Summary: Obi-Wan deals with the first day of being a Master to
Anakin.
Extra Notes: This is the first part in what was supposed to be
a series of three short fics about Obi-Wan getting over the
loss of Qui-Gon and his growing relationship with Anakin. Of
course being me, I write the first story and the last one but
can't get the middle one written. Luckily they stand-alone
nicely. So, here is the first one. The last story has some
Obi/Ani content (Yes every one is over 18!)in it and I'm
reluctant to post it to this list, considering most are here
for Obi/Qui. If any one wants to read that one mail me,
bunicula@roadrunner.com
Legal stuff: All characters herein are property of George
Lucas. No profit is to be made from this now or in the future.
This story is purely fiction made up for the author's own
amusement. And with any luck some one else's amusement as well.
This was all a terrible dream and he was going to wake up. He
had to believe that if he was going to survive the rest of his
life. Obi-Wan opened his eyes, refusing to turn his head on the
pillow and see what was and wasn't there beside him. The
funeral had been last night. Numbed silence kept him from
screaming out in distress as his Master lay burning on the
pyre. That and the realization that he was a Knight now. He no
longer had the luxury of emotional outbursts. Not in public at
any rate.
Forcing himself to rise and prepare for the day, Obi-Wan moved
across the red tiled floor of the rooms to the window. The sun
was just below the horizon, the sky already filling with blue.
Today would be the parade. He'd encouraged the Queen to go
through with it and she had insisted that he attend. It was the
last thing he wanted to do right now. But he had accepted. What
he most wanted was to be off this planet. Never wanted to
return here again, in fact. There was too much pain here now.
Some how this world was moving on, oblivious to the horrific
turn his life had taken. Obi-Wan mulled over this. Didn't they
know the most impressive, generous and kind man in the galaxy
was gone? Didn't any one feel this?
It had only been three days. Had he ever been away from his
Master for more than three days? The task of tracking back over
time to discover this was enough to keep his mind from the
grief for a few brief minutes. But when he came back to the
present, the realization that he had never been away from
Master Qui-Gon for more than a day only added to the crushing
feeling.
Behind him he felt Anakin waken. Some small part of his mind
already attached to the boy that was to be his Apprentice.
Anakin remained silent, but Obi-Wan knew the boy's eyes were on
him. He'd blindly taken the child back to these rooms with him
after the memorial service. He'd said very little and knew
Anakin was more than a bit uncomfortable. Obi-Wan felt nothing
but duty as he found one of his own tunics for the boy to sleep
in. He'd poured them both cups of tea and they drank in
silence. Then they'd crawled into bed, Anakin curled in a ball
and Obi-Wan lay awake most of the night, listening to the
child's even breathing. Concentrating on it. Yet feeling no
link to this young boy he'd fought with the council for. Even
when the child uncurled from the tight ball and snuggled
against him, the occasional soft snores breathed against
Obi-Wan's ear.
But now, there was something, however small. He knew Anakin was
awake. A part of him wanted to deny this. It's too soon for
another bond. It's only been three days. Yet his entire body
seemed to crave it. Needed something to fill the void that had
been left the instant his Master had closed his eyes three days
ago. His heart told him this was a betrayal, no matter how
small. Disloyalty to the memory of his and Qui-Gon's bond.
With more gruffness in his voice than he intended, Obi-Wan told
Anakin to get up. "Go wash your hair and come back out here. I
need to cut it." Obi-Wan continued to stare out the large
picture window at the rising sun, the waterfalls in the
distance. The sounds of Anakin scampering into the washroom and
then running water filled the room.
He found the small razor edged knife he kept with him and set a
small stool at the center of the bare floors in the outer room.
Anakin came trailing in soon after, the large tunic dwarfing
him and his hair damp, clinging to his forehead.
"Sit." Obi-Wan nodded to the stool. Anakin obeyed, jumping up
on it, a look of resignation on his face.
Obi-Wan didn't allow himself to hesitate on this. He
immediately began to hack off the soft locks of dusty gold
hair. He was quick and precise, having cut his own hair this
way for most of his life. With quick fingers he separated and
entwined the small bit of hair he'd left behind Anakin's ear
into a braid then tied it off at the end with one of the ties
he'd kept from his own braid. The one that Master Windu had cut
from him because his own Master wasn't there to do it.
When he'd finished Anakin blinked up at him and gingerly
touched his spiky hair. "All human Padawans wear their hair
this way." Obi-Wan explained. Anakin slid off the stool, small
tufts of hair lay at his feet. A lump rose in Obi-Wan's throat
at the site. He was so small. Had he ever been that small
himself? And this is the chosen one? This child with no
background in the art of a Jedi, no knowledge of a lightsaber
or even the most simple self defense. And the council had given
this boy over to his hands. Why had they done that? Obi-Wan
couldn't fathom it. It couldn't have been his insistence that
he wanted this boy. The council had to have had a reason beyond
that.
He couldn't bring himself to really care. He had Anakin to
himself now. An overwhelming feeling of dominance washed over
him as he looked down at the boy. You belong to me, he thought,
eyes taking in every inch of the child in front of him.
"Padawan." He whispered before he realized the word had left
his mouth. Although there was a frightening strength in this
feeling of possession he forced it down. Guilt followed. Guilt
at the thought that he had forgotten his Master in that brief
moment. Felt nothing but himself and Anakin.
Liquid blue eyes gazed up at him in confusion. Anakin was
looking uncomfortable again. Shifting bare feet on the floor,
the hem of the long tunic brushing the floor and the severed
hair swirling about the tiles. Obi-Wan watched this in
fascination before realizing Anakin was radiating concern
towards him. A soft touch to his hand as he reached out to him.
Obi-Wan jerked his own hand away and turned. "Some clothes were
left for you by the door. Put them on. I'm going to wash up
then we'll find something for the morning meal."
Just after noon Obi-Wan stood on the landing with the rest of
those being honored and watched as the celebration went on
around them. He spared a smile for the Queen. Behind him most
of the Jedi council stood. Beside him was an uncomfortable
looking Anakin in Jedi tunic and very recently sheared hair.
The boy continued to glance up at Obi-Wan every few minutes,
seeming to need reassurance. He had very little to give.
The day passed slowly. When at last the Queen left the
celebrations for the evening, Obi-Wan made his excuses and left
for his rooms. Tomorrow they would leave, as early as possible
if he had his way.
Something nagged at him as me glided down the long halls to his
rooms. Anakin. He'd forgotten the boy. With a strangled curse
he turned, heading back out to the gardens where the final
festivities were winding down. No one had seen the boy
recently. Obi-Wan pushed aside the panic that threatened. He
made a circuit of the gardens. Some small part of him knowing
that Anakin was fine.
After an extended search he found the child some distance from
the main gardens. Concealed under a large tree with drooping
branches. His back pressed to the trunk, his head on his arms,
which were wrapped around his knees. A gentle breeze was
blowing, making the branches sway and throw shadows across the
small form.
Clearly Anakin was in need of comfort. He'd lost his mother and
his mentor within days of one another. But Obi-Wan could hardly
comfort himself much less another. Standing in the darkness he
watched and listened to the boy's tears.
"He thought I could train you. Even the council thinks I can."
Obi-Wan blurted out. Anakin sat up, startled at the voice. He
quickly wiped at the tears and turned to Obi-Wan.
"You can." Anakin stammered, his voice betraying the threat of
more tears. Obi-Wan knelt on the grass in front of Anakin,
looking the boy in the eye. He sounded so certain of himself,
despite the tears. He touched the spiky hair then dropped his
hand and shook his head.
Anakin looked away. He sniffed and wiped at his eyes again. "I
miss my mother. And you miss your master."
Obi-Wan nodded. The breeze picked up then settled again. Anakin
shivered, turning his eyes back to his master. Cautiously he
moved closer to Obi-Wan. When there was no move to push him
away he climbed into Obi-Wan's lap and lay his head against his
chest. Reflexively Obi-Wan wrapped his robe around Anakin,
resting his cheek against the top of the boy's head.
"Promise you won't leave me too." Anakin whispered. Obi-Wan
felt warmth fill him briefly and then it was gone. It was so
reminiscent of Qui-Gon that he couldn't help the soft cry that
fell from him. Reality struck him too suddenly. Qui-Gon was not
coming back. He was gone forever. Obi-Wan was alone with this
child, the chosen one. He buried his head against Anakin's
small form and held him tightly, crying. Anakin tried to hush
him, small hands reaching up to smooth his hair. For a long
time they stayed together but eventually Anakin moved away,
taking Obi-Wan's hand and trying to pull him up.
"We can go get some of that frozen custard. It will make us
feel better." Anakin encouraged, sniffing again.
Obi-Wan looked up, the corners of his mouth threatening to
smile. "I'd like that."
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