Aahntie Boo and the Jedi

by Bonny ( BonnyMagret@hotmail.com )

Archive – M_A

Category – First time, a longish PWP, Very AU

Pairing – Q/O

Rating - NC-17

Warnings – every cliché in the book

Spoilers - none

Summary – When Obi and Qui crash land on Earth, Jedi values can be set aside, and I helped.

Feedback: are you kidding? Of course! Good, bad, indifferent or you hate it hard.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Lucas thought these guys up, and owns them entirely. I am just trying to bring them to life off screen. I not only don't make any money off this, I lose a lot because of the time and attention these boys demand.

Thanks: to Alex for the very quick beta and for not telling me I was nuts and encouraging me to finish. And thanks to the M-A list sibs for the multiple challenges, instructions on good and bad writing techniques and for teaching me what a Mary Sue was. And to Inya and Rita for being my rocks in a sea of discouragement.

Authors note: In my corner of the world, an `aunt' is the female sibling of one of your parents, and it's pronounced like the insect. `Aahntie' is an honorary title given to someone you wouldn't mind having to call kin and it's pronounced with the accent on the first syllable `Aaah-n-tee'. And, in keeping with the Mary Sue definition, `Boo' is the nickname my niece gave me before she could pronounce my whole name.

The knock on the door was tentative – always an indication of a client's trepidation. But Aahntie Boo was used to this. It was, after all, her job to know these things, she'd see them all. The aggressive doms, the submissive sweets. The tiny little guys that topped with a vengeance. The big bulky bears that had trouble accepting their own body's demands to be entered and fucked into paradise.

This guy was one of the smaller ones. Not little, exactly. Just small. Maybe five nine or ten, maybe a 15 or 15 ½ regular. It was kind of hard to tell size since he was wearing this weird beige shirt thing. It looked like layers and layers of cloth that wrapped across in the front and was held closed by this really big wide brown leather belt. Now that was a masculine statement if she'd ever seen one. That and the knee high boots. Except for this braided lock of ginger colored hair that fell from behind his right year almost to the middle of his chest, he looked the picture of the man's man.

"Come on in," Aahntie Boo said to the bowed head at the doorway. When the man hesitated, she said "It's all right, son, come on."

The blue-green eyes that looked up at her almost took her breath away. In all her many years of work, she couldn't remember seeing such beautiful eyes, nor ones so filled with despair. She moved to the side, holding the door open, silently inviting the man to enter. After a few moments of uncertainty, he came into her lair.

Well, at least that's how she thought of it. A large room with a bank of windows that let in the glow of the sun, the mystery of the night sky. At the moment, the windows only offered a bank of grey. It had been overcast all day, impending rain that teased and misted, but did not fall. The hard marble flooring of the foyer area gave way quickly to a sea of dark rich burgundy carpet, the kind you just couldn't wait to get your shoes off and sink your toes into.

The area nearest the door was occupied with large overstuffed furniture, a couch, a number of armchairs, all upholstered in shades of maroon, hunter green and a buttery cream. The wood accents were all of a very fine grained medium dark wood, probably rosewood. One corner of the room nearest the bank of windows was filled with a large round bed, the bedding a dark midnight blue. There were a few doors, all closed, that led to a bathroom and a kitchen area. A roll- top desk occupied one wall, the only touch of modern influence in the room with a state-of-the-art computer, flat monitor and keyboard, all in black.

After giving the young man a few minutes to take in his surroundings, Aahntie Boo took him by the elbow and lead him into the room. He came reluctantly. She escorted him to the large sofa and bade him to be seated. With just the touch of a button on what looked like an elaborate remote control, a nearby armoire opened and revealed a small refrigerator unit and a moveable shelf filled with crystal glasses of all sizes and shapes and a variety of colorful bottles.

"Sherry, beer or scotch?" Aahntie Boo asked. When the young man didn't answer, she went on, "or what else would you like to drink."

"Oh, to drink? Why, thank you, ma'am. Scotch, please."

The man had a very cultured English accent. While that wasn't, in and of itself, so unusual, after all, one heard any number of accents in a big city like this, Aahntie Boo didn't hear many of them in her line of work. But she had guessed him correctly. She prided herself on being able to read her visitors, to offer a choice of three potables, one of which would be just the drink they needed.

As she handed him his glass, neat, no ice no water, she thought to dispel some of the tension. "Let's go ahead and get the business part of this taken care of. Will this be a full session, or just a partial and will be you be paying with cash or credit card?"

The young man had smiled as he accepted the glass, but his smile quickly turned to a disappointed frown with the question.

"When I heard you on the radio, I didn't realize that you charged. Just to talk, I mean."

Aahntie Boo had hoped that addressing the issue of payment would put the customer more at ease, but that seemed not to be the case. And this man clearly needed her help.

"Don't worry, we'll handle that a bit later. Now," she said, settling herself with a small glass of sherry into the armchair, "tell me what you came to see Aahntie Boo about."

Her visitor moved as if to stand as she had seated herself, resettling himself carefully. He hesitated. "Well," he began, tentatively, then paused.

Aahntie Boo was quite used to this behavior. She saw it all the time. Just a little encouragement, a little prodding, a carefully placed question and she could get most of her customers to open up to her. Good manners, strange clothing, a foreign accent untainted by the local patois all meant that he was new around here.

"You haven't been here very long, have you?" she asked.

"No," came the quick reply.

"Just a few months, maybe?"

"Cycles? Oh, months. Yes, a few months."

He seemed a sort of man who would be rather self-sufficient, but there was a deference to him that spoke to her of a person who was more accustomed to waiting on someone else than to tending to his own needs.

"And the companion you came with, does he know?" she asked carefully.

"Oh, no." Those blue-green eyes scrutinized her closely. "You aren't allowed to tell, are you? Isn't this confidential?"

"Yes. By law, anything you say to me stays in this room." Her tone was reassuring, "That way, you are free to tell me anything that will help me to help you." The man nodded so Aahntie Boo persisted. "So tell me about this person. How long have your worked for him?"

"I don't exactly work for him. He's my mah…. Well, I guess I do work for him. Sort of. I'm really his pada…. His apprentice. For the last ten years."

"Oh, my," Aahntie Boo exclaimed. "You don't look but about twenty three yourself. So you must have been just a boy when you. . .you. . .started your apprenticeship."

"Yes, I was thirteen."

"And he's much older. What? About forty-three?"

"Fifty two standard years," he answered.

"Fifty-two what? Oh, years." Aahntie Boo wasn't going to comment on the boy's strange diction. "So he has about thirty years on you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Aahntie Boo let the pause lengthen to see if the young man would fill the gap. When he didn't, she used the time to observe the young man more closely. He held the glass of scotch in both hands, as if trying to warm the liquid. Or to have it warm him. He had already drunk about half of the double shot she had poured. His shoulders weren't slumped, but a sense of resignation poured off him. He held himself like a soldier. Probably an ex-marine, she thought. That would explain the diffidence. But not a boot soldier. This guy was way too cultured to be just an ordinary recruit. And it still didn't explain the boy's age. A stranger here, apprenticed to an older man, military bearing, cultured polite manners – the picture just wasn't forming in her mind. Which was most unusual. She usually had her clients pretty well pegged within just a few minutes.

It was her job, so she pressed on. "Let me guess. You love your companion. But as an apprentice, it would be hard for him to teach you if your relationship became more personal. So you are having to hide all your emotions so he won't see. Because you are afraid that if he sees that you are sexually attracted to him, he won't want you for his apprentice any more."

The look of wonderment on the young man's face chilled Aahntie Boo's heart. Sometimes this really could be a hard job. She had hoped that her guess would be wrong. This boy didn't need her, he needed a psychological counselor. And he was such a lovely fellow that she really did wish she could help him. But she was a professional, and that meant she sometimes had to be the one to break bad news to her clients.

"Well, I'm sorry, young man. I didn't catch your name."

"Ben. Just call me Ben."

"Okay, Ben. I'm sorry, but I can't be of any help to you. I can recommend some very qualified therapists who specialize in helping people through problems like yours, but it's really not my area of expertise."

The look of hopeful wonderment faded quickly. "But I thought. . ."

"I really am sorry. But you agreed with me that your problem is keeping your companion unaware of your attraction. That's not my bailiwick, you see."

"But it is," Ben said, pressing on. "You see, he's not really my master any more."

"Oh?" Maybe this was her bailiwick after all. Perhaps she had jumped the gun and should have drawn Ben out a little further first. A little encouragement was in order. "How so?"

"Well, it's pretty hard to explain, you see. We're stuck here. So the whole Jedi thing just doesn't matter any more. Under the circumstances, I think you are just what I'm looking for."

"Jedi?"

Fear flickered across Ben's face. "Oh," he flustered, "I didn't mean to say. . . That is. . . You know. . ."

"No," Aahntie Boo interrupted, "I don't know. But I'm willing to learn." She didn't know why, but she was really invested in getting this darling young man to come out for her.

"It's all just so unbelievable. Trust me. Just go from here. I have this master and I want to let him know he is loved, and I don't know how to do that."

Aahntie Boo was not to be deterred. "Ben, it's my job. I've heard things in this room most people would think could never happen. If it can be imagined, I've probably already heard it.." She reached over to pat the hand holding the scotch, encouraging Ben to take another sip. "I can't help you if I don't know your history. And that of your companion. Master, I think you called him."

"Yes, Ma'am. I call him Master." He took another drink.

"And what does he call you?" Aahntie Boo sipped her sherry.

"Padawan. He calls me his Padawan."

"A Jedi thing?" Aahntie Boo asked.

"Yes, Ma'am." The voice sounded wistful. "A Jedi thing."

"So tell me about Jedi."

"It's *the* Jedi. A lot of them. It's sort of like a religion, but not exactly. There's this Temple where we all live when we're not on missions. Where we serve the Light." He looked up at his listener to make sure she was following him. "Where we learn how to use the Force for the good of the universe."

Ben paused and Aahntie Boo knew he needed a bit of encouragement. "Go on. About the missions?"

"Well, you see, sometimes we are sent out as negotiators, sometimes we are warriors. Always on the lookout for the dark side. Or, at least we were. But that's all gone now." Ben said.

"Did your messiah die?" Aahntie Boo asked.

"Pardon?"

"Did your leader die? Your guru? Your Swami?" Aahntie Boo said. But the look on Ben's face told her she had missed the mark and it was time to try another tack. She refilled Ben's glass as she asked, "So how did you and your companion end up here?"

Ben looked a little embarrassed as he accepted the refreshed drink. "We sort of landed here by accident."

"Ah," Aahntie Boo said encouragingly. "And. . ."

"We can't find parts for the ship, so we're stuck here."

"The ship?"

"Yes." Ben gulped his second drink. "You know? It's all my fault. The accident I mean. I was supposed to know better than that, to disengage the hyperdrive before we approached the atmosphere, but, well, you know? I wasn't thinking fast enough. I never was very good at flying. Qui was so mad." Ben was rambling now, the second shot kicking in.

"Hmm." Aahntie Boo was beginning to wonder if she was being taken for a patsy, but without adequate information yet, she wanted to hear the rest of Ben's tale. "And that was how long ago?"

"About half a standard year," Ben answered.

"Standard?" Aahntie Boo asked.

"Yes. Standard as measured on Coruscant," Ben said.

"Coruscant?"

"Our home planet."

"Planet?" Now Aahntie Boo knew she was being played with. "Sorry, young man, like I said, this is not my area of expertise. You'll need to go now." She stood and started toward the door. But Ben did not follow. When she turned back, he was holding his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. If she was any judge of body language, which she prided herself on being, the boy was really miserable. She shook her head and tried to make herself behave. She knew better than to ever get personally involved with any of her clients. This one looked like real trouble.

"Come on, now, Ben," she said gently. "It's time for you to go."

Ben still didn't move. "You don't believe me. No one here believes me. It's been just horrible. Trying all the time to live like an actor in a play, putting on a performance." He looked up at her. "But I'm not an actor."

"You could have fooled me," Aahntie Boo said. "You're a dead ringer for a Scottish actor I'm quite fond of."

"Well, I'm not an actor. I'm a Jedi. Or at least I was. And I'm stuck here with a master who only thinks of me as his little padawan and I'm just so very tired of all of thish." He stood and headed unsteadily toward the door. "Tired ta deathf."

Something in Aahntie Boo's instincts told her this was not a time this young man should be out on the streets alone.

"Hold on a minute," she said quickly, moving between Ben and the door. "You can't just walk out of here like that. You obviously can't hold your liquor, young man. Here," she took his arm and led him back to the sofa, "have a seat."

Ben sat down again. Actually, it was more like he fell into the cushions.

"Now tell me. You called your master `Qui'. Does he have a phone number? Some way I can call him to come for you?"

Ben pulled a small silver thing out of a pouch on his belt and punched a button. He waited a moment and then spoke into the device. After a moment, he turned back to Aahntie Boo. "I forgot'cher address."

"One oh eight Main Street, number 405," Aahntie Boo said. She'd seen some weird cell phones, but this one took the cake. It was smaller than a credit card.

After another moment, Ben put the device back into his belt. "He wass already on hish way. Tha address will jusss make it fassster."

"Faster? Did you tell him you were coming here?"

"No. My master can sense me through tha force. Through our training bond," Ben said. "He knew I was troubled, so he'sh been lookin' fer me."

"I see," Aahntie Boo said soothingly. Bearing in mind that she was talking to a highly disturbed intoxicated schizophrenic patient and thinking to get the conversation back onto some kind of normal plane, she asked "And what does he do for a living, this Qui?"

"Since we landed, we found work as security guards."

"That sounds interesting," Aahntie Boo said. "Where do you work?"

"At First Capital Bank," Ben answered. "After tha crash, he figured out we needed credits to survive. There's no Temple here, you know? Jedi don't usually have regular jobs. He healed me. He'sh good at that. When I recuperated from my injuries, he got me on there too."

"So tell me about this Qui," she encouraged, thinking to herself that she must move her checking account first thing in the morning. "What kind of man is he?"

"Oh, he's a wunnerful master," Ben slurred. "Most respected knight in tha Temple. Sometimes he defies tha Council, but only when his conscience and tha force lead him. He is sooo patient wiff me. He almost didn't take me, you see. I almost ended up in tha Agricorps. Not that that would be all that bad. I'm just not all that good wiff plants. You know? And I know he luffes me, but he thinks I'm still a li'll boy. It's been years and years since I was a li'll boy. But he can't see that. He's dead fantastic with a lightsaber, too, but that's because he has tha highest midichlorian count in tha galaxy."

As she had been listening to Ben describe his master, Aahntie Boo had forgotten for a moment that the boy was bonkers. But the lightsaber and galaxy comment reminded her. Well, he really was bonkers. "I'm going to make some coffee," she said as she headed into the kitchen.

"Oh, Sithf. He's almos here." Aahntie Boo turned back to see Ben sink into a lotus position on the carpet, his forearms resting on his thighs, palms up. His face slipped into an almost blissful repose.

"And what are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm trying to heal myself of tha alcohol. He'll be here in a minute. He can't see me like thish." Ben closed his eyes.

Within sixty seconds, the doorbell rang. Ben rose gracefully to his feet and looked at Aahntie Boo, who was headed to the door, wondering to herself how he could have known exactly how soon his companion would arrive and whether he'd been putting on about being drunk. "Confidential," he said. It almost sounded like a plea.

Aahntie Boo opened the door to find a very large imposing man standing on her doorstep. He was clad in garments similar to those Ben wore, all the way down to the boots. He had to be at least six four or six five with long brown hair streaked with silver pulled back from the front of his face and flowing on his shoulders, and a trim neat beard. And he had the most startlingly bright blue eyes, which were locked onto Ben.

When Aahntie Boo could catch her breath, she moved aside, motioning the man into her room. "Come in, come in," she said. "Have a seat. You must be Qui."

Ben sank back onto the sofa, his eyes still stuck on the big man. The big man nodded. When he didn't move, Aahntie Boo took his elbow and pulled him into the foyer so she could close the door behind him. She couldn't read the expression on his face. It was almost as if he didn't have one. Looking at Ben, she could see he now had the same expression. It was as if they were communicating somehow. Ben looked down, ashamed. Qui straightened up and took a deep breath, exhaling through his mouth.

"I apologize if Ben has been bothering you, madam," he started.

"Oh, not at all. Here," she said pulling him into the room. "Sit." She practically had to push on him to get him to sit down, and considering her short stature, it would have taken quite an effort had he not decided to cooperate.

Ben's face had turned bright red, his hands clasping one another tightly. The tension in the room was palpable. Well, this was back to Aahntie Boo's territory, now She was a master herself, in her own field.

"I'm going to get you a cup of coffee, if that would be all right. Or would you prefer tea?" she asked.

"Tea would be a kindness, madam," the big man intoned.

"Just call me Aahntie Boo. Everyone does," she chirped as she headed into the kitchen. The whole time she was boiling the water, she heard absolutely nothing from the other room. Dead silence. She peeked around the door a few times to be sure that her visitors were still there, which they were.

"Obi, what is. . ." Qui started.

"Please, Master," Ben interrupted. "Please just wait until later."

"Very well, Padawan." Where Ben's accent was clearly upper class English, the other man sounded more Irish.

Aahntie Boo could hear the patronizing tone in Qui's voice. No wonder the young man was afraid to confront the big guy with his secret. No wonder he'd pined away in silence.

"Well," Aahntie Boo said, bringing a tray into the room. "Here's your tea." She handed a mug to each of the men and took one for herself, setting the sugar and cream on the coffee table within their reach. Both men spent a moment fixing their tea to their taste and sipping the hot liquid.

When everyone had relaxed a bit, Aahntie Boo tried to break the ice. "Well, Mr. Qui. Ben here has been telling me a lot about you."

Qui just nodded. Aahntie Boo let the silence lengthen, determined that one or the other of them would break it first. It was Qui who spoke. "It's just Qui, madam. Not Mister Qui."

"Oh, sure," Aahntie Boo said. "Just Qui. Alright."

Another pregnant pause. This time Aahntie Boo decided to take the lead. Confidences be damned, this boy had come to her for help and he may be a nut case, but he was a pathetically love lorn nut case and maybe she could at least help with that.

"Qui," she began. "Like I said, Ben has been telling me a lot about you. He has the greatest respect for your skills."

Qui raised an expressive eyebrow, but did not respond.

"You've been his mentor since he was a child, I understand. He's a lovely young man. You should be quite proud."

As she had expected, the big man was not able to suppress a look of pride, gazing fondly at Ben.

"Yes. I expect it's been quite difficult for you these past few years. Boys do grow up so quickly. And coming here to the city. I understand that where you come from, things are quite different."

"Yes, madam," Qui said, and Aahntie Boo could hear the resignation in his voice.

Aahntie Boo was impressed. She'd hit a chord. Ben hadn't moved, clutching his mug much as he had his scotch glass. Whatever he had done had seemed to work because she could not see a trace of intoxication in him any more. Some of those religious orders had remarkable control over their bodies.

"Ah, yes. Difficult it must be for you here. Beautiful such a young man is. Your job it is to protect him. Hmmmm?" Auhntie Boo heard the strange dialect come out of her mouth and wondered what on earth had come over her.

"Pardon?" Ben and Qui spoke in unison, both turning to look at her in surprise.

"Protect him. He's so lovely. I can see that there would be loads of young ladies out there who set their caps for him. He'd be quite a catch." Aahntie Boo took a moment to blow across the top of her hot tea, letting her words sink in, thinking to herself that if only those ladies knew, they would run for the hills.

"Or men. It must be hard." She took a sip. The two men just stared at her.

Well, this was her job, after all. "And hard for poor Ben, too. You're so handsome, Qui. I can see that it would be scary for him to be afraid that you would meet some lady and want to get married and have a family. You and I are of an age, I've been told. Oh, yes, I do understand about the urge to have babies when that old biological clock is ticking away." She smiled to herself, knowing that if either of these two guys had ever had such ideas, they wouldn't be in her room.

"What? No?" She feigned surprise at the look on their faces. "Oh, I see," she said as if the mystery had suddenly been revealed to her.

A touch of irritation colored Qui's voice. "You see what, madam?"

"Well, Ben here is bound to be worried about you, and you about him. You being strangers here, and all." Aahntie Boo watched the reaction to that suggestion carefully. She really was a good judge of character. The pride, the work he was doing to conceal his affection. The older man was just as besotted as the younger, but much less likely to act on his attraction. At least Ben had sought professional help. Qui was the kind of guy who thought he could handle anything and heaven forbid he need a therapist.

Well, Aahntie Boo figured she'd cracked the ice and now it was time for the Titanic to sail ahead. "Have you ever thought about fucking him?" she asked, taking another dainty sip of her cooling tea.

A lightening bolt could have struck the middle of the room and none of them would have moved. "Hmmm?" Another small sip.

She looked directly at Ben. "How about you? You ever thought of it?" she asked. Ben swallowed hard, but didn't answer.

Aahntie Boo turned her attention to the older man. "You, Qui. Ever crossed your mind?"

Qui regained his composure first. "Excuse me, madam," he said as he started to unfold his long body from his chair. "I think it's time for us to be leaving."

Aahntie Boo wasn't letting him off the hook that easy. "No, I don't think so. I think that you are both here because you need my help. Fate may have brought you to my door, but once you are here, you aren't leaving until you have resolved this conflict."

Qui stood tall, towering over the petite woman in her chair.

"Oh, sit back down, Qui." The authority in her voice was unmistakable and the big man folded himself back into his chair. There, that was better, she thought to herself.

"Now," Aahntie Boo began, putting her mug down on the tray. "Let's get this straight. Ben here is probably in love with you, Qui. And you are probably in love with him. But you're a big bad master and he's a little. . .what did you call him again?"

"Padawan," Qui said.

"Mmm. Right. Padawan. Odd title. Oh well, where was I. Oh, yes. He's a little padawan. And he adores you. But then he's supposed to because you're his master. But that was ten years ago and he's a grown man now. A really lovely one, too, isn't he, Qui?" she asked.

Now it was Qui's turn to swallow hard. He did so and then nodded, looking over to Ben, who hadn't said a word or moved a muscle.

"And you, Qui. A big strong man like you. I expect that in this Temple of yours, it's been pretty hard to keep yourself in the closet, hasn't it?"

"Closet?" Qui's voice almost sounded like a squeak.

"Closet. Oh, dear. Hmmm. That must be an expression you aren't familiar with. In this city, it means that you're gay and don't let anyone know. You keep it hidden. Like in a closet. Now do you understand?"

"I think so, ma'am." Qui said.

"This temple of yours. These Jedi? Were all the monks there celibate?" She asked this question of Ben, trying to draw him out.

Qui reacted quickly, turning on Ben. "You told her!"

"No," Ben said defensively. "Not exactly. Well, just a little bit. She figured most of it out."

"Calm down, Qui. He really didn't say much. I'm just good at what I do, and I really do catch on quickly."

"Did he tell you about the crash?" Qui asked.

"A little."

"And about the ship?"

Aahntie Boo was taking a leap here. Maybe these guys were living in the same delusion. In which case, they really did deserve one another. "I expect that, with your advanced technology, you couldn't find any parts on earth to fix the ship and now you are stuck here. Would that be a fair statement?"

Both Ben and Qui turned astonished expressions toward Aahntie Boo.

"So the constraints placed upon you by the Council at the temple are no longer valid." Hey, Aahntie Boo was impressed with herself for remembering all these little details.

She turned to Qui. "Do you love him?" she asked, her tone of voice brooking no avoidance.

Qui lowered his head and nodded. Ben stared at his master in fascination.

"Like a master or like a man?"

"Both." Aahntie Boo could hardly hear the answer, but it didn't really matter. All that mattered was the he acknowledge it to himself. There was a dignity about the man, no doubt about that. Whatever he had been in the past, respect for himself and others had been a big part of it.

"And how about you, young man?"

"Yes," Ben whispered. "I love him."

"Well, then, good," Aahntie Boo exclaimed. "Then the only question now is who wants to be the bottom and who wants to be the top. Do either of you have a preference?"

From the looks on their faces, it was quite obvious to the little therapist that neither of these guys had any idea what she was talking about. Oh, well. This case was going to take a bit more than usual.

"Come on," Aahntie Boo said, rising and heading toward the bed. "Let's get on with it."

"Pardon?" It was Ben that was able to ask.

"To bed. Let's get you two to bed." Aahntie Boo was already pulling down the duvet and spreading the pillows. She looked back to where the two men were now standing. Well, at least they were on their feet. That's progress, she thought.

"Ben," Aahntie Boo gestured toward the younger man. "Come on over here."

As if in a trance, Ben followed Aahntie Boo over to the bed.

"That's good. Now," she said, unbuckling his belt, "let's get you undressed."

Qui had followed Ben, but remained a few feet behind. Obviously she had flummoxed this supposed Jedi master.

"You," she said, turning to Qui, "come on. Take your clothes off."

Ben sat down on the side of the bed and started taking off his boots.

"Padawan," Qui said sharply. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking my boots off, master," Ben said.

"Just do it," Aahntie Boo said. She was becoming a bit exasperated. But then she remembered. Ben had come to her. Qui had no idea who she was.

She walked over and took his hand gently, drawing him forward. "It's all right, Qui," she said soothingly. "You see, it's my job. This is what I do."

"Your job?"

"Yes, my job. I'm a gay sex therapist. The straight folks have Doctor Ruth. The gays have me. That's how Ben here found me. He heard me on my radio show."

Ben nodded enthusiastically. Qui sat heavily on the bed beside his padawan.

"Now I don't know about this temple you came from," she said. "But I do know about how two guys have sex and there are a lot of ways to give one another great pleasure. I'm going to presume that both of you are virgins. Would that be correct?"

Qui didn't respond; he just swallowed heavily. Ben nodded, tossing his second boot away and untying his tunics, layer by layer.

"Another time, you can enjoy watching one another as you take off your clothes. But this first time, you are both going to be very self-conscious. So we'd best approach this in a very businesslike manner. The two of you can work on being more romantic with one another when you get home."

Ben shrugged out of his tunics, folding them carefully and looking around for where to place them. Aahntie Boo took them out of his hands. "Ben," she said. "Why don't you help Qui."

Ben got down onto the floor and started unbuckling Qui's boots. Aahntie Boo kept on talking.

"Now, I expect that you already know that the whole idea of gay sex is that one of you will penetrate the other one anally. The one that is penetrated is usually called the `bottom'. That's kind of a slang, but it's universal enough that, if you are going to be gay lovers, you ought to learn the vocabulary. The top does the penetrating. The real advantage to being gay is you can do either. Heterosexual couples don't have that much choice. I have a friend who tells me that most gays like to be the bottoms, to receive. The bottom actually has more control, but for sex to be good, you have to work together."

The whole time that Aahntie Boo was talking, Ben was slowly removing Qui's clothes. Qui wasn't protesting, but he wasn't taking any initiative either. "Now a lot of gay guys like to suck cock or to have their cocks sucked." The two men gasped, turning toward Aahntie Boo.

"Now just quit that. If you're going to get shocked at everything I say, we're going to be here all night, and I can assure you that I intend to go home tonight. I've already been in this office all day, and I'm tired. So let's get on with it. Like I said, you can figure out the romance part on your own at home. Let's get to the sex."

(continued in part 2)