Affirmation

by obi-ki

Pairing: Qui/Obi of course

Catagory: PWP, POV

Rating: NC-17

Archive: MA, anyone else please ask

Disclaimers: All things Star Wars, including these two gorgeous men, belongs to the almighty George. I am just borrowing the boyz and will return them when I'm done, hopefully much happier. I write for the sheer joy of it. No money is being made from this.

Author's notes: Thanks as always to Monalee for her great beta/editing skill, though I can never resist those last minutes changes so all mistakes are my own. This is dedicated to Anna-Mae, June and Sybil, who wanted to see more of loving a caring Qui-Gon. Thanks for the inspiration ladies. Hope you enjoy.

Feedback: Please, it's what I live for. Onlist of off at kiowkqgj@yahoo.com

We had barely made it back to our quarters from what seemed like hours of Council debriefing when the door chimed. With just the barest sigh of frustration, Obi-Wan went back to the door. "Good evening, Master Colyia," I heard him say in greeting and turned to see my yearmate stepping through the doorway. "Where is Pau'ul?" Obi-Wan asked in confusion, surprised that his friend had not come to visit with his Master.

"That is what I wanted to talk to you about, Obi-Wan," he replied. The hesitation in Varn Colyia's voice caught my attention and I went to join them as they moved into the common room. I nodded politely at Varn, motioned him to take a seat then dropped into my chair. I could feel the unease and anguish flowing from the other Master and knew that whatever was coming would not be good. Obi-Wan settled on the floor by my chair resting against my leg, apprehension building rapidly within him.

After a moment Varn spoke again. "I know you have just returned from a rather grueling series of missions but I did not want you to hear this in the hallways. There is no easy way to say this so?" he trailed off for a second, struggling to find the right words to share this surely unpleasant information. "Pau'ul has decided to forgo the remainder of his training and leave the Order."

"How?Why?When did this happen?" Obi-Wan blurted out in quick succession.

"It had been building for the past few months," Varn explained hesitantly, "but it came to a head on our last mission. We were sent to Rendili to consider their application to join the Republic. Three days into the talks, the unrest between the two major races on the planet re-ignited. A group of militant Tonay marched into one of the Sonat leader's home villages and slaughtered every man, woman and child in the village. When I offered for us to lead a task force to route out the militants and bring them to justice, we were refused. The Sonat delegate said that revenge for those lost would be taken in an equal strike." Varn's voice was colored with the sorrow he felt at such as a waste of human life and the callousness of a people who would perpetuate such a standard. "We were helpless to prevent both the initial deaths and those that would come in retaliation and he was unable to come to terms with that."

"Where is he? I want to talk to him," Obi-Wan said firmly, his desire to help his friend obvious as he spoke.

The depth of Varn's pain at his apprentice's decision was evident in his voice as he replied. "I honestly don't know, Obi-Wan. He boarded a transport off planet this afternoon but he would not tell me his ultimate destination. I do not think he knows himself."

"Did he leave any messages?" he asked hopefully but Varn shook his head. I could feel Obi-Wan's distress at the news that the young man that had been one of his closest friends since their in the days in the crèche had left without so much as a goodbye. He sat in silence for a few moments then rose to his feet. "Thank you for coming to tell me personally, Master Colyia," he said with a formal bow. "Now if you will excuse me," he added then disappeared without another word into the sanctuary of our bedroom.

Part of me wanted to follow him, to offer him comfort but I knew that he needed time to come to terms with this unexpected news. Plus I could see that Varn needed to talk about what had transpired and I couldn't turn my back on my old friend. So I made tea and as we drank it he relayed in more detail the events that led up to Pau'ul's definitive decision.

Almost two hours later, I had finally bid our guest goodnight and finished going through those messages that needed immediate attention. I secured the door, switched off all the lights and headed into our bedroom. Obi-Wan was attempting to give the appearance of studying, data pad turned on beside him. But the listless form spread over our bed staring unseeing out the window reinforced what our bond had already told me: he was still struggling with the grief and pain of Pau'ul's departure. I had started out onto the balcony to allow him a modicum of privacy when a soft entreaty called me back, "please don't go."

I went quickly to the bed, sat down beside him and caressed his check with my thumb as I sent a wave of love across our bond. After a moment, he turned and met my gaze. "Why can't things stay the same? Why do friendships have to weaken and people change?"

My heart broke at the despair and pain in his voice. I did not want to minimize his feelings but I needed to find away to get him to see that change could be good. "People change, their wants, needs and desires do not always remain the same. It's part of growing, my own." I leaned down and brushed his lips lightly with mine, thinking of the very recent changes in our own relationship. "Without change, we would miss out on so many possibilities. Just think of how much we would have missed if our feelings for each other hadn't changed as you matured, if I always thought of you only as my student and you only thought of me as your teacher."

Joy shone on his face for a moment before his expression darkened once again. "What is it, love?" I asked.

Despair flowed from him as he turned away and spoke so softly that I could barely hear him. "What if your feelings for me change? If you decide you no longer love me or want me?"

I flooded our bond with the love I held for him as I turned his face towards mine. "That is not possible, my own. You are my heart, my soul, my life. You are as essential to me as the air I breathe and the nourishment I take in to sustain my life. The essences of our beings are entwined, to remain joined throughout this life and beyond."

Realization shone in those gray-green eyes as I spoke. He reached up and pulled me down until our mouths were only millimeters apart. "Make love to me, Master. Take away my pain and fill me with your love."

He kissed me with an urgency that had never before colored our kisses but I knew that he needed more than a quick, hard coupling. He needed slow loving touches, a multitude of varied caresses that would tell him in no uncertain terms what his mind refused to believe. He needed proof that he was loved, that I loved him and would never stop loving him. He whimpered when I rose from the bed but let me pull him to his feet. I could feel the tension that still filled his body and that decided my course of action. He had partially undressed when he came into our room but was still clad in leggings and his inner tunic. He allowed me to remove the rest of his clothing and press him back to sit on the bed but balked as I directed him to roll onto his stomach and headed towards the refresher. "Patience, Obi-Wan," I ordered gently before he could voice his objection. "I'll be right back."

I filled a basin with steaming water, gathered some wash cloths, towels and massage oil and headed back to him. I could see him watching me curiously but I put the items on the nightstand without a word and proceeded to remove all of my own clothing. When I was finished, I pushed him to lie flat on his stomach and knelt straddling his thighs. "Just relax, love, and let me take care of you."

He acquiesced with his patented smile and pillowed his head on his arms. Using the Force, I slid the nightstand across the floor until I could reach it comfortably. I dampened a cloth in the heated water and used it to carefully wipe him down. I began with his right hand, cleaning it in gentle, soothing swipes before moving up his arm. Refreshing the towel every few minutes, I continued across his shoulder, down one side of his back to his waist then up the other side to repeat the treatment on his left shoulder, arm and hand.

I rinsed the cloth then slid down his body a bit further to begin again at his right thigh. He arched up his buttocks in an attempt to make contact but I pressed him back onto the bed with a hand on his hip. "All in good time, love." I stifled a chuckle at the groan he released but didn't allow that to hurry my motions. I gave his legs and feet the same treatment and I could feel some of the tension dissipating from his limbs. I moved back up and slid the cloth very briefly over his ass before tossing it aside and grabbing the bottle of massage oil.

Pouring an ample measure into my palms, I spread it quickly over his shoulders and back. I took my time massaging the fragrant fluid into his skin, kneading the muscles thoroughly as I progressed. I concentrated on relaxing and soothing him and I could almost feel him melting into the mattress as the muscles loosened. His arms and legs lay limp on the bed and I knew that if I gave him a few more minutes he would drift off to sleep. I considered it for a moment but tossed the idea away. Sleep could wait for later. Right now, there were more pleasurable ways to help lift Obi-Wan from his melancholy.

Transferring more oil into my palms, I slid up until I was again straddling his upper thighs. I started at the small of his back, spreading the oil onto his skin and massaging the firm muscles of his buttocks. Only this time, my intent was not to soothe but to arouse. My touches became fainter, teasing caresses against his skin, and he began to squirm a bit beneath me. I used a fingertip to trail the tiny bit of oil pooled in hollow of his back into his crease. As that finger reached the opening to his body, I thinned my shields completely allowing the depth of my love for him to flow unencumbered across our deepening bond.

His reaction was almost immediate. A shudder ran the length of his body and he pressed back into my touch while simultaneously opening his mind to me returning my love in equal measure. Our feelings for each other flowed easily between us, intermingling with our passion and desire. My own arousal, which I had kept banked to attend to him, leapt as our minds merged. The places where are bodies touched felt as if they were super sensitized and would burst into flames at any moment.

The combination of sensation and emotion pushed Obi-Wan into action. He turned as far as he could with me straddling his thighs, grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me down until our mouths meshed. The kiss was demanding and intense as if he was trying to eat me alive. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue stroked against mine and he used the slight distraction to flip me onto the bed beside him. He took a quick breath before diving in to kiss me again. I relaxed into the kiss for a moment then wrapped my arms around him and rolled him under me. I pulled back so that I could look into his eyes. "I did have a plan here, love," I chided with a kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Too slow. Want to feel you in my body, the way you are in my mind," Obi-Wan countered.

"You will, but first?," I trailed off, initiating a kiss of my own. I licked at his lips and tasted his mouth thoroughly before moving to an ear. He moaned as I ran my tongue along the whorl of his ear. I nipped at his earlobe then continued downward, kissing a path along his neck. When I reached the pulse point at the base of his throat, I concentrated my attention on it, sucking until I had raised a large circle of color beneath the skin. I soothed it with my tongue before moving on to a dusky nipple. As my teeth and tongue worked it to a stiff peak, his moans were becoming louder and more frequent. He reached for my hair in an attempt to direct my movement but I managed to evade his grasp by sliding lower.

"Qui-Gon, please," he groaned as I reached his leaking shaft and licked away the liquid pooled in the slit. I closed my lips around the head and sucked gently for a few seconds but as I did the tension in Obi-Wan's body increased drastically. Not wanting to undo all my relaxation effort, I released him with one last lick and positioned myself between his spread legs.

After pouring more oil into my palm, I held it teasingly over his chest, unable to stifle my laughter at his whimpered entreaty. "What, you don't want to me finish your massage?"

He grabbed my hand and shoved it roughly between his legs as he growled. "No massage, I want you now." His handsome face wore an expression that was half pout, half scowl, his gray-green eyes were darkened in passion and I couldn't recall ever seeing a more arousing sight.

After a teasing moment of faux contemplation, I coated my fingers and gave him what he had so compellingly demanded. The desire and love in his eyes raised my own need so I put all teasing aside and prepared his body as carefully and quickly as I could. When he was ready, I leaned back on my haunches, pulled his hips onto my thighs and positioned the tip of my penis against him. "Open to me, love," I whispered as I gently pressed into his body.

Being sheathed within his silken flesh was exquisite and I fought to keep from just surging forward. Low moans echoed around the room and I honestly couldn't tell which ones came from him and which ones came from me. Finally, I had sunk fully into him and I held him still in my lap. He wrapped his legs around my back and pulled my mouth down to him. "Love you, Qui," he breathed against my lips before kissing me fiercely.

I rocked my hips up into him in minute thrusts as we kissed, relishing the pleasure of the slow, languid motions. When he released my mouth, I grasped his forearms with my hands and gestured him to do the same. This additional contact gave us a bit more leverage and we rocked together slowly. The position did not allow for any hard thrusts or deep penetration but we didn't care. Bodies and minds joined together so intimately and tenderly, we became totally absorbed in the feelings and sensations flowing between us.

I have no idea how long we continued our slow, languid pace but finally our need built to a point where it wasn't enough. Obi-Wan released his hold on my arms and allowed himself to fall back onto the bed. Unwrapping his legs from around my back, he rested them against my chest and that was all the invitation I needed. The slow pace was replaced by a pounding rhythm that had us both crying out with pleasure.

I barely managed to wrap my hand around Obi-Wan's erection before he was coming, pulses of fluid coating my fingers and his chest. His incoherent moans got louder as the shudders of his release over took him. "Oh...Qui...oh...," was all that I could make out but the sound of him in the throes of passion sent me spiraling closer and closer to the edge. I could feel my sack tightening in anticipation as I stroked into his velvet heat.

Eyes closed and mouth half open, his head lolled back as his tremors abated and he looked more beautiful than anyone had the right to be. The knowledge that this beautiful young man was giving himself so totally to me pushed me over the top, my essence spurting deep into the channel of his body. "My Obi," I moaned as I fought to remain upright.

I had enough presence of mind to push myself off to the side as I collapsed onto the bed. I pulled his sated body into my arms, uncaring of the sweat and sticky fluids that coated our skin. Words were not necessary as we lay intertwined, totally spent but basking fully in the love and devotion we felt for each other. I could feel sleep pulling urgently at both of us, the events of the past tens finally taking their toll. "Love you, always," was whispered against my skin and joy welled within me to a level I had never known. I kissed the top of his sweaty head as I pulled him tighter against me. "Love you, my own," I vowed in return, feeling the matching sense of elation within him.

I knew that we hadn't fully banished the hurt caused by the departure of his friend but we had made a start. Our lives as Jedi were full of pain and sacrifice and I was certain that this would not be the last one the Force asked of either of us. But one thing was certain, as long as we had each other we could face anything that life dealt us. Wrapping us both in firmly in the security of our love, the cares of the outside world faded away as we drifted off to sleep.

The End.