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Absolution

by The Rose and Kalujinn (rosarocaminis@yahoo.com & kalujinn08@yahoo.com )

The lovers writhed lustily against each other on the large bed. Qui-Gon's long hair hung down like a curtain, isolating them in their own world, as they passionately kissed and nibbled at each other's flesh.

Obi-Wan stroked his hands down the muscular torso of his Master, pausing briefly to squeeze his buttocks, before slipping one finger in between the taut cheeks and teasing his Master's sensitive opening.

"Don't!" Qui-Gon yelped, rising to his knees with a "bantha-caught-in-speeder-lights" expression on his face.

Obi-Wan's brows drew together. "Qui? I'm sorry. I thought you'd like that."

Qui-Gon's face colored slightly. "Well, I don't."

Obi-Wan is obviously disappointed. "Sorry," he said again. "It's just that . . . well, I've always hoped that one day I could . . ." He broke off and reached up to stroke Qui's upper arms. "Never mind. It's not important. Please, Qui-Gon. I need you."

After a few moments hesitation, during which he was clearly composing himself, Qui-Gon lowered himself over Obi-Wan again and resumed nuzzling and licking his Padawan's sensitive neck. Within a few minutes, his cock refilled, and soon they were joined and writhing in ecstasy. Later, when they were both little more than boneless puddles on the damp sheets, Qui-Gon began to feel guilty.

He reached out to rub Obi-Wan's back. "What was it that you were going to say?" he asked.

"Hmmmm?" came the barely intelligible answer.

"You said you'd always hoped that one day, what?"

To his amazement, Obi-Wan flushed bright red and turned away, burying his face in the pillow. "It was nothing. Nothing important."

Qui-Gon caught the slender shoulders and turned Obi-Wan to face him. "Tell me. Please?"

Still embarrassed, Obi-Wan acceded with a sigh. "I just always hoped that one day ---" He drew a steadying breath. "One day I'd be able to penetrate you."

Qui-Gon rolled onto his back and cast his arm over his eyes. An uncomfortable silence grew between them. Finally, Obi-Wan could not take it anymore.

"It's all right, Master," he mumbled, "We don't have to..."

"Good night, Padawan," was Qui-Gon's only reply.

Qui-Gon did not see his apprentice until early the following evening. Contrary to his nature, Obi-Wan had risen earlier than his Master, and was gone when Qui-Gon awoke. Ever the attentive Padawan, though, he had prepared him a tasty breakfast. It was laid out on the table when Qui-Gon entered the common room, and it was accompanied by a simple note.

"Need time to think. Be back tonight. Obi"

Qui-Gon sent a probing tendril through the bond with his apprentice, only to find his overtures soundly rebuffed by heavily reinforced shields. Qui-Gon sighed deeply, saddened that he had pushed his lover away the night before. But, he thought, Obi-Wan never stayed angry long, so hopefully all would be well by evening.

Still, the young man was never far from his thoughts as Qui-Gon performed his duties that day. Several boring committee meetings were broken only by a dull meal eaten alone in refectory. As the day waned, Qui-Gon found himself looking forward to seeing his lover. And to coaxing him into a better mood, if necessary.

Qui-Gon was seated in his comfortable chair, reading one of his treasured paper novels, when Obi-Wan came through the door. He closed his book and set it upon the nearby table, then looked at his apprentice with an expectant look upon his face. Obi-Wan studied him briefly, before coming to kneel at his feet. The younger man took the Master's hands in his own, turning them over to finger the tough calluses that marked years of hard play with a lightsaber.

"Master, I want you to know that I feel like the luckiest Padawan ever, having you as my Master," he began softly, not meeting Qui-Gon's eyes. "You are incredibly skilled in so many of the Jedi arts. It is a privilege to study with you."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," the Master replied, in an encouraging tone.

"You are kind, considerate, resourceful, gentle, tough," Obi-Wan's litany went on. "And I love you very much."

"As I love you," Qui-Gon smiled, lifting one hand up to tilt Obi-Wan's chin up. Finally, the younger man met his gaze. The smile died on Qui-Gon's lips as he saw the tears standing in his lover's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I... oh, Force!" Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment, causing the tears to trickle down his cheeks. "I don't think we should be lovers anymore."

"What?" Qui-Gon gasped, feeling as if he had been punched squarely in his gut. Obi-Wan withdrew his hand, rose and went to stand beside the window. He gazed out at the darkening sky, unable to face his Master.

"How can we be lovers if you don't trust me?" he asked, brokenly.

"Trust you? Of course, I trust you," Qui-Gon moved to wrap his arms around the younger man, drawing him back against his hard chest. He nuzzled at Obi-Wan's ear, "How could you ever think I didn't trust you?"

"Because you lied to me," Obi-Wan replied simply, choking off a sob.

"When?" Qui-Gon demanded, his tone becoming a bit sharper as a feeling of panic and doom grew in his heart. "When did I lie to you?"

"Last night," the younger man replied. "When I touched you."

"I don't understand," Qui-Gon uttered in frustration.

"You told me you didn't like it when I touched you. But I felt no distaste or revulsion from you," Obi-Wan told him as he looked down at his Master's hands clasped around his waist. "What I felt was... fear."

Qui-Gon stiffened perceptibly, then released his hold on his apprentice. He turned and walked toward the bedroom, but paused after a few steps. He stared unseeing at the floor at his feet as he swept one hand over the tidily kept beard gracing his chin.

"You're right."

"Why? Why are you afraid, Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan asked in a pleading voice, turning to gaze at his Master's shoulders, now slumped in defeat.

"Because of what happened to me on my third mission as a Knight."

Obi-Wan sidled up behind him. Slipping his arms around his Master, he rested his cheek against the broad back. "Tell me?" he asked softly.

For a moment he thought Qui-Gon would refuse, feeling the tensing in his muscles and sensing the strong desire to just pull away and retreat into the safety and solitude of their room. Finally, however, the chest moved in a huge sigh.

"I was sent to Dissoneia to investigate the theft of some priceless National treasures. The ruling tribe, the Mepats, were threatening war, blaming each of the surrounding tribes for the crime. During the course of my investigation, I had cause to be in the lower district, a dangerous place in the best of times, but more volatile then than ever. I -- I suppose I was focusing too much on the future, on my mission, and not enough on the moment, because I never sensed danger until something hit me hard on the back of the head."

He broke off, and Obi-Wan could feel him trembling. Whatever this memory was, it was a powerful one. He tightened his arms, hands rubbing soothing circles on Qui-Gon's chest. "And, then what happened?"

A harsh breath quivered through the large frame. "I was knocked unconscious. When I came to ---" He stopped, his voice breaking on the last word. Obi-Wan sent encouragement and reassurance across their bond, and after a moment, Qui-Gon continued, but in a much softer, barely audible voice. "When I came to, I was being held face down across a table, and a --- one of them was ---"

"Raping you?" Obi-Wan guessed when it seemed obvious his Master was not going to be able to say it.

Qui-Gon nodded jerkily, his breath hitching in his chest.

Obi-Wan longed to turn the body in his arms, to see Qui-Gon's face and look into his eyes. But, he sensed that the other needed this separation, this distance. So, instead, he merely held him tighter. "What did you do?"

"I lost control," Qui-Gon said, his voice hollow with the pain of the memory. "Totally. I used the Force to jerk free, to slam the four of them across the room and through the opposite wall. I was enraged! But I didn't intend to ---" He drew another breath, his shoulders shuddering with barely suppressed sobs. "I didn't intend to kill them. But I did. I killed them all."

"Oh, Qui," Obi-Wan said, finally giving in to his desire and turning Qui-Gon to face him, drawing the other down into a protective embrace, wishing he could do something, anything, to take away his Master's sorrow. "I'm so sorry. But, it wasn't your fault. You merely reacted ---"

"I reacted without thinking!" Qui-Gon shouted, jerking away. "A Jedi does not kill in anger, but I did! I did." His face was haunted with the memory, still so fresh, so painful, after all these years. Tears streamed unheeded down his cheeks. Then, he looked up to meet Obi-Wan's eyes, and with a solemn grace belying his size, he sank to his knees before his Padawan. "I don't want to lose you, not ever, especially not over this. What can I do, beloved, to make you stay? Because, I'll do anything. Anything you want." He wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's legs, holding on as if his life depended on it. "Please don't leave me."

Obi-Wan slipped his fingers into the silken mass of Qui-Gon's silvered mane, stroking it soothingly as he gazed up at the ceiling. He took several deep cleansing breaths, trying to find some calm in the maelstrom of emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him. Clearly, he needed to be the strong one now. Sinking down onto his knees in front of his companion, Obi-Wan gathered the other man to him in a loving embrace. He poured his acceptance, respect, love and desire through their shared bond. Qui-Gon melted into his arms and began to sob brokenly.

"There, there," Obi-Wan whispered, stroking his lover's back, unconscious of the fact that tears were streaming down his cheeks as well. "It's over, my beloved. You are safe."

"It hurt!" Qui-Gon cried, "So badly! And, then, when it was over, they were all just lying there! It was my fault, Obi! My fault!"

"No, Qui," the younger man gently but firmly disagreed. "It was not your fault. You have a right to defend yourself, and you did so."

Qui-Gon shook his head, his hands clutching at Obi-Wan's waist in profound despair. Obi-Wan held him closely, humming softly under his breath as he caressed Qui-Gon's head. After several long moments, the older man began to relax in his arms. Obi-Wan was torn. He felt he needed to know more about the incident, but he did not want to distress his lover any more. So, he began his gentle questioning in a safer area. "What did the soul healers recommend you do as therapy?"

"I didn't go to the soul healers," was his Master's surprising reply.

"Why not?" Obi-Wan asked incredulously.

"Because then I would have had to talk about it," he replied. "And I just wasn't ready to do that."

"And Master Yoda?" Obi-Wan queried. Qui-Gon shook his head jerkily. "Anyone?"

"No one."

"But, what about Master Windu? You and he were lovers when you were first Knighted, you told me," Obi-Wan struggled to understand how his Master could have maintained this painful secret, not sharing it with any of his loved ones.

"When I returned home, I couldn't face him. I asked for a meditational retreat. The Council sent me to the temple on Devinnar 3. I stayed there for three months. While I was there, my body had time to heal, and I made some very important decisions about the course of my life."

"And when you returned?"

"Mace met me at the hanger deck. When he kissed me, I stiffened up and drew away from him. He knew something was wrong, but I guess he decided to wait until we were back at our quarters to ask me," Qui-Gon's voice was husky. "I simply told him I no longer wanted to be involved with him."

"How did he react to that?" Obi-Wan asked, unable to stifle his curiosity.

"He got very angry at me, demanding to know who I was sleeping with, who had stolen my affections from him. He would not believe me when I told him there was no one. I don't think he ever forgave me for it."

"I suppose I would have reacted the same way," the younger man said, wincing at the thought of his Master saying those words to him. As he had just done to Qui-Gon. He reached out to caress the bearded jaw of his lover, the man that meant more to him than his life. "Qui-Gon, I promise you I will never leave you. I will belong to you as long as you want me."

With a shuddering sigh, the Master gathered his apprentice to him, holding him closely. "What can I do, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan gently disentangled himself from the older man's embrace, then rose to pace the room in contemplation. Qui-Gon remained on his knees, his palms resting lightly on his muscled thighs.

"In our Theology class, we are taught that there are three important phases of recognizing a transgression of the Code. They are Declaration, Penitence, and Absolution," Obi-Wan stopped in front of the kneeling man, his hands behind his back, unconsciously adopting a scholarly demeanor. "You have declared to me this night the transgression you believe you committed all those years ago. You have been repentant from the very moment you realized what you had done. The only thing left is your absolution."

Qui-Gon looked at his hands, nervously fidgeting on his lap. Finally, his red-rimmed eyes met those of his Padawan. "What should I do?"

"Allow me to make love to you, Qui-Gon. Give yourself to me completely and without reservation." Obi-Wan crouched before his Master, capturing his hands and drawing them up to his lips. Softly, lingeringly he kissed and nibbled the other man's sensitive fingertips. "In this one way, you come to me as a virgin. Give your virginity to me. Let my love cleanse your soul of this darkness."

Qui-Gon drew in a shuddering breath. "I'm -- not certain that I can."

"You can," Obi-Wan assured him. "And, you will. I will help you through this. You have my solemn word, I will not hurt you."

"I know that, but --"

"No," Obi-Wan said firmly, capturing Qui-Gon's gaze when the other would have looked away. "You must get past this, beloved. You've harbored this fear, this memory, for far too long. It is time to exorcise it once and for all."

Qui-Gon gave a slight nod of affirmation and squared his shoulders. "When?" he asked softly.

"Soon," his Padawan told him, reaching up to stroke the side of the older man's jaw again. "But, first, there are some things I need to know."

Qui-Gon seemed to tense a bit more with that. "What things?"

Obi-Wan stood, drawing Qui-Gon to his feet and leading him to the couch. Here, he sat, pulling the other down with him and tucking Qui-Gon's head under his chin, wrapping him in a comforting, protective hug. "Before the rape --" He paused when he felt Qui-Gon flinch at the word. Then, he began again, more carefully. "Before, had you ever -- had any of your lovers ever --?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No. My first relationship was with a young female Knight, many, many years ago. Then, with Mace, I was always on top. Somehow, neither of us ever questioned it. It just --" He shrugged slightly in Obi-Wan's arms. "It just happened that way."

Obi-Wan nodded. "And, on Dissoneia, how many times --?"

Qui-Gon shuddered, and Obi-Wan tightened his embrace, enfolding his lover in a comforting blanket of safety and warmth. "I was only aware of the one time, but --" He broke off, wrapping his arms around himself and gripping Obi-Wan's elbows, as if to ensure that Obi-Wan would not release him. "The Healer who tended me said that it had probably happened several times, while I was unconscious."

"Did your attackers know that you were a Jedi?"

"I doubt it," Qui-Gon said with a little sigh of relief to be on a safer topic. "I was dressed as a local. If they had bothered to strip me, they would have found my lightsaber, but instead they just --"

Obi-Wan buried his face in the long fall of hair, feeling another tear roll down his cheek. "They what?" he prompted.

"They just ripped my leggings off."

Obi-Wan swallowed hard, struggling with his temper and resisting the almost overwhelming urge to just cuddle his lover tighter and never let him go. "One other thing," he said, nuzzling deeper into Qui-Gon's hair and planting a kiss on the top of his head. "You said that while you were on meditational retreat, you made some important decisions. What were they?"

"That I would never again allow myself to be caught in that position. I lost my focus; and, I paid for it dearly."

"`Keep your focus on the here and now, my Padawan,'" Obi-Wan intoned.

"Exactly," Qui-Gon replied, with a watery chuckle at his lover's weak imitation of him. "And, I also vowed never to become sexually involved with anyone again."

"Oh, Force!" Obi-Wan muttered, dropping his head against the back of the sofa. Qui-Gon slipped from his embrace, sitting up so he could face his companion.

"What is it?" he asked, wiping at the tear tracks marring his face.

"I'm in big trouble," Obi-Wan replied softly, closing his eyes.

"How so?" the Master asked, not comprehending Obi-Wan's meaning.

"Qui-Gon... think about it! You wear me out on a nightly basis. Garen says I wear this perpetual "well and thoroughly fucked" look. Now, you're telling me you vowed never to become sexually involved with anyone."

Qui-Gon nodded, his brows knit in confusion.

"Well, if you do decide to become sexually involved with me," Obi-Wan's voice dropped lower as he leaned in to kiss his Master's lips, "Then, I'm a dead man. But what a way to go!"

In spite of himself, Qui-Gon laughed out loud. A rich, deep laugh that invited Obi-Wan to join him.

Chuckling, the younger man moved to straddle his lover, pressing him back against the sofa, and capturing his mouth. The sweetness of laughter mixed with the remnant of tears had a heady flavor all its own. Slowly, their laughter died away. And passion took its place.

Obi-Wan nipped at his Master's mouth, pulling softly on his lower lip with his pearly white teeth. As Qui-Gon relaxed his mouth, Obi-Wan teased at the silky flesh just inside, flicking the tip of his agile tongue against the sensitive flesh. He could feel his Master's cock becoming hard beneath him, and he squirmed his pelvis against the tantalizing bulge.

At Qui-Gon's appreciative sigh, Obi-Wan buried his tongue in the other's mouth. He mapped the slick surface of his Master's teeth, before engaging his tongue in a fiery duel for supremacy. He turned up the intensity of their kiss, until they were both gasping with passion when they parted.

Qui-Gon's eyes were the deepest indigo blue; it was a color that, for Obi-Wan, would forever speak of love, lust, passion and happiness. The Master reached up to stroke his lover's cheek, his thumb lingering on the other's kiss-swollen lips.

"Make love to me?" Qui-Gon asked simply, his voice husky with barely controlled lust and fear.

"Yes," Obi-Wan whispered, shifting to take Qui-Gon's earlobe in his mouth, suckling it and the sensitive skin beneath it until his Master was writhing beneath him, desperate for more. Only then did Obi-Wan rise, extending a hand down to Qui-Gon. "Not here. The couch is hardly big enough for both of us."

Qui-Gon allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and led to their bedroom. Here, Obi-Wan's hands undressed him, removing each article of clothing reverently as if unwrapping some priceless, delicate gift.

"Let me . . ." Qui-Gon said, reaching for Obi-Wan's tunic, but the younger man stepped back out of his reach.

"No," he said, his eyes stormy green and full of passion. "On the bed, beloved," he instructed. "I want you to watch me."

Qui-Gon swallowed hard, but nodded. Crawling to the center of the large bed, he lay on his side, his head pillowed on one forearm, and gazed at his lover hungrily.

Obi-Wan grinned. "Watch me," he repeated as he began to slowly, sensuously peel away his clothes. The belt came off first, dropped to the floor, then the tunic. Bare chested, Obi-Wan paused to stroke and pinch both nipples to hardness, his eyes half closing with the pleasure of it. He slid a finger into his mouth, wetting it with saliva, then dragged the wetness across one nipple until it shone.

Qui-Gon groaned, deep in his throat, and reached down to take his cock in his hand. Instantly, Obi-Wan's eyes flashed in mock anger.

"Don't!" he ordered. "That is mine to touch tonight. Mine and mine alone."

Swallowing hard, Qui-Gon obeyed, his hand settling along the top of his hip, fingers curled into a loose fist as he watched Obi-Wan lift one foot to the bed.

"Boots, next," the younger man said, grinning as he began to slowly unbuckle them, eliciting another groan from his Master. Qui-Gon's cock was twitching with impatience and seeping copiously. One after another, Obi-Wan bared his feet, tossing the footwear across the room to land where they may. Straightening, he reached for the waistband of his pants. Before untying them, he paused to run one hand across the bulge of his erection, touching the spot of wetness already there. "See what you do to me, my own?" he said, his voice husky with need.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon growled. "If you don't hurry, I'm going to tear those off of you and ravish you until you can't see straight!"

Obi-Wan moved his hands to the drawstring, slowly untying it. "Oh, no, beloved. I'm the only one who's going to be doing any ravishing tonight." He moistened his lips with the tip on his tongue, grinning again when Qui-Gon copied the gesture unconsciously, pleased that his lover did not flinch at his choice of words. He slipped his pants down over his hips, enjoying his lover's groan when his proud erection bobbed free of the material. His pants pooled at his ankles and Obi-Wan stepped from them.

He climbed onto the bed and pushed Qui-Gon onto his back. Obi-Wan grabbed his lover's ankles and spread his legs, so that he could kneel in between them. He smoothed his palms up the supine man's inner thighs. One hand reached up to grasp the large shaft waiting for him; the other cupped the full sacs beneath it, rolling them gently back and forth.

"Ohh... yesss..." Qui-Gon hissed in appreciation of Obi-Wan's touch. He pushed himself up on his elbows to watch himself being stroked. Obi-Wan took pleasure in the minute changes in statement that crossed his lover's face as he caressed his magnificent erection. Settling himself between Qui-Gon's widespread limbs, he brought the ruby head of his lover's penis close to his lips.

Meeting Qui-Gon's eyes, he darted his tongue out and flicked the sensitive area just below the rim. Qui-Gon inhaled sharply, then lifted his hips in silent encouragement. Obi-Wan repeated the maneuver, then began fluttering the tip of tongue against the responsive surface of the head.

"Ahh... Force! Obi!" Qui-Gon pleaded. Obi-Wan slipped the head of his Master's cock into his mouth and suckled deeply. Opening his mouth further, he took in more of it, retreated, then swallowed as much of his lover's shaft as he could manage. Qui-Gon dropped his head back for a moment, groaning with pleasure at the sensation. Then, he lifted his head to watch his apprentice fellate him.

"Mmm...mmm," Obi-Wan murmured, lifting his eyebrows a couple of times and smiling at his Master with his eyes. He succeeded in getting the reaction he was looking for when Qui-Gon laughed out loud. Allowing the other man's cock to slip from his mouth, Obi-Wan whispered, "Delicious!"

"You imp!" Qui-Gon scolded, chuckling. Obi-Wan kissed his way up the Master's body, covering the larger man's frame with his own, and captured his mouth with his own. Qui-Gon wrapped his arms around the younger man, holding him close in his warm embrace.

"Are you ready?" Obi-Wan asked, not surprised to feel tension enter the other's body.

"Yes."

Obi-Wan moved to his lover's side and retrieved the tube of lubricant that the pair kept on the bedside table. He removed the cap and spread a generous quantity on his fingers.

"Give me your hand, Qui." When the Master did so, he applied some lubricant to his Master's long fingers as well. "I want you to prepare yourself for me."

As Obi-Wan began coating his own cock with the slick substance, Qui-Gon reached down between his legs and touched his waiting opening. With the same gentle care he would have used to prepare Obi-Wan's body, he inserted one finger into his tight opening. His breath shortened as his nervous fear escalated.

"It's all right," Obi-Wan reassured him, placing his hand over Qui-Gon's and encouraging him to penetrate further. He guided the older man's hand in and out for a few strokes, then after applying more lubricant to his fingers, he slipped one digit in alongside of the Master's own. Qui-Gon tensed markedly. Then, he took a deep breath, exhaled, and his body relaxed. They stroked in and out of the opening in unison, occasionally separating to further stretch the tight ring of muscle.

"Let me," Obi-Wan finally suggested. Qui-Gon withdrew his hand and spread himself even further, giving himself over to his apprentice's loving touch. Obi-Wan smiled down at the supine man, admiring his courage in facing this long-held fear. He entered him with three fingers this time, scissoring gently to further stretch the muscles. At last, he removed his hand and rolled over onto his lover, settling himself between the Master's legs.

"No, Qui," Obi-Wan instructed when the older man closed his eyes. "Look at me. I want you to know that it is me taking you. It is your Obi-Wan making love to you."

His lover's blue eyes welled with tears when he opened them. Obi-Wan stroked his cheek gently, then kissed him with all the love he possessed. Shifting his hips forward, he slipped the head of his cock into his lover's waiting opening. Qui-Gon gasped and closed his eyes again.

"Qui-Gon. Look at me!" Obi-Wan ordered firmly. The older man trembled, then met his apprentice's intense gaze. "You must let it go. There is no room for this fear and me. Release it into the Force."

Qui-Gon shuddered deeply, his breath coming in quick gasps as he fought panic. Obi-Wan sent waves of love and comfort through their bond. At last, Qui-Gon regained control of himself. He took several calming breaths, closed his eyes, then pushed the long-held fear from his mind. An incredible statement of peace came over his face.

Obi-Wan waited patiently. The other finally opened his eyes, and Obi-Wan began moving forward again, burying himself deeper and deeper. When he was fully seated in Qui-Gon's body, he paused to allow the other man a few moments to become accustomed to the sensation of being filled.

"I love you, my beautiful Qui," he whispered, feathering kisses over the other man's face and jaw, then suckling at his earlobe. He nibbled at his throat, then bit harder and sucked, wanting to leave a mark of passion upon the man. Unable to stop himself, Qui-Gon squirmed beneath him. The sensation caused both men to gasp with pleasure. Propping himself up on his elbows, Obi-Wan withdrew his hardness, then pressed it home again. Qui-Gon gasped again, his eyes going wide at the sensation.

"Again!" he commanded. With a smile, Obi-Wan complied. He thrust into his lover's body, savoring its tight hold upon his hard flesh. As Qui-Gon relaxed even more, he settled into a rhythm that was slow and steady, allowing their passion to build.

Qui-Gon moaned with pleasure, the pain gone, and with it, most of the fear. He reached down to grasp his cock, but Obi-Wan caught his wrists, pulling them away and pinning them to the bed. Instantly, he felt Qui-Gon stiffen with something near panic and he stilled his hips, still lodged deeply within his lover's body.

"Shhh, beloved," he soothed, firmly restraining the larger man while pushing reassurance through their bond. "Don't fight. It's still only me."

Qui-Gon went still, and he felt him struggling to obey.

"Good, Qui. That's good." He caught and held the indigo blue eyes, then purposely spread the other's arms wider, wanting him to feel the restraint and to know who was causing it. The Force swirled around them, so thick as to be almost palpable, as Qui-Gon struggled with the need to use it to free himself, fear and guilt in equal measures pounding against Obi-Wan's senses. "You know I won't hurt you, but you must get past this. We must get past this."

Qui-Gon nodded, though the movement was stiff, and he drew his lower lip into his mouth, sinking his teeth into it in a desperate attempt to comply. Not able to bear even that small indication of stress, Obi-Wan leaned down, supporting himself by his grip on his lover's wrists, and closed his mouth over his Master's.

// Love you, // he sent through their link as he plunged his tongue forward in conscious imitation of the motion his cock would soon resume. // Be with me, Qui. Be only with me. You must let the past go. // He pulled out slightly and changed the angle of his hips, angling upward, then thrust in again. He knew he had found what he sought when Qui-Gon arched beneath him.

"Wha--?" the older man half gasped, half shouted as he broke away from the kiss.

Obi-Wan pressed his lips against Qui-Gon's throat and chuckled, feeling Qui-Gon shiver in response. "Did you like that?" he asked.

"More!"

"Oh, yes, my love. There's lots more. But first, you must do something for me."

"Anything," Qui-Gon moaned. Having forgotten about trying to free his wrists, he was now concentrating solely on trying to raise his hips, desperate to take more of Obi-Wan within himself. "Anything!"

Obi-Wan withdrew, making his lover groan at the loss, and sat up. This was going to be hard, for both of them, but particularly for the older man. "Roll over," he said, watching carefully as Qui-Gon began to tremble. It occurred to Obi-Wan that this might be too much to ask, might be beyond his Master's capacity to give. He thrust the notion away a moment later. Qui-Gon needed this. "I want you face down." He reached out and ran a gentle hand along Qui-Gon's hip. "Can you do this for me, trust me this much?"

Qui-Gon swallowed hard, but nodded. "I -- think so," he said, his voice hoarse, his breath coming in short gasps. Slowly, he turned on the bed until he lay on his stomach, his hands near his face and clinched into tight fists.

"Easy," Obi-Wan said as he slid a thick pillow beneath his Master's hips, elevating him for ease of penetration. He noticed that Qui-Gon's erection, rock hard a moment before, had wilted. "You're doing very well, beloved." He rubbed soothing circles on Qui-Gon's lower back, feeling the muscles quiver with tension. "Hands out," he instructed, "toward the sides of the bed."

Qui-Gon complied, though his fists did not relax. Still trying to coax the tight muscles to soften, Obi-Wan reached out with the Force to strengthen his connection with his Master, allowing himself to feel everything that the other was feeling. There was fear, naturally, the strength of it nearly overwhelming, and no small measure of humiliation at his vulnerable position, but all of it was overlaid by the strong conviction to trust, at all costs, whatever Obi-Wan chose to do.

Cautiously, keeping close track of Qui-Gon's control, Obi-Wan slid his hands up the broad back, onto the shoulders, and finally down the long arms until they reached the Master's wrists. He closed his hands around them, leaning forward with his weight, not surprised when Qui-Gon's breath quickened even more.

"Tell me more, Qui," he said softly, "about that day on Dissoneia. You were face down over a table?"

A shudder ran through Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan pressed a reassuring kiss between the shoulder blades beneath him.

"Yes."

"And, did they hold your arms down?" Obi-Wan asked, tightening his grip on Qui-Gon's wrists. "Like this?"

The fear was rising, despite Qui-Gon's attempts to control it. He shuddered again as he answered, his voice breaking. "Yes!"

Obi-Wan nuzzled into the long fall of hair, pushing it aside to plant a kiss on the back of his lover's neck. "It's still me here, remember," he encouraged, his breath puffing across the damp skin. He inched upward, until the head of his cock touched the loosened opening, using his knees to push Qui-Gon's legs wider apart. "I'm going to take you now, my love," he whispered, flooding their bond with love. "We're going to make new memories to replace the old ones, the ones you need to release, the ones you need to forget." He pressed slightly into that hot tightness, hearing Qui-Gon gasp.

"Can you do this for me, beloved?" he asked, not willing to push too far. "Can you do this for us?"

Obi-Wan waited, allowing his lover the time to win his inner battle. At last, Qui-Gon looked over his shoulder, and in a throaty voice, said, "Do it."

With a smile of admiration, Obi-Wan buried his length in the Master's body. Qui-Gon trembled but still he moved back to meet his lover, accepting the invasion though his mind cried out with remembered fear and pain.

"Who is inside you, Qui?" Obi-Wan asked, his hands tightening their grip on the other's wrists.

"You are," the Master gasped.

"Say my name," the younger man demanded, hungry to hear it.

"Obi-Wan."

"Who is making love to you?" he asked, angling his hips to ensure the sweetest contact for them both.

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon shouted, his pleasure spiking across their mental bond.

"That's right, my beloved," Obi-Wan encouraged, releasing the grip he had held on his Master's wrists. Maintaining a steady rhythm, he straightened his body and took a firm grasp of the other's hips, pulling them up and back and drawing Qui-Gon to his knees. With the added leverage, he penetrated deeper and with more power than before. Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a few moments, focusing on the exquisite sensation of being inside the man he loved. Feeling his orgasm building, he reached out with one hand, grabbed a handful of the long silvered hair and forced the older man's head back.

Qui-Gon groaned, his sense of humiliation at the vulnerability of the position bleeding to Obi-Wan through their bond. But it was accompanied by thorough, intense arousal as well. Obi-Wan's free hand found his Master's cock, fully engorged again and magnificent, and began feverishly stroking its length, paying special attention to the ruby head and the sensitive flesh just beneath it.

"Who is going to come inside you, Qui?" Obi-Wan asked, through clenched teeth as he fought for control of his body.

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon replied, then added with a chuckle, "But not yet!"

"Wha?" the younger man was sufficiently surprised to lose the tempo of the rhythm he had established.

"Feels too good, don't stop," Qui-Gon explained disjointedly, pressing himself back to meet his lover's thrusts.

"If you... let me... come," Obi-Wan bargained breathlessly, "I promise... I'll do it again!"

"Promise?" Qui-Gon asked, as he thrust his cock into Obi-Wan's firm grip.

"Yes!" Obi-Wan shouted as he came inside his lover. His thrusts slowed and he slumped upon Qui-Gon's strong back, panting. After a few moments, he resumed stroking Qui-Gon's cock, pressing himself into their mental bond to experience the older man's pleasure with him. A long, delicious orgasm flowed over the Master; an appreciative groan rumbling through his body. Obi-Wan continued stroking as he smiled, his eyes closed, his cheek pressed against Qui-Gon's shoulder blade.

With a sigh, he collapsed, letting his weight fall fully onto his Master's back. For a moment, the room spun, and when it stopped he found himself flat on his back gazing up into dark blue eyes.

"Thank you, beloved, for helping me get past my fear," Qui-Gon said, his mouth barely brushing his Padawan's.

Obi-Wan grinned. "Oh, Master, I can assure you, it was entirely my pleasure."

Qui-Gon grinned slyly. "Well, certainly not entirely." He glanced down the length of the sweaty, satiated body half beneath him, his gaze coming to rest on the spent penis, which twitched under his steady regard. "So," he said conversationally, as if he were discussing something of no more importance than Coruscant's weather, "are you ready to keep your promise?"

"My promise?" Obi-Wan asked, eyebrows lifting. "Master, I can barely lift a finger at the moment. I shall need at least a little time to recover."

"Hmmm. I wonder . . ." Qui-Gon squirmed around, nuzzling into the coarse hair covering Obi-Wan's groin. He blew his breath into it, feeling the younger man shudder beneath him and watching as his cock sprang to instant attention. He drew his tongue across the flared head, dipping briefly into the tiny slit, and grinned at Obi-Wan's gasp. "Apparently, you don't require as much recovery time as you believe," he observed dryly.

In one fluid motion, he rose to his knees and swung a leg across Obi-Wan, straddling his hips. Reaching behind him, he steadied Obi-Wan's cock and sank down onto it, closing his eyes at the delicious sensation as he was once more filled. Someone groaned, loud and long, but he wasn't certain which one of them had done it. When finally he opened his eyes, it was to see his Padawan gazing up at him.

"I love you, Qui-Gon Jinn," Obi-Wan said, his voice thick with emotion. "My brave, trusting Master."

"Not necessarily so brave," Qui-Gon corrected, beginning to slowly rise and fall on the hard length impaling him. "Trusting and in love, yes." He grinned suddenly. "And, horny."

Obi-Wan beamed up at him. "Really?" he asked in his most impish voice. "I hadn't noticed."

Qui-Gon growled, deep in this throat. "Careful, my own, or I shall have to punish you for your cheekiness," he warned, unable to completely hide his grin.

Obi-Wan fell immediately into the role, his eyes widening in feigned fright. "Forgive me, oh wise and benevolent one. I meant no disrespect."

"I'll show you disrespect," Qui-Gon said, leaning forward to capture a taut nipple. He closed his teeth on it, drawing a gasp and a desperate series of thrusts from the young man trapped beneath him. Slowly and deliberately, he caught Obi-Wan's wrists, drawing them over his head and pinning them there in one large hand. Still riding his lover with a slow, delicious pace, he reached down with his free hand and dragged his nails across a ticklish flank.

Obi-Wan giggled and squirmed. "Master! Don't!" With a sigh, he collapsed, letting his weight fall fully onto his Master's back. For a moment, the room spun, and when it stopped he found himself flat on his back gazing up into dark blue eyes. Wonderment and peace shown upon the face of his Master. The face of a man set free from the ghosts of his past.

"Thank you, beloved, for helping me conquer my fear," Qui-Gon said, his mouth barely brushing his Padawan's.

Obi-Wan followed his mouth up to deepen the kiss. When he finally allowed his head to drop back to the mattress, he grinned. "Oh, Master, I can assure you, it was entirely my pleasure."

Qui-Gon grinned slyly. "Well, certainly not entirely." He glanced down the length of the sweaty, satiated body half beneath him, his gaze coming to rest on the spent penis, which twitched under his steady regard. "So," he said conversationally, as if he were discussing something of no more importance than Coruscant's weather, "are you ready to keep your promise?"

"My promise?" Obi-Wan asked, eyebrows lifting. "Master, I can barely lift a finger at the moment. I shall need at least a little time to recover."

"Hmmm. I wonder . . ." Qui-Gon squirmed around, nuzzling into the coarse hair covering Obi-Wan's groin. He blew his breath into it, feeling the younger man shudder beneath him and watching as his cock sprang to instant attention. He drew his tongue across the flared head, dipping briefly into the tiny slit, and grinned at Obi-Wan's gasp. "Apparently, you don't require as much recovery time as you believe," he observed dryly.

In one fluid motion, he rose to his knees and swung a leg across Obi-Wan, straddling his hips. Reaching behind him, he steadied Obi-Wan's cock and sank down onto it, closing his eyes at the delicious sensation as he was once more filled. Someone groaned, loud and long, but Obi-Wan wasn't certain which one of them had done it. The younger man placed his widespread hands upon the muscular thighs of his lover, his thumbs stroking the lightly haired flesh of his inner thighs. He smiled contentedly when the Master opened his eyes and looked down at him.

"I love you, Qui-Gon Jinn," Obi-Wan said, his voice thick with emotion. "My brave, trusting Master."

"Not necessarily so brave," Qui-Gon corrected, beginning to slowly rise and fall on the hard length impaling him. "Trusting and in love, yes." He grinned suddenly. "And, horny."

Obi-Wan beamed up at him. "Really?" he asked in his most impish voice. "I hadn't noticed."

Qui-Gon growled, deep in this throat. "Careful, my own, or I shall have to punish you for your cheekiness," he warned, unable to completely hide his grin.

Obi-Wan, rejoicing at the reappearance of his strong, confidant lover, fell immediately into the role, his eyes widening in feigned fright. "Forgive me, oh wise and benevolent one. I meant no disrespect."

"I'll show you disrespect," Qui-Gon said, leaning forward to capture a taut nipple. He closed his teeth on it, drawing a gasp and a desperate series of thrusts from the young man trapped beneath him. Slowly and deliberately, he caught Obi-Wan's wrists, drawing them over his head and pinning them there in one large hand. Still riding his lover with a slow, delicious pace, he reached down with his free hand and dragged his nails across a ticklish flank.

Obi-Wan giggled and squirmed. "Master! Don't!"

"Oohh.. do that again!" Qui-Gon groaned, closing his eyes to concentrate on the hard flesh buried within him. Obi-Wan complied, thrusting upward into him with a delicious swivel of his hips. "Ahh... so good!"

"Now you know why I like it so much!" the younger man panted, reaching up to caress his lover's erection. He set up a sweet counter rhythm to his shifting hips, bringing his palm down the length as he pressed upwards. An intense tremble passed through Qui-Gon's massive frame. For several long moments, the only sounds were that of skin rubbing against skin and moans of building pleasure.

Ahh... Obi-Wan!" the Master shouted, his head dropping back as his seed poured forth from his body. The convulsive tremors were enough to send the younger man over the edge as well. With a satiated sigh, Qui-Gon fell forward, covering Obi-Wan with his larger frame.

"Uhh... Master... can't breathe!" Obi-Wan gasped. The older man chuckled, then rolled away, his lover's softened cock slipping from his body. He covered his eyes with his forearm for a moment, then looked over at Obi-Wan.

The younger man returned his gaze sleepily, a soft smile on his face. Qui-Gon rolled onto his side, propping his head in one large palm, and ran his other hand down the sweated torso of his lover.

"So Garen says you look 'well and thoroughly fucked,' does he?" he asked, one corner of his mouth lifting in a half-smile.

"Mmm..hmm," Obi-Wan replied incoherently.

"I know what he should call this look," Qui-Gon leaned in and kissed the other's mouth.

"What, my Master?"

"Well and thoroughly loved."

Fin