Author's Note: I'm hoping this isn't OT. It's genfic (slash
innuendo, if you want to read it that way) and my first attempt
at humour. Obi-Wan is the main subject of the fic, though, so
maybe this isn't OT...
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, or else they'd be happier.
Warnings: None! No spoilers, no sex, nothing. Enjoy. Sincere
apologies for crossposting.
Spoilers: None.
Rating: G.
Archive: Sure, but give credit.
Summary: The title says it all, really. This is just a plot
bunny I couldn't get rid of.
Feedback: Yes please!
"Master," Obi-Wan said as he read the return address on a
message cube, "what is the OWEB?"
Qui-Gon's eyes widened in horror. "The OWEB? Obi- Wan,
let me see that!" Obi-Wan handed over the seemingly harmless
message cube. His Master pressed a button on the side of it and
a hologram of a beautiful woman appeared.
"Hello, Obi-Wan. My name is Kalia. This is a message to inform
you that I've created the Obi-Wan Kenobi Estrogen Brigade. We
are small, but growing quickly! Thank you."
Qui-Gon was pale, and Obi-Wan could sense him restraining
panic. "Obi-Wan, this is a disaster! I've heard of these
Estrogen Brigades before. They are made up of mobs of insane,
drooling women (and a few men) who go to unbelievable lengths
to pursue the object of their affections! They hold a massive
amount of power!"
Qui-Gon cut himself off, a speculative look coming into his
eyes even as Obi-Wan's expression took on a dangerous glint.
"Massive amount of power, hmmm?" the padawan said, grinning a
little.
//Later, at OKEB headquarters//
A number of women (and one man) lounged on various couches,
bean bag chair and the floor. Posters featuring and pictures of
Obi-Wan cut from magazines (including the official poster
magazine) were hung on the walls. Six copies of the Obi-Wan
action figure were posed in different parts of the room, and
there were two still in their boxes. A bookcase had the Phantom
Menace novelization with the Obi-Wan dust jacket on prominent
display, with stacks of magazines (uncut copies of the mags
that had contributed to the walls) to either side. In the place
of honor, on a pedestal in the center of the room, stood an
advance copy of the Obi-Wan Kenobi doll (don't ask how they got
it).
The sudden and explosive opening of the front door broke their
quiet murmurs. The women (and man) gasped as Qui-Gon strode in,
and were then frozen in delighted shock as Obi-Wan followed
him.
"Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I was hoping you would do a
favor for me," Obi-Wan said, smiling charmingly and toying with
his padawan braid.
//Later, at Skywalker Ranch//
George Lucas was sitting in his study reading when a harried
secretary burst in. "Mr. Lucas! I tried to stop them, but there
were just too many!"
As the secretary finished speaking, a pack of women (and a man)
led by Kalia stormed into his study. "Mr. Lucas," one of them
said, smiling with mock sweetness, "we've been informed that
there are a few scenes missing from your film, and one very
large mistake at the end..."
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