly as Leida hooked him up to a machine to keep him breathing.
After his lungs began to fail, the Healers reported that other organs were also slowly shutting down. There had been no success locating the boy in the Force. While Leida kept at her research, with her apprentice, Bant, Obi-Wan's best friend, working just as tirelessly, Qui-Gon kept up his vigil.
For two days, he hadn't moved from Obi-Wan's side, keeping up a one sided conversation and searching through the Force for his Padawan.
"Obi-Wan, I never told you about my suicide attempt last year," Qui-Gon started, knowing he probably wouldn't be heard, but wanting to say the words.
Obi-Wan stirred in his vantage point, becoming more attentive at his Master's words. He had never told his Master he knew about it; why would Qui-Gon bring it up now? He settled in to listen as Qui-Gon continued.
"I hadn't even thought about it for awhile, until you said something, muttered rather, since you were unconscious at the time." Qui-Gon continued to hold the boy's hand tightly and let his eyes close. "It wasn't that I tried to hide it from you, but that I never felt there was a good time to bring it up. I didn't even know that you knew."
Qui-Gon sighed. "I meant to talk to you about it, after we were released from the healers, but you were still healing, and I didn't think it would be good to add to the burdens you already carried." Tears slipped from beneath the Master's closed eyelids. "After your heart stopped in the hallway, on the way to the Healer's, I realized how close I had come to losing you. And how much I needed you by my side."
Obi-Wan's heart clenched. He never realized how much pain he had caused his Master that day. He'd only wanted to make Qui-Gon's life easier, to not burden him with an apprentice he never wanted. But things had gotten better since that day, the day Obi-Wan had cut his wrist with a ceremonial dagger from his homeworld. But he never forgot. And Qui-Gon had made it a point to tell him how much he was loved, after that. And he believed it.
"And then, you woke up in the ward, and didn't want to see me," Qui-Gon continued, breaking into Obi-Wan's thoughts. "All I could think of was how much of a failure I had been, as your Master. I failed to see the distress you were in, the hurt you were carrying. After my failure with Xanatos, and then my perceived failure with you, I decided my life wasn't worth continuing. I got myself good and drunk, but thankfully, Mace came by and talked some sense into me."
Obi-Wan's heart almost broke at the words. To feel his Master in so much pain...
"He told me what would happen to you, if I killed myself. And I couldn't let my failure destroy you any further."
Obi-Wan listened to his Master's confession with a heavy heart. He had known what his Master had experienced when he attempted to take his own life. He had seen the memories, while his Master was trapped inside his own mind, his body ravaged by fever, living in a world where Obi-Wan had succeeded in his own attempt. The apprentice had felt the incredible amount of guilt his Master was carrying. He knew this confession was good for the older man. They hadn't ever broached the subject, even after a year and half.
"It wasn't the first time either," Qui-Gon continued quietly, breaking into Obi-Wan's thoughts. "No one knew about the first time, except Master Yoda, and the healers. I never told anyone."
Obi-Wan felt the wave of shock emanate from him disturb the calm around him. His Master had always been such a strong man. While he had considered killing himself the year before, he hadn't gone any farther than to get good and drunk, Obi-Wan knew. But Qui-Gon had seriously tried to kill himself before that? The admission shook Obi-Wan, but he listened patiently.
"When I was a couple years older than you are now, Master Yoda sent me on a solo mission, feeling that I was ready for the responsibility. But I think Yoda knew I would fail, the Force told him. I don't think he anticipated how hard my failure would impact me.
"It started as a simple escort/protection detail. I was to escort the newly elected senator from Milhava to Coruscant. He needed protecting from a dissident group that was opposed to the Republic.
"Things seemed to be going okay, until we got to the shuttle bay. The dissidents surrounded us; we were caught off guard. I should have been more focused, paying more attention to the moment," Qui-Gon trailed off, obviously, to his Padawan's eyes, shaken at the memories even more than three decades later.
"We-I-managed to get the Senator aboard, but not before the dissidents got to the engines. The ship exploded while still on the ground. The Senator, mere inches from my side, was killed instantly. I was thrown clear.
"But I was badly injured. I don't remember anything after the explosion until I woke in the Healer's back here at the Temple, a very worried Master Yoda staring into my face." Qui-Gon almost smiled at that memory. "It's one of the few times I remember him being worried or scared for me. One of the other times was about a week later, when he found me passed out on the fresher floor after I took my entire bottle of pain killers."
"Worried for you then, I was, as now also." Qui-Gon jumped slightly, not having sensed his Master's presence.
Obi-Wan had seen him standing in the doorway at the beginning of Qui-Gon's tale, but the tall Master hadn't even noticed his former Master's presence.
Qui-Gon straightened at the gravely, backwards words and tried to hastily wipe the tears from his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Master. I didn't hear you come in."
"Expected you to, I did not, Padawan." Yoda entered the room slowly, his stick tapping softly on the floor. "Worried about you, I am. Lost one apprentice, you have. To watch you lose another, I could not bear."
"I can't do this again, Master," Qui-Gon said, sounding much like the young boy Obi-Wan imagined him to have been when Yoda had taken him as his last apprentice. "I can't sit here, not knowing. I can't lose him," he whispered.
Yoda patted his knee. "Rest you need, Qui-Gon. Any sleep have you gotten?"
"A little."
"Teach your Padawan to lie to Masters you do?"
Qui-Gon sighed. "I can't sleep. When I close my eyes I keep seeing Obi-Wan laying on the fresher floor in his own blood." He took a breath. "I keep feeling that I'm going to outlive him, that he's going to leave me without letting me say goodbye." He paused. "I don't want to leave his side."
Yoda nodded. "To sleep here, you will try. Wake you, Leida will," he urged.
"I will try, Master."
Yoda patted Qui-Gon's knee again and hobbled out of the room, leaving an exhausted Master staring at the body of his apprentice, who watched the whole scene play out from above.
Leida stood quietly in the doorway, watching Qui-Gon watching his apprentice. The news she had to deliver was heartbreaking, and she hesitated to perform this most despised task of a healer. When the Master stirred, Leida knew he was awake, and she softly made her way to his side, grabbing a nearby chair.
Twisting her auburn hair, more red than brown, over her shoulder so she wouldn't sit on it, she sat the chair in front of Qui-Gon, but he didn't look up. The healer settled herself, and leaned forward to touch Qui-Gon's arm, the one attached to the hand that clung to his Padawan as if his life depended on it. [And it just might] she thought as she spoke aloud, "Qui-Gon?"
He slowly turned to face her, as if in a daze, seeing but not seeing. He blinked rapidly, bringing himself back to the real world. "Leida?" She could feel him bring himself around, focusing on her, latching his gaze onto hers.
The healer heard the pleading in his voice, the one word betraying his desperation, that last bit of hope he held in his heart that his apprentice would survive this, and many more days. Leida took a deep breath, and folded her hands in her lap. Although she did her best to keep her expression schooled to compassionate neutrality, she knew her large green eyes had to be flashing the conflicting emotions she felt; sadness, anger, frustration and helplessness at not being able to do more. She was never able to control her eyes.
"We've managed to isolate the cause of his illness Qui-Gon, and that's allowed us to come up with a cure." She would not beat around the bush with this.
"But?" Qui-Gon prompted, apparently hearing her hesitation and feeling that there was something more.
Leida placed both her hands atop Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's. "But I'm afraid it's too late," she admitted quietly.
Silence, save the hissing of the respirator loomed over the room like a storm cloud until Leida spoke again. "Most of his organs have already shut down. His heart is rapidly weakening. There isn't anything more we can do at this point. His body is successfully fighting the infection, but without his presence to sustain his organ function, there is little we can do. If we'd gotten to him earlier." she trailed off, her own failure haunting her. She'd had to sedate Bant; the poor Calamarian girl was hysterical when she realized it was too late to save her best friend.
She wouldn't have to sedate Qui-Gon; quite the opposite. She was afraid she was going to have to reanimate him. She watched his face pale farther at the news, his shoulders slump a bit more, his head drop in despair and failure.
"I'll leave you alone." She rose, squeezing the hands under hers before walking silently away, leaving Qui-Gon to say goodbye to his Padawan.
Qui-Gon closed his eyes and released his feelings to the Force. [Please don't take him from me. It isn't his turn yet. There's too much that's gone unsaid between us. Too much that I have to teach him. He hasn't had a chance to fall in love, to have his heart broken. He hasn't seen a child brought into the universe. So many things he has yet to experience. He hasn't known the love of another, true love, true passion. How another could look upon him and feel awed by the goodness in his soul.]
Suddenly, his thoughts turned selfish. [I've lost one Padawan, please don't take another. Which would be worse, to the Dark side, or to the Force. Please don't make me find out. I shouldn't have to outlive my best friend, my son and not my son, my companion, whatever else he might grow to be. Just let him come back to me,] he pleaded with the Force, with himself, with no one. [Why do I have to say goodbye, without being able to see him alive one last time. One more look into those sea-blue eyes is all I want. To hear him say he loves me one last time. To tell him one more time, that I love him. And that I more than love him. That there are times when he feels like the other half of my soul. Force, please....]
Tears rolled unchecked down the Master's cheeks. With nothing left to say, he lay his head down next to Obi-Wan's on the bed and wept silently.
Obi-Wan watched his Master weep at his side and wished there was something he could do to comfort the older man. But the portal at his feet that let him observe was slowly starting to close, and Obi-Wan truly knew the end was near, that action backing up Leida's words. He needed to say goodbye.
He gathered the strength he had and focused on his Master's presence, the faint life force of his rapidly weakening body, and the Force that surrounded him to make one last effort to speak with his Master.
//Master?// Obi-Wan felt like he was calling from a far away distance, stretched across eternity, trying to reach his Master one final time.
//Obi-Wan? I'm here//
Obi-Wan could feel the hope in his master's mindvoice. //Goodbye Master// Obi-Wan's voice sounded even farther away, even to his own ears.
//No Ben! You can't go, I won't let you!// Qui-Gon cried out.
//You won't let me?// Obi-Wan had to smile despite it at the old joke between them.
//Obi-Wan you can't leave me now.//
//I'm sorry Master. There isn't much time. I had to come back for a moment. To say thank you. And tell you that I love you// With each word, Obi-Wan felt his voice and presence grow fainter and fainter, until the last words came as a whisper, barely registering with the sobbing Master. Obi-Wan faded back into the in between place, ready now to pass on to whatever would greet him.
//NO!! Obi-Wan please come back! Force, bring him back. Let it be me, oh please let it be me!//
The monitors at Obi-Wan's side began to wail as the young man's heart finally stopped beating.
God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there
He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home
He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son
The summers die
One by one
How soon they fly
On and on
And I am old
And will be gone
Bring him peace
Bring him joy
He is young
He is only a boy
You can take
You can give
Let him be
Let him live
If I die, let me die
Let him live, bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home
Leida and another healer came running at the screech of the monitors, their long white coats, symbols of the healing arts trailing behind them. Qui-Gon still sat, tears streaming down his face, one hand pressing the hand of his apprentice to his cheek, the other resting on the chest that still rose with the aid of the respirator.
Tearing his eyes away from Obi-Wan's pale face, he turned to Leida. "Please," he rasped, pleadingly. "Don't let him go. Not yet."
Blinking back her own tears, Leida placed her hand over Qui-Gon's on Obi-Wan 's chest. "I'm sorry, Qui-Gon. There's nothing more we can do."
"No!" Qui-Gon jumped out of his chair. "There is! I know there is, I can feel it, the Force is telling me to do something! Please Leida, just keep him alive."
Leida knew it was futile to keep Obi-Wan's body alive, and it would make it just that much harder on Qui-Gon when the time finally came, but she feared upsetting him any farther. And keeping the apprentice's heart beating for a while longer gave her more time to come up with something that might help. She could keep most of his organs functioning indefinitely, but it was the ones she couldn't that worried the healer.
"Okay, Qui-Gon. Sit back down," she softly pushed him back into the chair. She and the other healer set about hooking Obi-Wan up to another set of machines, keeping his heart beating for a little longer. Satisfied all was working, she dismissed the other healer with a nod, and pulled a chair up next to Qui-Gon.
"Qui-Gon," she said hesitantly, wanting to explain, but not sure how. "We've got him on a machine that will keep his heart beating, but not indefinitely. The infection seriously damaged the muscle. There will become a point where the tissue in the muscle will give out. When that happens, there is nothing we can do. Without his consciousness in his body to sustain it, and keep the organs functioning, there is nothing more we can do." Leida knew she was repeating herself, but she wanted to be sure her words were getting across to the rapidly deteriorating Master.
Qui-Gon nodded, his eyes not leaving his Padawan's face.
Leida sighed. "I want you to leave for awhile, Qui-Gon. Go and grab a shower, and a bite to eat." She hoped that the Force would tell him to do the right thing if he had a chance to get out and clear his head. "You need to get out of here."
"But you said."
Leida cut him off. "He is stable for now. Don't make me get Mace in here. Just take a break, you're allowed." She was worried she might have to resort to a mind whammy, and given his weakened state, it probably wouldn't take much. "An hour, Qui-Gon. That's all."
A shower was sounding appetizing to the long haired Master. His scalp was beginning to crawl after several days of not being washed. Yes, a nice long hot shower was sounding pretty good. "Okay," he acquiesced. "I'll go. You'll call if anything changes?"
"Of course Qui-Gon," Leida soothed. "Now go on."
She led him out of the ward and pointed him in the direction of his quarters before returning to her office and placing a call to Master Yoda concerning Obi-Wan, and the condition of his last Padawan.
Obi-Wan was confused. He was still surrounded by the beautiful swirling mists of color, warm and comfortable. But he had heard the wailing of the monitors attached to his body, and had seen Leida run in before the portal had closed. Surely that meant his time in limbo was over?
But no long dead Jedi had come to greet him, to take him into the Force. [What's happening?] Obi-Wan thought. [Am I stuck here forever?] Dying and passing into the Force didn't scare him, all Jedi were prepared at a young age, taught that death is the next step in life and is not something to be feared. He knew that his Master and his friends would find him there, when it was their turn. But to be stuck, alone, in this place, for eternity was frightening, he didn't care how warm and comfortable it made him feel.
[Don't jump to conclusions, Kenobi] he told himself firmly. [Just wait. Have patience, like Master Qui-Gon is always saying.] Settling back, Obi-Wan tried to find peace within himself, and await his fate.
Qui-Gon entered his quarters for the first time in many days. The desire for a quick shower and a dash back to Obi-Wan's side was overwhelming. His place was at his apprentice's side. But he knew Leida was right. He needed a break from the stale, antiseptic healer's ward.
Bypassing the kitchen, he headed straight for his bedroom, hunting up a clean tunic and pants, and other necessary items. Carrying his things to the fresher, he passed Obi-Wan's room, and with amazing strength of will, kept walking to the shower, not entering the room that beckoned. Even passing by, he could sense the-the-Obi-Wanness of that place, and he longed to let himself curl up in the small bed and be surrounded by it.
He placed his clothing on the counter and took a good long look in the mirror over the sink. He noticed the bags under his eyes, but ignored them. After tugging off his soiled tunic he reached into the cabinet under the sink, he pulled out his trimmers, and set to work trimming his beard and mustache.
Qui-Gon turned the shower to hot, letting steam start to build up in the room as he finished undressing and positioned himself under the flow. He relaxed a little as the hot water massaged away some of the stiffness acquired by sitting in the same chair for days at a time, the stiffness that reminded the Master that he was no longer a young man. [No longer a young man...How am I ever going to keep up with Obi-Wan?] he thought, and then flinched with the grief came crashing in after abating for the barest minute. It didn't matter anymore, did it? Obi-Wan was going, and soon he'd be alone again. The fatigue melted from his muscles under the scalding liquid, leaving the Master feeling physically refreshed, but mentally drained.
He closed his eyes and reached out to the Force while he washed his hair, using the time for impromptu meditation. Suddenly, something Leida said came rushing back to him, and an idea started to form in the back of his mind. [I was right,] he thought, as he hurried through the rest of his shower. [The Force was telling me there was something more to do.]
Details started to form in his mind as he toweled dry and pulled on the clean clothes. He wrung most of the water from his hair, and combed through it quickly, wincing when he caught the knots formed from too many days of not being brushed. Slipping a band around his wrist, he exited the fresher in search of his boots.
Qui-Gon burst into Leida's office, his hair loose about his shoulders and still damp from his shower. "I have an idea," he interrupted the conversation between Yoda and the head Healer.
Leida looked over the tall master. The days of sitting at Obi-Wan's side had taken their toll. His dark blue eyes, which shone with renewed intensity at this idea of his, had dark circles under them, contrasting drastically with the paleness of his skin from worry and tension. His robes hung from his normally muscular, but slim frame, growing slimmer from lack of food. He wavered slightly on his feet from exhaustion and low blood sugar.
"Sit down you will, before fall over, you do," Yoda ordered.
Qui-Gon took the seat next the diminutive green master and spoke at Leida's nod. "You said you isolated the cause of Obi-Wan's illness, yes?"
"That's right," the healer answered noncommittally, tucking an errant strand of her long hair behind her ear.
"Is it possible to engineer it to skip the first stages and proceed straight to Obi-Wan's condition?" Reminded of the state of his own hair at Leida's gesture, he began to work it into the style he preferred; the front half pulled back from his face while the back hung loose.
"It's possible," Leida said slowly, picking up on where he was going with his idea.
"Thinking, what are you?" Yoda looked between the two for answers.
"If I can get to where Obi-Wan is now, I might be able to bring him home," Qui-Gon explained as simply as possible. "Meaning," he elaborated at his Master's look, "That if we can engineer the virus to skip the initial presentation and get it to put me in the same condition Obi-Wan is in now, I might be able to get to him." He took a deep breath and continued. "He spoke to me, earlier. It was faint, and I could feel that he's given up. He doesn't have the strength to fight anymore. If I can make myself ill, with whatever he has, and get to where he is, maybe I can help."
"Dangerous this is," Yoda directed to Leida. "Risk them both, it will." It wasn't exactly a question.
"It could be," Leida answered. Qui-Gon knew she was fully willing to try just about anything to bring the boy back. She probably felt if they lost the boy, they would lose his Master; it was just a matter of time before it happened.
"Please, Master," Qui-Gon said. "It's the only option left. I need to try."
"Hmm," Yoda thought. "Try it you will not,"
Qui-Gon opened his mouth to protest but the ancient master continued. "Do it, you will. All precautions, you will take," he added sharply.
"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon and Leida answered in unison.
Qui-Gon settled on the bed that Leida had placed next to his Padawan's. He listened intently as Leida spoke and affixed sensors to his temples.
"I don't know how fast this'll work," Leida explained. "And I have no idea what you should expect. There are likely to be some side effects, since this was a rush job, but I don't know what those'll be either."
"Many uncertainties, there are," Yoda piped up from his place at Qui-Gon's side. The green Master was going to serve as Qui-Gon's anchor to reality, helping his guide Obi-Wan back.
"I understand." Qui-Gon said, releasing his fear to the Force.
"You'll be able to hear Yoda through your bond," she explained as she readied the hypo with the infectious agent in it. Yoda had established a bond with the man he had shared a strong Master/Padawan bond with for more than 15 years. "He will keep you apprised of your physical condition, and tell when we absolutely have to bring you out."
Qui-Gon nodded. "I understand," he said again.
"Ready?" Leida asked, hypo at hand.
"Yes." Qui-Gon winced slightly at the injection of the engineered virus, but said nothing else.
"Meditate, you should. Help you, it can," Yoda suggested.
Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon followed the older Jedi's advice, and settled into a meditative state.
"Now we wait," Leida said, keeping a close eye on the monitors.
Qui-Gon was having a more and more difficult time holding onto the Force to maintain his meditative state. It slowly began to slip out of his grasp, and he held on as long as he could.
Qui-Gon stopped struggling to retain his hold on the Force as it slipped out of his grasp and blackness overtook him.
Yoda watched as the monitors registered an increase in his last Padawan's temperature and as the man became more restless as he fought the internal battle to remain connected to the Force. "Started, it has," he said to Leida.
Leida reacted first at the monitors' squeal. "Brain function matches Obi-Wan's now," she stated. If Yoda heard her, he gave no indication.
At the first sign of change, Yoda had immersed himself into the Force, combining his strength with Qui-Gon's. //Padawan, hear me, I hope you can.//
Qui-Gon could hear Yoda, but didn't reply. He didn't want to waste valuable time and energy trying. He was surrounded by mists of wondrous color, warm, calm, and comforting. Somewhere in the distance, he could feel his Padawan's faint presence.
Something was different. Obi-Wan glanced around furtively. There was a change in the patterns flowing around him. There was someone else there. He could feel the presence, two actually, oddly intertwined. They were far off, but there nonetheless.
//Obi-Wan?// The call was faint, but the boy recognized both the mindvoice and signature of his Master. But who was that, piggybacked? Master Yoda?
//Master!// Obi-Wan called back, relieved.
Qui-Gon drew nearer to his Padawan's presence.
//Hurry you must, Qui-Gon. Beginning to fail, your lungs are// Yoda's voice echoed through their temporary bond.
[Sith!] Qui-Gon swore. [This is taking too long!] //Ben, you must find me. Focus on my presence// he urged.
//I'm trying// Obi-Wan responded, desperately searching through the mists for his Master's presence, hoping it to grow stronger as he grew near. //But I'm so tired.//
Connected through Qui-Gon, Yoda heard the entire exchange. //Give up, you must not, Obi-Wan. Love you, we do. For you to come back, we desperately want.//
Obi-Wan focused on Yoda's voice, and found his Master's presence, shining golden bright like the suns of Ba'hai in the foggy swirls of pale color. //I'm coming, Masters,// he said, his path now clear.
//Quickly, Ben// Qui-Gon urged softly. //There isn't much time.//
//To a respirator, you are hooked, Qui-Gon. A few minutes more, you have.//
Time in the in between place had no meaning. To Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, what seemed a few seconds was an hour to Leida.
Obi-Wan drew closer to his Master's presence. Almost there, and the presence began to retreat again, enticing him to follow.
//Administering the antidote, to both of you, Leida is.//
//NO!// Qui-Gon shouted. //I need more time!//
//No more time, there is// Yoda said sadly. //Beginning to fail, Obi-Wan's heart is.//
Obi-Wan heard the urgency and sadness in both their voices and moved as quickly as he could, feeling drawn in two different directions; towards his Master, and to whatever would await him on the other side of the colored mists. //Master, help!// he called.
[There!] Yoda felt a small shimmer in the Force that no one had felt in days. [There, the boy is.] //To Obi-Wan I am going// he said to Qui-Gon. //Come back now, you will//
//Yes Master// Qui-Gon said in relief. He felt his Master retreat from his mind and he stopped fighting the pull he felt, luring him back to his body.
Obi-Wan felt a small bond form with Master Yoda. //Help you back I will.// he heard.
//Yes, Master// Obi-Wan replied.
Through their bond, Yoda felt the conflicting pulls. //Strong we must be, Padawan. All our strengths we need.//
Obi-Wan didn't respond, just added as much pull in the direction Master Yoda indicated as he could. The struggled for what seemed like an eternity before there was no more fight to be had.
//Home, you almost are. Alone you must continue. To a ventilator, you are hooked. Fight it, do not.//
//Thank you, Master Yoda// Obi-Wan could sense his own body and returned to it gratefully.
//Welcome you are, young Kenobi// Yoda's voice resounded through their temporary bond, and then was gone.
Obi-Wan woke, remembering Yoda's words about the respirator. His eyes fluttered open, blinking the tears away at the harsh (to him) lighting. His hand was clenched in one much smaller than his own. Turning his head to the side, the movement restricted by the tube down his throat, he found Master Yoda sitting between him and Qui-Gon, who was laying in his own bed, sleeping.
"Obi-Wan?" Leida was at his side, her long hair falling over her shoulders. "Your lungs are still very weak so I'm going to leave you on the respirator for a bit longer, okay?"
Obi-Wan blinked once, to let her know he understood. Catching her big green eyes, he deliberately looked towards Qui-Gon.
"Qui-Gon's going to be fine, Obi-Wan," She said, taking the hand Yoda didn't hold. "He's breathing with a mask, since his lungs were having a little trouble, but don't worry."
He blinked again, then deliberately closed his eyes and opened them wide.
"I guess it's a pre-requisite the healers be good at charades," Leida said with a smile, earning a small one from Obi-Wan. "Yes, you can wake him, but not for too long, you need your rest, and so does your Master."
Obi-Wan blinked once more in acknowledgement, then closed his eyes and reached out along his bond with Qui-Gon. //Master?// he sent timidly, but with enough strength to wake the older man.
//Obi-Wan?// Qui-Gon's eyes opened immediately, and he sat up slowly, looking at his apprentice. He slipped the mask off. "Padawan, are you okay?" he rasped.
//Yes, Master// he sent.
Qui-Gon felt tears come to his eyes at the mental contact. Yoda moved to his side and replaced the mask without a word. //I'm glad, Padawan.// He knew Obi-Wan must be exhausted. Force knew he was, and his struggle was much less than that of his young apprentice. //Sleep, Ben. We can talk later.//
Qui-Gon needn't have bothered. The young man was already fast asleep.
Obi-Wan walked Qui-Gon back to their quarters slowly, his arm wrapped around the taller man's waist for mutual support. Obi-Wan was still very weak, but he wanted out of Leida's care.
A conscious week in the ward was all he could handle. After much whining, pleading, and begging, Leida relented, letting the Master and healing Padawan go back to their own quarters, only if she could stop in and check up on them every day, sometimes twice, until she was satisfied all was well again. Obi-Wan's lungs were still a little weak, but he was well on the mend.
The pair had to stop every couple minutes, to let Obi-Wan catch his breath, while Qui-Gon sniffed quietly, trying not to draw attention to himself. Although Leida had been able to quickly engineer Obi-Wan's disease to skip the initial presentation for Qui-Gon, she warned there might be side effects; Master Qui-Gon Jinn would soon be suffering from the worst head cold of his life.
Qui-Gon settled Obi-Wan on the couch and headed for the kitchen to brew tea, trying to ignore the growing pressure in his sinuses, and the increasing intensity of the tickle in his nose. As the teakettle whistled, he sneezed a couple times, muffled by the handkerchief pressed close to his face.
He returned to the common room, sniffing lightly, carrying two cups of tea. [Is it cold in here?] the Master wondered as a chill passed through him. He spied Obi-Wan resting, his eyes closed, head titled back on the couch, arms wrapped around himself. Qui-Gon set the cups on the low table and sat close to his apprentice. "Obi-Wan?"
The apprentice lifted his head.
"How're you feeling?"
"Okay," Obi-Wan wheezed. "A little tired."
"Padawan," Qui-Gon said, quietly warning. "Don't hide from me, especially about your health. Promise me you'll never do that again."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said somewhat sheepishly.
"I'm not angry, or upset, Ben," Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan close against him in a hug. "You had me very worried. I was afraid I'd lose you."
"I'm sorry Master," Obi-Wan said into his Master's tunic. He pulled back after a moment and adjusted himself so he was resting his head on his Master's shoulder. They shared a companionable silence, sipping tea for a few moments before Obi-Wan spoke again.
"Master, what would you have done...if I had died?" When he hazarded a glance into his Master's face, he quickly apologized. "I'm sorry Master, it' s none of my business and." he trailed off.
"Obi-Wan, what made you ask?" Qui-Gon asked gently, letting Obi-Wan know with his tone of voice and a soft mental touch that he wasn't upset.
Obi-Wan looked at his hands. "I heard you, in the healer's ward, talking about when you... you..." he couldn't bring himself to say the word suicide "...tried to hurt yourself."
"You could hear me?" Qui-Gon repeated.
Obi-Wan nodded.
"But you already knew, didn't you, Padawan?" It wasn't a question.
"I knew about last year. I saw it, when you were delirious, thinking I had died." Tears formed in the young sea-green eyes. "But I didn't know about the other," he whispered.
"Very few people do, Obi-Wan. Only you, Master Yoda, Leida, and Mace," he said, drawing the boy close again. "It's not something I am proud of."
"It scared me," Obi-Wan said suddenly. "I was afraid of what you might do, if I was gone. I didn't want to leave you, because, I thought." he couldn't finish the thought, tears leaking out from closed eyelids.
"Ben, look at me," Qui-Gon urged, his bright blue eyes also shining with unshed tears. "I'm going to make you a promise, although it's one I hope never needs to be upheld. If there ever comes a time, that you pass into the Force before me, I promise you, I will not seek a path to follow you. I owe you much more than that, Padawan. I never want you to feel scared like that for me again." Qui-Gon let his tears fall then, and Obi-Wan snuggled closer in his Master's arms.
"Thank you, Master."
They sat in silence again, for a while more, and Qui-Gon finally asked a question he'd been longing to have an answer to for over a year.
"Obi-Wan, I want to ask you a question. You don't have to answer it, but I would like to know."
"Yes, Master?" Puzzled eyes turned to still sad ones.
Qui-Gon pushed the left sleeve of Obi-Wan's tunic back and ran his fingers over the discolored raised skin there. "Why?" A simple question, but there were no simple answers.
Obi-Wan glanced to his Master's hand on his wrist. "I'm not sure how to explain it. I just felt like it was something I had to do. I serves to remind me, in a way, of what I have to live for, and that no matter how bad things may seem, there are people who love me, and I owe them a better...legacy, so to speak, than to take my own life."
"Thank you, Padawan."
"Master?"
"Just thank you, Ben. I think you'll understand someday."
"I think I already do," the apprentice responded with a small smile. He leaned against his Master and closed his eyes, content, while Qui-Gon stroked his spiky hair.
The ensuing silence was broken by a soft rustling coming from Qui-Gon, who was urgently hunting for his handkerchief without disturbing his Padawan, as a sneezing fit overtook him.
"Master?" Obi-Wan woke from his light doze as his pillow moved from underneath him. He shifted over, to allow Qui-Gon some space.
"'Sokay Ben," Qui-Gon said after blowing his nose. "Leida said there might be some side effects from the infectious agent she used." He sneezed a few more times. "I figured it would be something like this."
Obi-Wan reached a small hand to Qui-Gon's cheek, which looked a little flushed to the Padawan's caring eye. "You're warm," he said, standing.
"That explains the chill then," Qui-Gon said, a smile taking the edge out of his words. He allowed Obi-Wan to lead him to his room, though he protested the entire way. "Obi-Wan I feel fine. It's just a cold, I assure you." Though in truth, Qui-Gon was feeling worse by the minute and longed to fall into bed and sleep for an eternity. Too many sleepless days and nights sitting at his Padawan's bedside had drained him.
The boy pushed him gently down on the bed and began to slowly strip his Master, removing first boots and socks, then sash and tunic. Obi-Wan dug a pair of sleep pants out of the chest of drawers and handed them to Qui-Gon, then left the older man's room.
Qui-Gon changed slowly, all but collapsing under the covers once he was in more comfortable clothes. He was just about asleep when he felt the bed dip and a warm body press up against him. "Mmm. Ben?" he mumbled.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said softly, snuggling against him. "Didn't think either one of us wanted to be alone tonight."
Qui-Gon didn't answer with words, merely wrapping an arm around his apprentice and drawing him close before sliding into sleep.
Obi-Wan returned to his Master's bedroom later in the afternoon, carrying a tea tray and watched the man shift restlessly in bed, trying to find a comfortable position for his aching body and throbbing head. The apprentice knew exactly how his Master felt. He had just escorted Leida out, after her first check up on her most recurrent patients, and confirming what Qui-Gon thought. It was just a head cold, probably a side effect.
"Ben, I'm envious of you," Qui-Gon said, voice scratchy and deeper with congestion, more traces of his slight accent seeping through.
"Why, Master?" Obi-Wan asked, placing the tray on the bedside table and sitting on the edge of the bed.
Qui-Gon sneezed. "Because you felt this bad and didn't say anything. Although you should have," he said, with as much reprimand as he could manage.
Obi-Wan almost smiled, but caught himself before his Master thought he was getting enjoyment out of his discomfort. "Just rest, Master. You'll feel better soon," he soothed.
Qui-Gon grunted and blew his nose again. "Not soon enough." He shifted again in his bed, trying to ease the pulsating in his sinuses enough to fall asleep.
Obi-Wan watched his Master continue to struggle, and then had a sudden idea. "Rest, Master," he said softly, placing a soothing hand on Qui-Gon's forehead. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
Qui-Gon didn't resist his apprentice's Force suggestion. In fact, he welcomed it. His eyes drifted shut as Obi-Wan stroked his head in a reversal of positions from a few days ago.
Obi-Wan knew he hadn't used enough of a suggestion to put Qui-Gon to sleep; he'd only wanted to relax the man, so he would be comfortable without being in a deep sleep. When Qui-Gon's tense body finally relaxed into the mattress and pillows, Obi-Wan quietly stood, collected the untouched tea tray, and made his way back to the kitchen.
Obi-Wan refilled the tea kettle, getting it ready to boil again. In one of the cupboards, he found the peppermint oil Bant had given him to try in his tea. Qui-Gon liked his tea straight and strong, but Obi-Wan preferred something less bitter. He examined the vial. One drop per cup of tea was enough for Obi-Wan's taste. [The teapot holds water for 4 cups. 8 drops then. That should be enough for him to smell, even as stuffed up as he is.] He dropped the clear liquid into the pot and let it come to a boil.
While he was waiting, he hunted up a deep serving bowl and a clean towel from the fresher. The whistle sounded, signaling the water had boiled sufficiently, and a peppermint smell filled the kitchen. Obi-Wan poured the water over the towel, letting it soak up the steaming, fragrant liquid.
He carefully carried the bowl back to his Master's room. Qui-Gon was curled on his side, facing the door, dozing lightly with a handkerchief clutched in one hand. He stirred at Obi-Wan's soft footsteps and his eyes fluttered open. "Ben?"
"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan sat the bowl on the table. "Can you sit up?"
The weary Master struggled, so Obi-Wan helped him raise his shoulders enough to ease off his tunic. Gently, the apprentice laid Qui-Gon back and then sat on the edge of the bed to take his boots off.
"Padawan?" Qui-Gon questioned weakly as his apprentice lifted his shoulders and slid into the bed behind him.
"Shh, Master. Just rest." Obi-Wan sat with his back flat against the wall. Gripping his Master under the arms, he eased him so that he was propped up against the Padawan's chest.
Qui-Gon tensed against the boy's chest, then sneezed weekly. "You should be resting, Ben," he protested after blowing his nose. "I can take care of myself."
"Shh, Master. We'll rest together," Obi-Wan reached for the bowl with the towel in it. "This is going to be hot," he apologized as he placed the towel on Qui-Gon's chest.
Qui-Gon winced at the hot towel's initial impact, but relaxed and let it soothe his aching chest. He inhaled deeply, breathing in the warm, scented steam, easing the pressure in his head just a little. He relaxed further as Obi-Wan wrapped him in his arms after pulling the blankets up as far as he could without covering the towel.
"Sleep, Master." Obi-Wan ordered softly, closing his eyes as well.
Qui-Gon snuggled against his Padawan, warm and alive against his back. He felt the boy's heartbeat, and the soft rise and fall of his chest, and in that moment, he swore they had never been closer. They shared a bond closer than any other Master Padawan team in the Temple. The future was theirs, so long as they were together. What happened to one, happened to the other. //Thank you, Ben, my precious one.//
//You're welcome Master.// The word carried all the connotations, companion, banisher of nightmares, and most trusted friend. //Now, sleep// he commanded with a smile. Qui-Gon's breathing evened out and his head lolled against the shoulder of his Padawan. Obi-Wan sat for a while before falling asleep, content to hold his Master in his arms.
Leida leaned against the doorframe, taking in the sight before her. Master Qui-Gon was asleep, curled up on his side; covers pulled to his chin, his long hair falling over his face, which rested on his Padawan's chest. Obi-Wan was snoring softly, leaned up against the wall, his chin resting on Qui-Gon's head, arms wrapped around the older man. A towel was dropped on the bedside table, as if sleepily discarded sometime during the night, and the scent of peppermint permeated the air. She coughed lightly, but not before digging her ever present holocamera out of her jacket pocket and quietly snapping a couple of pictures.
Qui-Gon, conditioned to coming awake immediately, opened his eyes and glanced around, moving just his eyes. He spotted Leida in the doorway. Smiling at him, she made her way to the chair by the bed.
"Good morning," she greeted with a whisper.
He nodded his greeting as he fumbled for his handkerchief. He sneezed softly, several times, causing Obi-Wan to stir. //Shh, Obi-Wan,// he sent. //Go back to sleep.// He sat up, and moved to the edge of the bed. Gently, he pulled Obi-Wan from his position against the wall, and the boy instinctively curled up on his side and burrowed into the pillow and blankets. Qui-Gon nodded toward the door, and Leida took the hint, retreating to the kitchen to brew tea, while he searched for a clean tunic to put on.
Qui-Gon emerged from his bedroom with his hair pulled back in his customary style, and in a clean tunic, as Leida carried two cups of tea from the kitchen.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, handing him one of the cups.
"A little better," he sniffed. "I think."
They settled on the couch in the common room, talking quietly, not wanting to wake Obi-Wan.
"I heard from Xerxes," Leida started, her eyes shining with good news. "I sent them my findings from Obi-Wan's illness, and they reported back."
"And?" Qui-Gon prompted.
Leida smiled mischievously. "It appears your apprentice got rather stir crazy while stuck there for so long."
Qui-Gon flashed her a puzzled look.
"One of the diplomats' children remembers seeing him sneak out of the building and head to one of the nearby swimming holes. They tested the water there after my report, and found something that matched up with Obi-Wan's blood work. It seems that there is something in the water that is harmless to the natives, but very dangerous to humans, especially Force sensitive ones."
Qui-Gon shook his head. "Leave it to my apprentice to discover something that could prevent many more deaths, accidentally, and at the risk of his own life."
"I only wish I hadn't found it the hard way," a soft voice put in from the doorway. Neither Master had heard Obi-Wan rise.
"So do I, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said seriously, but with a smile. "So do I."
"Mace, hurry! They're on their way back!" Leida prodded the bald Master. "You said you'd have them done a week ago!"
"Something came up that the Council had to deal with," Mace explained patiently as he fitted the corners of two carved pieces of wood. "Besides, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are still an hour out, and that doesn't include landing delays and getting transport back here."
"You didn't route them straight to the Temple?"
"No," Mace answered, still working, his large hands moving with delicate grace of skill. "I knew I needed the extra time, so they're landing almost on the other side of the planet."
Leida laughed and her green eyes sparkled with mischief. Not really reassured, she bounced from foot to foot impatiently.
Mace reached out calmly with one hand and grabbed a handful of the healer's reddish locks. "Do you need a lesson in patience, Master Healer Leida?" he asked with a smile.
"Sorry," she apologized and sat down, pulling her hair out of his grasp and around so she wouldn't sit on it. "I'm just anxious. It's too perfect a Solstice gift for them."
"Where'd you get the pictures?" Mace was putting the finishing touches on the second of two simple, hand-carved wooden frames; custom built for the holos Leida had shown him. The frames held together with the Force and the tongue and notch construction of the wood itself. He'd started them soon after Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had left the Temple for their last mission, when Leida approached him with her idea for a Solstice gift for the pair.
"I took them," Leida said. "Right after they were released last time. Qui-Gon had that nasty cold as a side effect and Obi-Wan was still recovering. I stopped in to check on them in the morning and found them like that."
"And you always have a camera in one pocket and a holo novel in the other." Mace joked, but was right. He handed over the now complete frames. "Here, as promised."
Leida ran her fingers over the wood. It wasn't exactly smooth. There was something engraved into it. She closed her eyes and used the Force to read through her fingertips as she felt the intricate carving.
Qui-Gon Jinn
Master and Padawan
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Hand to Hand, Heart to Heart
"Do they both have the same inscription?" Leida slipped the pictures into the frames.
"Yes," Mace glanced up at the chrono. "You'd better get going. They have probably managed to convince the pilot to drop them here before landing on the other side of the world by now."
Leida nodded, smiling. She placed each framed picture into a simply decorated box. "Thanks Mace," she said on her way out.
She used her healer's override to get into the Jinn/Kenobi quarters, [the ones they use when they aren't in the healer's] Leida mused. She placed a box in each of the two bedrooms, on the pillows. As was Solstice tradition, the gifts were anonymous, but Leida knew the two Jedi would know who was responsible, for both the pictures and the frames.
Her task finished, Leida headed down to the refectory to grab a snack before going back to the ward.
Obi-Wan dropped his small bag on his desktop. It felt good to be back at the Temple, even if they hadn't been gone very long, only about three weeks. The Padawan's bed beckoned, enticing.
Though he had made a full recovery from the virus acquired on Xerxes V, he still tired easily. Obi-Wan hadn't been able to get much sleep on the three-day trip from Wistow to Coruscant; the ship they had traveled on didn't have any cabins, just rows of seats full of various beings traveling to the Galactic Capitol. The apprentice figured Master Windu had a hand in that. Obi-Wan remembered Qui-Gon bragging about a luxury liner that they had caught on one of their last longer voyages and Mace had vowed his revenge.
Obi-Wan pushed a silver and white package off his pillows onto the bedside table and lay down atop the covers, asleep instantly without taking his boots off.
Qui-Gon detoured to the kitchen as his Padawan headed off to his room. The Master leaned against the counter and drank down a large glass of water at once. Placing the glass in the sink, he pushed himself from his leaning position and went to check on a too quiet apprentice. He smiled in the doorway at the sight of his Padawan dead to the world, sprawled on his bed without bothering to take his boots off.
Qui-Gon crossed the room quietly and pulled of Obi-Wan's boots; the young man didn't even stir. Using the Force, the Master levitated the boy he loved and pulled the covers back, placing him back on the bed with the softest handling. Obi-Wan instinctively curled up, hugging one pillow to his chest with one hand, and tucking the other under his head.
"Sleep well, my Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon ran his hand through the spiky reddish hair of his apprentice and dropped a kiss to his forehead. "I love you." The Master noticed a package on the bedside table, but shrugged it off. [It's Solstice, odd gifts start popping up everywhere.]
Obi-Wan mumbled something in response, rolled over and burrowed deeper into the blankets and pillows as Qui-Gon left as quietly as he'd entered.
Turning up the lights in his own room, Qui-Gon hunted around for a clean tunic and pants, so he could shower before meeting with the Council later in the day. He'd let Obi-Wan sleep a little before waking him to freshen up. [Three days on a ship without bathing facilities. What was Mace thinking?] The Master felt as if he had a layer of dirt and filth covering his body and couldn't wait to take a shower.
Finally finding some clean clothes, Qui-Gon sat on his bed to pull off his own boots when he spotted a package identical to the one in Obi-Wan's room. Curiosity overrode the desire for a shower, so he lifted the top off the box and smiled at the picture looking up at him.
He recognized the scene, but didn't realize anyone had taken a picture, and he knew just who that had been, as well as the builder of the frame. When he'd received his Knighthood, Mace had constructed a similar frame for Qui-Gon, in which there was a picture of the two of them, sparring with braids flying.
//Master?//
Qui-Gon must have slipped down memory lane. Glancing at his chrono, he started when he realized it was an hour later. He looked up, and saw Obi-Wan standing in the door, holding a similar frame in his hand, sleep still in his eyes.
"Come here, Ben." Qui-Gon held his arm out and wrapped it around the boy when he sat close to his Master.
They sat in silence for a long while, sharing thoughts and feelings across their ever-deepening bond. Finally, Qui-Gon noticed the time and gave his apprentice a nudge in the ribs.
"Padawan, you better go shower before we have to meet with the Council. It would hardly do to suffocate them while giving our report," he said with a smile.
"Trust me, Master," Obi-Wan said, wrinkling his nose while he stood up, but with a twinkle in his blue green eyes. "You need one just as bad as I do."
"Brat," Qui-Gon launched himself after his apprentice and chased the squealing teen into the fresher where the Padawan barricaded himself and took a long, hot shower.
Obi-Wan came out in clean clothes, his hair still damp and Qui-Gon entered. They were going to be late if they didn't hurry.
Obi-Wan smiled broadly at the yell of surprise that came from the fresher a few minutes later. [Maybe I should have told him I used the last of the hot water?]
The End!