Four Jedi in a Bed

#tpm nonsense by authors as listed

(The authors would like it known that it just happened, it wasn't our fault, and it was -- for some time zones -- really, really late.)

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Rated S for Silly.

Imagine, if you will, a convention. Numerous being are in attendance, among them, four Jedi. As is the way of cons, the rooms are booked, double-booked, and multi-quadraically booked. (Yes, I made that word up.) Unfortunately for the four Jedi, their reservations were made too late to secure three rooms. Or two rooms. Or even one room with two beds.

What follows is an out-of-order, non-cohesively arranged, list of things that might be overheard in such a room (or the room next door):

<Kimdyread> "Move your cold feet you will!"

<kalykat> "Okay, who brought their lightsaber to bed?"

<KalEdit> "That's not my foot thats my arm you short toad!"

<James> "I need to go to the bathroom." <crawls over everyone else>

<kalykat> "Ow, my eye your elbow hit!"

<James> "I am not spooning Master Yoda!" Mace grumbles.

<Kimdyread> "Get your elbow ugh...out...of...my...kidney..."

<James> Obi-Wan whispers, "Master, wanna sleep on the floor?"

<kalykat> "But Master, why do I have to be beside Master Yoda?"

<NatiWrite> pfft Pfftt Pfft "Get the hair out of my face, or loose it for good!"

<kalykat> "Hm... bedposts make good restraint holders..."

<Kimdyread> "Okay, who didn't shower?"

<NatiWrite> "Uhm, Master... your hand.. it's... i think... mayb you should... not rest it there"

<James> "You are not getting in this bed unless you are wearing pajamas!!"

<kalykat> "Mace, those lepoard print bikini briefs weren't sexy when we were young - don't make us look at them now"

<James> "What are you doing? Is that a mud mask?"

<Wolfling> "Take care of complexion one must!"

<Messa> "Yoda!, I'm sure that teddy looked wonderful on you at 200, but now...."

<kalykat> "Master... are those rollers in your hair?"

<Messa> "Master, are those Bunnyy Slippers?!"

<NatiWrite> "Windu... roll over... you will!" gasp "Now... breathe... I cannnot... Pillow.. I am not!" gasp.

<Kimdyread> "Master, I didn't know they still made Underoos!"

<Messa> Qui- Gon, really, Superman pajamas and pink bunnyslippers?"

Kimdyread tries to picture Qui in pjs, bunny slippers and curlers...

<kalykat> "look! Yoda's wearing pj's with a button-up butt flap."

<kalykat> "Okay, who sewed up the front of my boxers?!"

<Kimdyread> Snicker heard from the other side of the bed...

<James> "Mace, are you sleeping with a stuffed wookie?"

<kalykat> "Cuddle toy I am not, hands off my ears you will remove."

<NatiWrite> "Master! Help... something's humping my leg. Get it off!" "Easy, Padawan, that's only Master Yoda. And I am not assisting his pleasure."

<James> "Master, he's asleep.. but he's calling me Lovebumps and rubbing my chest!"

<kalykat> "Hey, Qui--" "No, Mace, I'm not walking to the bathroom with you - look, there's a nightlite right there..."

<James> "Tell a bedtime story, someone should."

<James> "Qui-Gon, fetch a glass of water, you shall." "My Master, get it yourself." "Fetch me a glass of water, you shall!" <waves hand> <James> Qui rolls over. "Obi, get Master Yoda some water."

<kalykat> "Qui, I'm thirsty..." "Sorry, Mace, no drinks after 8, we don't want to have to hose the bed." Obi mutters: "again"

<Kimdyread> I can see them all sneaking their stuffed animals into bed when they think everyone else is sleeping, and all wake to find each other with their plushies.

<James> And they all see Master Yoda, sleeping quietly, finally. "Aw, he looks like he's 130. Isn't he cute?"

<kalykat> "Not as cute as you, Obi" "Aw, Master." "Knock it off or I get out the fire hose, you two."

<James> "Obi, please?" "Master, I love you, but I am not having sex with you with them in the bed with us!" "We don't mind watching."

<kalykat> "Okay, who booked the rooms for the intergalatic jedi convention and why is there one bed?"

<James> "Hey! The bed has one of those vibrating mattress. I've got a bunch of quarters!"

<kalykat> "Book this i did not! Oohhhh! Magic fingers! Quarters you will give me!"

<James> "Master, I don't have a pillow." "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, they only gave us three. You can use Master Yoda."

<kalykat> "Hey, look, Master! If I jump on the bed I can touch the ceiling!" "Brag you should not, when 800 years old you reach - shrink too, you will."

<James> And when they get all settled in, and ready to finally fall asleep, they hear through the walls someone's TV go on, blasting. "Sith next door, there must be!"

<NatiWrite> "When 800 years old I reach, pile of dust will I be. I'm enjoying the bed while I can ."

<James> "There is nothing on this TV. They said we had free JBO. I can't find it."

<James> "Hi, this is room 1217. We need a wake-up call at 7am." "Mace! Tell them 9am or you're sleeping in the bathtub!"

<Kimdy> "Ow Ow OW! Who's laying on my braid?"

<kalykat> "Mace, are you trying to pull my hair on top of your bald head?"

<James> "Isn't there a separate Padawans' Convention I could have gone to?"

<NatiWrite> "But.. but.. but why do I have to sleep pinned against the wall, Master?" "So Yoda can't go after your leg again, are you complaining?" "No, it's just that there's no room... I'm pinned here beween your cock and the wall." "You're what?!?!" "a rock and a wall, Master... what did you think I said?"

<kalykat> "remind me why I didn't room with Bant?"

<James> "Remind me why I didn't stay at the Temple?"

<James> "Remind me why I agreed to help the concom?"

<Regs> "Obi-wan- put your pants back on right now!"

<James> "Remind me, you shall, why agreed to bring you, I did!"

<James> "Oh, look, Master! The vending machine has glow in the dark condoms!"

<kalykat> "Mace, get Obi's underwear off your head."

<James> "Obi-Wan, why are you putting that glow in the dark condom on Mace?"

<KalWrite> "Obi-Wan is sleeping at the edge, and I'm sleeping next to him got it?"

<kalykat> "Master, what's a ... french tickler?"

<Regs> "Master- please put your cock back were it belongs."

<kalykat> "Well, Obi, you've got your pants on still so I can't."

<NatiWrite> "Master, I can't find my 'saber." "I've got a 'saber' for you right here."

<kalykat> sniff "qui, you used to talk to me like that"

<James> "Talk to me like this, you never did."

<kalykat> "Why did I have to? I've seen your phone bill"

<NatiWrite> "Master! Please! If you don't grunt don't move wiggle I'm going to... thud fall off the bed. sigh."

the end