Master Apprentice Archive Accepting Quick search:

Rating: PG

Series: none

Categories: Q/O, angst

Archive: QO, MA

Feedback: Yes, please.

Summary: Response to my line challenge issued on QO-OTP: use "This is difficult to accept, Qui-Gon," from the EP1 novel.

Spoilers/Warnings: If you haven't seen TPM by now, what're you doing here? Click here for more spoilerish credit. Not beta'd. Makes liberal use of Stephen King's creed: Why? Because I can.

Disclaimers: Lucas owns all this, damn his lucky, oblivious heart.

"Train... him," Qui-Gon whispered, his voice echoing in Obi-Wan's heart, over and over again, a mantra in a cavernous void. "He is the One."

Obi-Wan nodded shakily, crouched over the body of his dying master, the bond between them glowing more and more faintly, a dying blue-green ember. He rocked gently, as though Qui-Gon could somehow be lulled out of death. Qui-Gon could not. But the love between them, massive and overwhelming, held the bond open long moments after the master had passed. It was a final connection, a gift from the Force.

Obi-Wan clung to it greedily.

He woke slowly, tears drying on his temples and in his hair, shed as he lay in his bed and dreamed again. He felt certain it was slowly killing him, this remembered pain, and yet it was all he had left: memories of his master's smile, of his warm, sure touch, hurt far more than the memory of his death.

The knight kept his eyes closed, just a moment longer, slowing the racing of his heart by dint of will and clutching at the last vestiges of the dream. In moments like these, he could swear Qui-Gon was still in his arms, the warm, sweet smell of his hair and skin lying lightly on the air. He could almost feel the pulse of the bond. In moments like these, it was as though he could blow a breath on that bond and wake it like the ember it seemed so very like. That was the worst pain of all.

Letting go an aching breath, Obi-Wan finally made the decision to come fully awake and open his eyes.

The most astounding, terrifying sight greeted those eyes: Qui-Gon.

He was smiling with the wise, slightly sad expression of a man who has seen something he expected but does not like.

"Hello, Obi-Wan," he sighed. "My padawan."

Obi-Wan's careful work with his heart came to nothing. A flash of hot adrenaline shot through him. He opened his mouth, staring, shaking his head. A small breath whistled into his lungs from somewhere.

I watched you die, Obi-Wan thought frantically. I watched you die, I watched you die...

Yes, you did, Qui-Gon replied, but offered no theory beyond that, no qualifier, still with that same soft sadness in his eyes. He reached out for Obi-Wan, one large hand seeking to cup the knight's cheek. Obi-Wan flinched. Qui-Gon only shook his head slightly and placed his hand on the side of his former padawan's face.

Shockingly warm and solid, the touch brought crashing home the reality of Obi-Wan's situation. He was in his quarters, in bed. Anakin was in the next room. Naboo had happened months ago, and yet the weight of his master's hand on his skin was real.

"How is it that you are here?" he asked softly in a pained, tight whisper.

"I don't know," Qui-Gon smiled, shaking his head again. "But it feels as though I am waking up from a dream."

"A nightmare," corrected his padawan, brows pinching together. "But--I watched you die. This is difficult to accept, Qui-Gon."

Oh, that name. To say that name again, not into the empty air, but to the man himself...

The sadness in Qui-Gon's eyes redoubled as he pulled his hand away from his padawan's skin. "I understand. But I also understand that I can't go back. I'm here, Obi-Wan. I hope that you will accept in time."

Bright pain flared in Obi-Wan's chest as he registered Qui-Gon's words. "No--wait," Obi-Wan pleaded hurriedly. "Are you really...?" He reached for Qui-Gon's hand and caught it in his own. Yes, it was warm and alive, Obi-Wan could feel it, and yet...there was no difference inside him. The bond, he realized, had never died, Obi-Wan had only stopped feeling it in his grief.

"I have--" Obi-Wan struggled with his words, voice breaking with tears. "I have missed you, Master." He tucked himself into the arms that were now, somehow, open and waiting for him.

Now Qui-Gon rocked, smoothing his padawan's hair, pressing kisses into it, as though Obi-Wan could be lulled out of grief.

Obi-Wan could.

End.