BALANCE

by Anna (obifan@yahoo.com)

Archive only on M/A and my Homepage : http://home.iprimus.com.au/amacker

Category: angst

Rating: NC17

Warning: contains non-consensual sex

Summary: With Xanatos, one can never be certain just what will be required to achieve any sort of balance...

The transparent wall was a solid barrier to all but light and the visions it carried. Obi-Wan, a slender rope around his throat, unconscious, kept from falling only by my concentration. One slip of control, one wavering of my skill and Obi-Wan's own body weight would snap his neck before I could move to save him.

I had been pressed flat against the glass for hours and I was drenched with perspiration. I shook from exhaustion and the ache that had started as a slight buzz behind my eyes had grown to a throbbing agony. I ignored it - tried to ignore it - to concentrate on the necessity to hold, hold, hold.....

A hand touched my shoulder and Obi-Wan's still body wavered .

"Such dedication, my old Master. Is there anything I can to do to help?"

My breath made silver patterns on the glass. "Release him."

Xanatos removed his hand, pulled a chair to the window and sat. "While he affords so much amusement? The day is young, my Master."

Anger. Ignore it. Concentrate. "Don't."

"What? Call you Master? But you were - oh careful, he's shaking. Remember, you have to center yourself. So many times you told me that. Did I ever mention how much it annoyed me."

"No." I licked my lips, slowly moved my fingers across the glass, leaving damp streaks. "What do you want?"

"What I have. Him, in there, you out here. Perfect balance. Plus, it allows me to find out just how good you are. You were always preaching on about concentration and how a Jedi can concentrate while anything is happening, how it's just mind over body and all that spurious nonsense. I'm curious to see how true that is." I heard the scrape of the chair and suddenly my robe was being lifted, pulled away from me and I raised my hands from the glass, swallowed the shock, buried it under the cold, solid barrier of my most important need. Least line of resistance. Concentrate.

"We Padawans would talk amongst ourselves while you Masters were away," Xanatos said in a reminiscent tone as he dropped the robe to the floor. "About all sorts of silly things but especially about sex. Being young and healthy we were all very curious. Particularly about our Masters. Did they have sex? Did they couple with each other or with strangers, get all sweaty and hot on a bed somewhere? Were they that way inclined at all? We made up some hoary scenarios, I assure you."

I chose not to believe that, not the fact nor the salacious, smutty undertones of his suggestive voice. He was trying to muddy my mind and I ground my teeth together until my jaws ached as the loathsome voice drilled in my ear and a hand moved across my back.

"Some of them thought that you and Windu were a couple, but I disagreed. I wanted you, of course, in a very immature, fantasized way. Me, the slender, dark Padawan, you, the strong, tall, powerful Master. Oh, I had all sorts of wet dreams about you dragging me off on some primitive planet somewhere and getting basic. You never did, of course, you were much too proper. Too centered. Much too balanced."

His tone hardened as both hands reached around to pull my tunic open, the force of his movements pulling me backwards and I whiplashed against the glass, banging my forehead.

Obi-Wan jerked down and I gasped as I pushed back desperately, holding him up against the pressure at his throat.

"Please..." I whispered, frightened at last, seeing my own limits in view, uncaring of pride. "Let me..."

"Help him? Surely. You can help him by doing exactly what you're doing. I'm of a mind to test those youthful fantasies."

He kicked my legs apart and I realigned my balance, steadied my palms on the glass as Xanatos pulled the belt and sash away from me and tugged my leggings down to lay over my boots. Think, don't feel! I could fight back, even unarmed as I was - but to do that I would need to turn around and that move would cost Obi-Wan his life. Hardly a fair exchange.

"He's probably the same as me, you know."

Defensive anger made me twitch under his hand. "Nothing like you. Obi-Wan is..."

"Perfect, yes I know. The perfect Padawan for the perfect Master." Dark emotions swirled between us, his lust, my anger. "But he's human nonetheless and I'd bet my best blaster he wants this as much as I do. Maybe more."

As he spoke he ran his hands slowly over me, rubbed down my back to my buttocks, slid fingers between them. "Not that you would notice, being such a traditionalist. It's one of your weaknesses, Qui-Gon, that you ignore things you don't wish to see or hear. Let's see if you can ignore this . . ."

I bit down on my lower lip, tasted blood as my body was forced open by those hard fingers. I remembered those hands holding a lightsaber when I'd taught a young Xanatos the skills of a Jedi. Now those same hands were doing what no-one ever had for many years, touching me as I'd never wanted to be touched by anyone again.

/ /Except perhaps Obi-Wan.//

Where had that come from? From me? From him along that tattered and ignored link between us? He was insinuating his presence back into my psyche as slowly and carefully as his hand travelled the short path to my centre, pressing me open with so and deliberate care. There wasn't even all much pain. And when one of the fingers touched me deeply, cleverly at the only place that could give me pleasure from that invasion -

"I can sense your ambivalence at my touch. If you don't want me, Qui-Gon, just say so. I'll put you to sleep, go in there and see if Obi-Wan is more interesting. Either way, I get to touch your most sensitive spots. Works well both ways for me."

Electric pleasure sparked in me, no matter how I cursed myself and him in choked mutters. It was difficult, very difficult. Difficult to damp down on that physical response while using so much of myself within the Force to hold Obi-Wan's life. "No. Do what you want. Just - don't - hurt him."

"Ah, as I suspected. You do love him, don't you? Don't you?

Some of the calculated edge had slipped and that small part of myself that I could permit to be separated from Obi-Wan sensed something. . .something sad. Ruined self-image, fragmented pride. He wanted a purpose but everything had failed him. There had been nothing close to perfection in his life since those times when he'd been my Padawan.

He pressed himself against my back, slipped his hands around, under my waistband and was holding me, pushing me forward against the glass as fondled me, He whispered small obscenities in my ear as he rubbed himself back and forth against me. For a moment I wasn't sure what he wanted, was caught between the need to hold Obi-Wan still and the other need, the need that was building in my, that unwanted heat in my loins, incited by his touch.

Slipping his hands up, he tugged my leggings down far enough to slip the now fully aroused organ out through the fabric. Then, in a move that almost cost my Obi-Wan his life, he twisted under my outstretched arms, slid between me and the glass and pressed himself back against me.

Sometime, somewhen, he had undressed himself from the waist down and his warm ass pushed against my cock.

"I want you to take me" he said in a hoarse whisper. "Take me as I wanted you to, back in those innocent days. Pleasure me, Qui-Gon. Give me something of what you would so happily give him."

I swallowed, gasped for breath, shook with the need to concentrate. "I cannot ...cannot just do that..."

"Oh yes you can. It's so easy. You just take this.. " he said, as he reached around and took hold of my penis, "...and you put it in here. .." as he used his other hand to open himself, ". . .and then you push.. .hard. . ." and with that he surged back against me and it was I who was taken as much as he by that hot, forceful thrust.

I looked over his shoulder to where Obi-Wan hung and saw the first flicker of awareness as he began to wake. His body began to twitch and I held onto him tightly to stop him from doing damage to himself. He seemed to recognise my Force-touch, yet it was necessary still to keep him from harm -

And all the time Xanatos held me in place as he moved against me. Some part of me must have enjoyed the feel of my cock buried in that hot, tight place for I hadn't lost the erection. Had, if anything, grown even hard under the extraordinary stimulation. Then one hand came back over his shoulder and took hold of my head, touched my face with just the tips of the fingers. They twitched as they passed my lips.

"It's good, isn't it, my Master? So good."

I knew that he would only have to look through the glass and see Obi-Wan stirring and he'd signal those hidden watchers he'd threatened me with earlier. Tell them to do any of a hundred things that I would be helpless to prevent that would end my Padawan's life before I could prevent it. I need to keep his attention away from that room. Under the circumstances, that was easy enough.

I buried my face in the hair at the back of his neck and bit down on the damp skin at the same moment as I pushed forward to meet his backwards movement. My pelvis slammed into his ass as I drove myself deeper inside him and he screamed in mixed pleasure and pain, arched back against me, sobbed out his desires.

I let my hands slide down the glass and wrapped my arms around him and it became a delicate balancing act as I cushioned Obi-Wan and held Xanatos. My head throbbed with the effort and the sounds I made could have been pleasure. There was even a little of that, a fiery sensation triggered by the heated pressure around my penis sheathed fully inside the thrashing body. I bent him over and pushed him forward until his head was resting against the glass. Then I gave him what he wanted, the most thorough, animalistic fuck of his life.

I must admit, I did lose myself a little in the experience, especially as I felt Obi-Wan come fully awake.

/ /.. .what . . .Master. . . ?!!!!/ /

/ /Careful, Obi-Wan. You're tied about the throat and I am keeping your weight of the rope. Can you feel it?/ /

His thoughts were still groggy but cleared with each passing heartbeat. / /Ah. .yes. .who . .?//

/ /Xanatos. I am keeping him .. .occupied. You must very carefully snap the rope. Can you do that in your current state?//

He sent me a sense of wordless confidence and carefully parted the rope's fibres. When he was entirely lose I felt him take control of himself and I gratefully released my hold on him. He dropped slowly to the floor.

/ /What now? Master . .are you . .doing what I think you are doing? //

/ /Yes. I'll explain later. / / I smiled briefly between thrusts as I sensed his affirmation of that. / /Get to the door and find a way in here. Hurry! / /

As he crouched and moved across to the door I kept my hold on Xanatos. He was moaning and pumping himself and I knew he was very close to climax. So close, in fact, that a moment later he pushed back against me with one final heave and convulsed into orgasm, spilling his seed in creamy ribbons onto the glass.

In spite of everything, the feeling of his muscles contracting around me was enough to generate my own climax - I twisted and felt the blissful relief of pressure as I emptied my seed into him, shuddering with the physical release. I held him for a moment, wondering how it was possible to do what I done and knowing the question would need some serious meditation later. Then he saw the room beyond the glass and pushed me backwards with a heave of his body, spun on his heels and sprinted for the door.

I dove for him - and fell in a clutter of arms and legs, with my leggings tangled about my ankles. He turned at the door again, doubtless sensing Obi-Wan's presence and spat a curse. Before I could move he thrust out his hand, I felt a pulse of Force pressure and the glass shattered, spraying away from us. He leapt forward and somersaulted through the shattered window to the room beyond. Before I could untangle myself he was gone.

Obi-Wan arrived seconds later and helped me up. "Shall I go after him?"

I shook my head as I pulled my clothing together. "No. This place is a warren, he will know it better than us and will have his escape routes planned. It isn't important."

As I retied my belt I looked up to find him studying me, the usual calm intent ruffled, the changeable eyes flashing with some interesting emotion. "Master, did he...did he hurt you?"

"No." I put my hand on his shoulder, felt the young, strong muscles ripple under my hand. "My pride perhaps, but nothing that a good shower won't fix."

We left then, did not see Xanatos again on that occasion, but I knew he had raised questions that would need answering in time. Xanatos had seen something, triggered something in me that I had never suspected was there. It both concerned and fascinated me. Someday soon, Obi-Wan and I would need to talk.

END