Attack of the Midichlorians

by Bant ( bant_ja@yahoo.com )

Archive: MA, others please ask.

Disclaimers: Inspired by TPM and the ATOC

Spoilers: I hope not. Maybe rotten tomatoes thrown afterwards.

Summary: Obi-Wan is disturbed by a nightmare.

Category: Humour

Rating: PG

Notes: This was inspired by Master Fishgoat's Random Ep. 3 Title Generator Challenge. http://www.brunching.com/toys/starwarstitles.html

Thank you to Mali for the beta.

Wheeze, wheeze. The sound of slow, painful intakes of air filled the cave. Obi-Wan stood in the centre, his lightsabre ignited. The green blade cast an eerie glow, but illuminated nothing. Clouds of vapour, overpowering and reeking of stagnant water, wafted upwards, but he took no notice. His entire focus was on the sound of the approaching rhythmic gasps.

Voices, low and steady, barely heard above the pant, rose louder and louder out of the darkness. "Squeeze, in, out. In ... out." His heart beat faster, matching the steady chant. "In ... out. Squeeze, harder, harder." Small glints of light appeared in the darkness, flashing on and off, getting brighter as the noise grew louder. The sound of stamping feet joined the ryhthm. And there was noise, so much noise. A cacaphony of sounds with the steady wheeze and panting filled the air. Flashes of light obscured Obi-Wan's vision but his large dark silhouette towered above his enemies.

Finally, the sound deafened him. Obi-Wan was surrounded. He raised his light sabre above his head and screamed.

"Noooooooooo," Obi-Wan's voice rent the night air and just as suddenly, he woke sitting bolt upright in bed.

Qui-Gon ran into the bedroom, his hair disheveled from sleep. He palmed the lightswitch, momentarily blinding his padawan.

Obi-Wan looked blankly at his master, still disoriented from his vivid nightmare. Qui-Gon gently shook him, trying to bring him to full awareness. Sweat beaded along the young man's brow, his braid kinked back on itself and his breath was heavy with fear.

"Master, you're alive?" he whispered hoarsley.

"Of course I am alive. You've had a bad dream, Padawan."

"It was so real." Obi-Wan held his master's hand close to his chest, reassuring himself with its solidity.

"Master Yoda was there and so was Master Windu and Anakin and Jabba the Hutt and Queen Amidala, but you weren't there."

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

"It was horrible," the padawan's breath hitched in his throat.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Obi-Wan nodded as he wiped the sweat from his face with his sleeve.

"It started on the flight deck on Courascant. We were going to go to Naboo and Anakin Skywalker was tagging along.

"And then many years passed. You were gone, Master, and I was alone." Obi-Wan paused. "So alone," he sighed under his breath.

"Anakin had turned to the Darkside," he started again, his voice determined. "He was more machine than human. And then I was alone in a cave and I could hear the march of boots but I couldn't see. It was so black. I could sense the Dark. There was a whole army of them."

"An army, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon prodded him. Obi-Wan had always been more connected with the unified aspect of the Force. He hoped this wasn't a vision. The future was always in motion, much like Obi-Wan at this moment, who was knotting the bed sheets in his hands.

"Yes, an army. Everyone had exactly the same face. Clones. They were all," Obi-Wan took a deep breath, "Yoda, green and twisted, and they were all carrying concertinas. You could hear them all. Hundreds, no thousands of Yodas chanting in his high squeaky voice, 'In. Out. Squeeze, squeeze!' Calling the march, 'ah... onnah anna tooah', The air sucked in and blown out like a million lungs and the noise. Thousands of different notes but so discordant. And it hurt. I couldn't fight them alone. It was an invasion force.

"Oh Master, it so was awful. A living Sith Hell. The Dark personified. We were being attacked by the mini Accordions!"